First, I just want to say that he is very loving, caring, and I am so happy to be with him..but there is a problem that comes up sometimes. He is also 6 years older than me. He thinks he has the right to tell me what to do. He knows I dont and wont listen to him all the time but its really getting on my nerves. Like he will tell me that I need to find a better job, that I am on my computer too much, that I check my email too much, that I need to fill my schedule with more things, that I need to save more money, that I need to move out of my parents house (Im still in college trying to save $!)..basically he just gets so bossy sometimes, it drives me crazy! Everything I do, he has to have a say that usually comes off controlling. A while ago we got into an argument about him talking to an ex of his (that he has sinced stopped) but at the time he told me "I am going to do what I want, not what you want, youre not the boss of me"...but apparently that doesnt work for me? What do I do??
2007-01-03 15:21:00 · 20 answers · asked by swtgrlm 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
im 20 he is 26
2007-01-03 15:35:44 · update #1
Dumb the loser. Find someone better. Why would you be happy to be with someone who obviously makes you unhappy?
2007-01-03 15:24:02 · answer #1 · answered by Katie T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bossy Boyfriend
2017-01-09 10:38:50 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My boyfriend is the exact same way..but more verbally abusive. Its difficult to deal with. I never was the type to date or be controlled by any guy, he's my first. He's very controlling and jealous, and I'm very independent, and patient. In the beginning it wasn't as bad. A year later it's been bad, many times I feel so embarrassed and ashamed that I let him treat me the way that he does.
For the past few weeks, I haven't let him control me or tell me to shut up when we're arguing. He thinks he knows best, and what he has to say is more important, but it isn't. I watched Oprah a month ago, there was a lady on their talking about 5 signs that a relationship could be come violent. I remembered all those signs, later that day while we were arguing, and he was telling me to shut the Fcuk up, all i could think of were the signs on the t.v screen. I was shocked, and it made me wake and a realize everything. Now, I won't let him control me. I told him the signs that I saw on Oprah, that made him go insane. It was scary, but now he knows that he was being controlling, and abusive. He's trying to change his ways.
Just don't let it go to far like I did, now I have to suffer with the self humiliation and embarrassment of being controlled and abused by a man.
2007-01-03 15:38:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I understand that you love him, so you must do everything you can to make things work for the both of you..You need to sit him down with out yelling and getting frustrated, tell him that also before you guys begin the conversation...Explain to him that you understand that he may have tendencies to advise you to do what he thinks is best for you, but it doesn't come off as that in the moment..That you like to hearing his opinion, but you would rather him wait until you ask for it that way it is constructive criticism instead of you feeling small and like he wants to control you..Tell him you love him and want both of you to be happy.. If he does not take this well give him some time to think it through with out calling him or bothering him..If he tries his best and changes then everything will be great you will get what you want and in the process you will see how much he loves you b/c of him trying so hard to change for you..Now, if he doesn't then it is sad to say that maybe then he just doesn't love or care for you enough..B/c when you are with someone for things to work you need to give 100/100! If both parties do not give 100% their is no way it will work out...
GOOD LUCK!!
2007-01-03 15:33:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) You are entitled to a life!!!!!!!!!!! Do you really want to be bossed around by the person you have chosen as a mate?? I think not... Much better to find some one that you look forward to spending time with ALL OF THE TIME....
2) No one has the right to "be the boss" of anyone else in a relationship... period.
3) There are controlling manipulating people in the world.. they are to be avoided.. There is no amount of "good" that will overpower the "bad-controlling-bossing around"... you will leave it eventually... better now than later. In the future, better to see it before you even get involved..
- FLY little grasshopper.. and enjoy YOUR life..
2007-01-03 15:28:05 · answer #5 · answered by gjm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that he is controlling is a really bad thing, it doesn't matter how caring and loving you think he is. You either need to sit down and talk to him and see if that fixes the problem or you need to break up with him. I have a friend in the same situation with his g/f and when he tried talking to her she got really angry. You just need to take a moment to yourself to decide how you want your life to be. Do you want to end up with some guy that is going to tell you what to do all the time or do you want someone that will let you choose for yourself and be a part of your decisions?
2007-01-03 15:27:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out. plain and simple. if he is disrespecting you and everything you do by telling you what you can and cannot do and what you should and should not do there is is no point in being in this relationship. He will not listen to you as you have proven so why should you take his crap? ya sure he can be loving and caring but i've had friends and cousins in this pretyt much exact situation and there outcomes were never good (for example turned into beatings and threats) get out while you can, he's 6 years older than you, you do not need that, find someone who will love you for who you are and what you do, not someone who wants to mold you into what they want you to be
2007-01-03 15:26:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to asses if it's at an ordinate level. (you may even be wise to check with others, which is a little bit recursive.) Those who see absolutely no need for the opinions and approval of others, as they are assured of their own greatness and correctness, and these include the the truly great but also more commonly the arrogant bound for disaster, wrongly confident in their own path and abilities. Yes there are, at the other end of the scale, those terribly lacking in self confidence who need to be less dependent on the opinions and good opinion of others (who may be no better informed or wiser than themselves). Of such are the bulk of fashion crazes, and gangs and mobs, formed. Somewhere in between the opinion and approval of others is valued, but also weighed.
2016-03-29 06:49:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well the age difference...I don't know ..my boy friend is much older.. but he don't boss me... Just stay on the watch out... if what he does gets to you...I THINK that either you have a great relationship ...and you can stick this one thing out or... you got a problem.. cos controlling only gets bad ... bit at a time
2007-01-03 15:26:14 · answer #9 · answered by sam 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can you be so happy to be with someone who wants to control just about everything you do? It won't stop, it'll only get worse. Next thing you know he'll be wanting you to end any contact with your family and friends. I say drop him immediately if not sooner.
2007-01-03 20:29:19 · answer #10 · answered by ctsnowmiss 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
kick him in the nuts and tell him to get lost!! Actually I would reverse it. Start doing the same thing to him... Tell him all his faults regularly nd tell him he cant do things, at the end of two weeks he wont be able to stand it anymore, and ask him how being bossed around and criticized feels
2007-01-03 15:27:06 · answer #11 · answered by Tristin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋