i wrote this for english..but yeah..i wanna know how other people think of it...good, bad...whatever you think about it..suggestions, i'm open for it...
Flowers all in bloom,
Soon they’ll meet their doom.
Winter is coming,
Harsh winds will be blowing.
Spring is over
Autumn is here
During the month of October
Rustling winds you’ll hear
See the leaves falling down
Colorful leaves of yellow, red, and brown
Falling gently to the ground
Falling gently without a sound
2007-01-03 14:06:16 · 7 answers · asked by gek_meisje05 2 in Education & Reference ➔ Other - Education
vallygirl, thanks for that suggestion! i read through it again..and yeah...haha...it is choppy...=) thanks again!
2007-01-03 14:10:28 · update #1
gravity_wow, you really criticized my paper!!! thanks!!! i know i can't wirte that well, so your criticism helps! =D
2007-01-03 14:13:26 · update #2
thanks for the people who replied to me...and gave me their opinion about it..really helped! =)
2007-01-05 02:14:22 · update #3
its totally garbage...............LoL, just playing!! Its pretty good, understandable and remember unless this is for homwork that requires you to follow a rhyme scheme, you really don't need to follow any rhyme pattern when it comes to real poetry in the "real world" which makes the writer unique. Good Job!
2007-01-04 09:38:46 · answer #1 · answered by Secret Service But I Got My Own SK 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm not really following your rhyme scheme and the stress pattern isn't consistent and doesn't flow smoothly. You might try make the end-of-line rhyme fall in the middle of a sentence so it doesn't sound so forced--the end of the line doesn't have the be the end of the sentence!
The last two lines are *perfect*. They actually sound like first lines to me...
Overall, pretty good imagery and sensory details.
2007-01-03 22:11:48 · answer #2 · answered by xgravity23 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Sounds Cool!
2007-01-03 22:11:00 · answer #3 · answered by A.S.I. - 7 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋
im just curious r u writing abt winter or atumn because u make a sudden transition so mabye a smoother transitioon if u are but yea its really nice just simple enough to make it sound elegant i guess
2007-01-03 22:12:58 · answer #4 · answered by SOPHIE p 1 · 0⤊ 3⤋
good..but "during" seems a little choppy...maybe rethink that stanza.
2007-01-03 22:08:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
it totally rocks!
2007-01-03 22:13:23 · answer #6 · answered by kemchan2 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I liked it...better than I could do....lol
2007-01-03 22:21:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋