My very close friend is having a wedding. I am in the USA and she lives in Japan. She got pregnant unexpectedly to a guy she knew only for a few months. Once she discovered she was pregnant they got married immediately on paper. They are now having the wedding a few months later. I would like be there for my friend on her special day, but I know I will not be happy at her wedding. I feel like I am losing a friend and everything has happened to fast. The trip will cost a lot of money to go and I might miss a few day of school (I am in college). Does this make me a bad friend if I do not attending her wedding? Why?
2007-01-03 15:14:34 · 21 answers · asked by puffgirl2000 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
You should not go to any wedding if you have objections to the marriage. Send your friend a nice gift and stay home.
2007-01-03 15:59:35 · answer #1 · answered by m2little 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure she would understand because of the distance if you could not attend her wedding. It doesn't make you a bad friend if you miss her wedding. Especially since you may have to miss school she should understand that it is an expensive trip and that you are busy. This wedding has also been planned so fast. You wouldn't be able to spend much time with your friend while you are there, because I'm sure she'll be busy with the wedding. Unless you would be going to see more people than just her it probably isn't worth the trip. If she is a good friend I'm sure she'll understand.
2007-01-03 15:20:28 · answer #2 · answered by steffiegirl815 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To answer your question, not attending her wedding does NOT make you a bad friend, especially considering it's in Japan, and you're in the US. That's one very expensive plane ticket, and you're going to have other expenses while overseas as well, such as a hotel, food, transportation, etc. If you can afford those expenses, and want to go, then by all means do so, but since you said you're in college, I somehow think the money you would spend on a trip to Japan you could find a much better use in paying tuition, and not having as big of a student loan when you graduate. If it were me, I wouldn't go, not because I thought my friend has moved into this relationship too quickly, but because I just wouldn't be able to afford a trip to Japan like that.
2007-01-03 15:54:50 · answer #3 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would call or write to her and explain your delema. That you love her and want nothing more than to be at her wedding, but since it is so far away, and expensive, you dont think it is possible. If she is a good friend as you say, she will certainly understand that. If she really wants you there that bad, then she will help you work it out, maybe by paying your way over there. Just tell her the truth. It will make her feel good if you can insist on her making sure that you get some pictures and some kind of momento from the wedding. Hope this helps.
2007-01-03 15:23:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you afford the trip? You're right when you say it'll be expensive. Things cost a lot in Japan, not even to mention the airline ticket (round trip.)
Can you afford the time away from your classes? A few days? Or maybe even a couple of weeks?
If you can't afford this, tell your friend that you just can't afford it. Most important, I think, would be the harm to your studies by missing time from school. If she's a real friend, she should be able to accept that.
Send the bride and groom a nice gift along with your apologies that you just can't make it to the ceremony.
2007-01-03 15:24:50 · answer #5 · answered by kiwi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No it doesn't make you a bad friend because you have income issues and being a student, it would be hard to afford such a trip. But all the same, if you could pull a few dollars together and go over there, it would be a trip of a lifetime, not everyday do we get to go overseas. In the end, if you explained to your friend that you can't afford to go, i'm sure she would understand, especially if she is a good friend of yours.
2007-01-03 15:26:32 · answer #6 · answered by mb722004 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
I believe that If your friend is Truly Happy, then you should be Happy for her/them. Because there is nothing really that you can do about it. If you canot afford the wedding, then there is really not much you can do but to support her from where you are! But.... if you are not going because you are unhappy that she is getting married, I think that might be a little selfish. It very well could just crush your friend if you didn't go, and make one of the Happiest Day Of her Life, one that she might not furfill, and remember for the rest of her life. I bet that you are really special to her, and that she cherishes your friendship a great deal.
Sincerely,
HooYah
2007-01-03 15:25:18 · answer #7 · answered by HooYah 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not going doesn't make you a bad friend. This happened really fast and she's asking you to go across the world PLUS Japan is very expensive.
2007-01-03 15:23:23 · answer #8 · answered by Sara 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not going isn't going to make you a bad friend, you need to do what makes you comfortable...But if you can afford it I would deffinatly go, you obviously don't know when you will be seeing this friend again and you wouldn't want to turn that oppurtunity down would you?
And it may just give you a chance to let her know how you feel...
Good luck to you and hope you figure it out :}
2007-01-03 15:26:43 · answer #9 · answered by Irish Girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the answer to the concentrated visitor record being too vast is you do no longer ask a ton of single human beings. appropriate etiquette is to renowned that a marriage is the turning out to be a member of of a guy and female in holy matrimony. As such, it is going to no longer rigidity couples, even courting couples, aside. You ask your closest pals and family individuals with the thought they are going to hold a date. That way they are in a position to rejoice the excitement with you and not experience undesirable that they left their boy pal or female pal homestead on my own. it is an extremely cheesy undertaking. and it will say plenty approximately your boy pal and your courting. you reside mutually. Why no longer married? he's getting his cake and eating it too. And now he needs extra cake. He needs to bypass to the marriage whether he has to go away you at the back of. and you're happy with this? seems to me you're being taken great thing approximately. Say not extra to absolutely everyone. if your boyfriend is going with out you, while he comes homestead you're able to be packed up and out of the homestead. His courting together with his pals is extra important than his courting with you. the certainty that his pal could invite him and not you exhibits that even his pal is conscious the genuine score.
2016-10-06 10:04:49 · answer #10 · answered by erlebach 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋