What can I tell my sister-in-law?

Question

Shes 35 years old and won't drive anywhere by herself.

Theres alot more to this story than I want to post here....but to make a long story short....she really bugs the crap out of me....and is constantly asking me to go places with her because she doesn't want to go by herself.

I can say this much about her......if she weren't my s-i-l.....our paths would NEVER cross........

Any GOOD suggestions???

Thanks..

To clarify...she is my brothers wife.

They've been married 13 years......and the majority of the time...she wants me to go with her to take her kids to the doctor......She just won't go by herself.

She is afraid to drive on any freeways/highways...she always has to take the back roads, which take forever to get anywhere.

She makes me drive her vehicle.....on the back roads...she won't let me go the way I want to......and then I have to listen to her *music* if you can call it that....and then she starts preaching at me about going to church......

I only have to babysit her kids for another 9 1/2 months...and then I'm DONE...

I have just come right out and said *No, I don't want to * I have lied....I have done everything possible and she still asks all the time!

My mother is constantly telling me that I need to be nicer.....but I'm to the point where I want to pull not only MY hair out....but hers (my s-i-l) as well!!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

I do have a suggestion...slowly and gently ease up with the going places with her. Make it less and less gradually.....until you are too busy to go with her. Maybe once or twice a month is fine but surely not every week (not sure how much time you spend entertaining her buddy-system issue). I know what you mean because I have a sister in law whom I know I would probably never know much less be friends with had we not been sil's.

Answer 2

It sounds like she may be suffering from agoraphobia - I knew someone who was and the symptoms sound almost exactly the same. I am not sure how you can find a support group - we have one in a church in my area that I would go to with meetings with her - but you may be able to find one in the phone book or perhaps a public health facility. If that is what it is, it is just as disabling as any medical condition but it can be overcome in time. you may be able to find out more info by putting agoraphobia in a search engine on line as well. My friend, for example could not watch the movie "what about Bob?" because it was about an agoraphobic person and was very much like the symptoms she had. you might even be able to tell her that is her problem if she is open minded enough about that and once she realizes that and looks for help she will be better off - and you will too I suspect from what you said!!

Answer 3

Have you asked her why she is not comfortable driving? If not you might want to. Work through whatever caused her to become fearful of driving, and be supportive. I mean If you have to babysit for the next what 9 months, then might as well be a constructive nine months. Help her past it, tell her things that will boost her confidence, and becoming more independant and self-confident will bring her happiness as well, and then you both will eventually enjoy each others company. Shes family, work on making it a good relationship for the future. Look at it positively, and good luck to you.

Answer 4

This sounds awful. You should just buy her a bus pass. You should tell her brother that it's starting to be a problem, she's not your responsibility. Your brother needs to start figuring out what he can do to take care of his own wife & kid. I understand you on this. If nothing helps, maybe you can move far away to avoid this. LOL. Or say that your working a full time job with over time, going to school & have no time to be her taxi driver anymore.

Answer 5

Your sister in law is affraid un unsecure with herself.
She probably was an over-protected child.

Ask her ¿Whay she feel she need company?
Ask her if you can help.

This information can help ypu understan better how she sees the world and why she demands excesive attention.

Introduce her to other friends her age, so she can have more company abd deveated her attention elsewhere, incase she's bugging you too much.

Answer 6

well, you don't have to take her or go with her anywhere just because she is your Sister In Law. Find yourself excuses, or say you are busy, you have a lot going on. Look, My MIL, she wants me to take her out together!! wow, especially when I start driving a car.
she wants to go out, she owns a car but she doesn't drive it at all, she doesn't know how to drive and she is 62 years old in Australia.
So, a person that I know told me that I don't have to take her anywhere, it is not my duties, I just do my duties.

Answer 7

is she your husbands sister or brothers wife? well definitely keep being nice to her. especially if she is your husbands sister. you should tell her it is driving you crazy that you have to drive her everywhere. but be nice about it. maybe you can tell her you need some space. kinda like how people break up. lol.