There's a girl that I'm crazy about and she knows it but she had a bad relationship in the past. She's basing everything on that one horrible relationship. How do I prove to her that I'm not like her exboyfriend and that our relationship won't be like that?
2007-01-03 14:54:11 · 8 answers · asked by Steven 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Be her friend. Don't push her; earn her trust.
2007-01-03 14:57:05 · answer #1 · answered by drammy22 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would help if I knew what the specific issues are, but since you didn't mention them, you need to make sure that you know what the real issues are. I know men hate this, but talk to her when she wants to talk about him. When she starts relating something the two of you are doing, hear her out and really listen so that you understand what it is that she is getting nervous about. You will likely begin to see patterns, and triggers for her jitters. Be a good listener, be prepared to take it slow, and above all else, be prepared for her to take a while to come around. Wounds that come from the battlefield of love don't heal quickly or easily. If you're not prepared to wade through the fallout, then don't get involved with her, because the last thing she's going to want to see from you is proof that she is right and "all men are the same" If you really like her, be prepared to take a long, patient friendship walk with her before it gets better. If you don't really want to commit to the healing process with her, then stay away because trying to "fix" her will only make things worse. She will see that you are a good listener, that you inderstand her becuase you listen. She will see that you are patient, and that you are willing to stand by her through her difficult times, and that is how you will show her that you are not that other guy. She needs to see it through your honest and loving actions, and she may need to see it for a while before she will believe it is not some game you are playing to get at her. I ran from my poor husband for five years before I finally realized what he had told me all along was the truth, we have been married for ten years now and I would never have married him if he hadn't shown that he could wait for me to stop being afraid of being hurt again. Hopefully she'll see it before I did, but all you can really do is be the man she needs you to be.
2007-01-03 23:13:13 · answer #2 · answered by Irish 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's trying to tell you that she's not ready for another relationship right now, even if you are the cat's meow. Respect that. Give her breathing room. She has a very clear idea of what she's looking for in a relationship. IF she wants to be involved with you, she will let you know. In the meantime, find yourself something productive to do to occupy your time.
2007-01-03 23:03:08 · answer #3 · answered by nala 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she still has not gotten over the past relationship, give her space, do not crowd or push her into what your needs are at this time.
She is probably very insecure and will need plenty of time to get over it, and probably scared that it will happen again.
just keep reassuring her that you are there for her, and love her, don't ever say or act like the ex. and don't bring him up in conversations. AND DO NOT BECOME FRIENDS WITH THE EX *** HOLE. GOOD LUCK
2007-01-03 22:59:02 · answer #4 · answered by SAM 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont try to push anything on her right away, i think that slowly showing her that your different and you mean no harm, then maybe she will slowly let down her guard. Do nice things for her, make her feel that your really into her and you care alot!
2007-01-03 22:57:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only with time spent with her will she begin to trust you. Spend time doing things with her.
2007-01-03 22:56:58 · answer #6 · answered by Delta Charlie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if ur name is steven rizzo u dont need a grl
2007-01-03 22:57:42 · answer #7 · answered by ~emo~elf~ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just hang in there and don't pressure her. In time, she'll see.
2007-01-03 22:58:00 · answer #8 · answered by Sharyn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋