He has been married before, i broke up with my ex 2 months before our (with my ex) wedding. Is it being selfish to want to go to an island to get married by ourselves?
2007-01-03 15:04:03 · 19 answers · asked by nis 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Yes, it is selfish, but that doesn't mean it is wrong - especially under the circumstances. Sounds like you've done the wedding thing already and it didn't work out.
I don't know how close you are to your immediate family, and friends and extended family, but you may have to compromise. Let them share in your joy by throwing a reception when you return. I'd be most worried about my parents, so talk to them first. If you get their blessing on it - go for it without looking back!
Otherwise you'll have to weight the relationship costs of doing such a thing and if your relationships will recover.
2007-01-03 15:07:23 · answer #1 · answered by apbanpos 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
My Husband and I took off and got married two years ago...just us two. My family and friends still harrass us about it. So we might have a reception or a little ceremony for them at our 5 year anniversary:) I guess we were selfish,but in the end it's the 2 of you that are getting married and it should be a day to celebrate the joining of the both of you. Our wedding was small and intimate and I loved it. My sister had a huge wedding invited everyone known to man, was on A Wedding Story, and divorced a year later. Not only that she wanted to leave her own wedding because it seemed like the wedding was for everyone else,but her.
2007-01-03 15:14:13 · answer #2 · answered by jade_143 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are doing it because it is what both of you want, not because you think you need to escape from someone or thing. This is about you and your soon to be husband, NO ONE ELSE!!!
Then again you don't have to leave and go anywhere, if the above mentioned is the true reason. If family is being a problem, then tell them that this is your day and if they what to be a part of it, then sit down, shut up, and make it all about you!!
I say again, make yourselves happy on this day. Maybe a compromise is taking both sets of parents, and a small wedding party( filled with immediate family, close friends etc.) Then you can still go away to an island and maybe make some peace?
2007-01-03 15:18:13 · answer #3 · answered by Angy FFRTFC 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it is not selfish!! It is your wedding and you have the right to do what ever you chose..If your spouse or mate wants to have a wedding with his family and friends then I would suggest that you do it for him..This is a very important day and if he wants to share it with everyone, don't stop him from showing the world how much he loves you..Besides this day is only once for you two..Try to make it a special as possible..If he is down with going away then you guys should go..
Maybe you should evaluate why you want to go away, and be sure that you are not just trying to run away from issues that you have in your head. If you are that is not a reason to run off and get married..Be sure you are doing the right thing and for the right reasons..If you want this marriage to work you guys need to be 100% honest with each other and compromise as much as needed.. Each person in the relationship should give 100%!! Who ever said 50/50 did not know what they were talking about..If everyone only gave half of what they had to their marriage not a damn one would work...You must give 100/100! Remember that and be sure you are willing to do that for this person..If you are don't be afraid to show the world how much you guys love each other..
2007-01-03 15:22:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I kinda eloped. We were actually planning a much needed holiday and thought - what the hell and decided to get married as well... 2 months later and after telling everyone what we were doing we went to Palm Cove and got married on the beach... and I wouldn't have changed it for the world.
My mum and her partner ended up planning a holiday the same time and just made sure she was in town for the day of the wedding...
Do it if you're not into the whole MASSIVE wedding thing!!!
2007-01-04 00:48:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I really wanted to take off and have a twosome ceremony on a bluff. We ended up compromising because we both valued our families' desire to share the day with us. We had a smallish ceremony a few hours out of town in the middle of the week (cut way down on guests and price). I don't regret it, but always wonder how my quiet little wedding overlooking the ocean would have been. Do what you want! It is your day and you will only have it once. Don't regret your choice or go unhappily through what should be a happy day! If the people you love, love you, they will understand. Good luck.
2007-01-03 15:25:04 · answer #6 · answered by C.D.N. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have 5 daughters and I am in the process of planning a 3rd wedding...i would be relieved if my daughter said she was going to an island to get married. We would do a small reception or wedding dinner later for family and friends. Do what you feel is best for for you..do what your heart tells you. Your heart is never wrong?
2007-01-03 18:07:12 · answer #7 · answered by guinevere2258 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe a little selfish..... but I had a big church wedding and really I wish that my husband and I would have just went to the court house and paid the Justice of the Peace the $60.
2007-01-03 15:41:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not being selfish at all! It's Y'ALL's day. It should be what y'all want it to be. Just to avoid hurt feelings and misunderstanding you might want to explain it to people you're close to. They might be dissappointed, but I'm sure they'll understand. You might also consider having a video of the ceremony made so that nobody back home misses the moment and the two of you maintain the intimacy that you want. Good luck and congrats!
2007-01-03 15:14:06 · answer #9 · answered by Keruma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think so. In my experience, it is the people who have small weddings who have stayed married the longest. Maybe we do what we need to do as a couple rather than than what everyone else thinks.
2007-01-03 15:12:02 · answer #10 · answered by Susan M 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋