my husband and i are taking care of his cousin which we have trouble guiding. should we let him go back to his mom?
2007-01-03 13:59:07 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
my husband & i are young parents we are just in our 20's and we are taking care of his teenager cousin which we have a hard time guiding. do u think its best for him to go back to his mother?
2007-01-03 14:04:55 · update #1
is it wrong for me to feel that he should be better off with his mom?for me, i feel as if im not ready to raise a teenager, i have a 2yr old and 8month old. i understand that my husband wants to help him out, the only thing is i feel as if he doesnt want to be scolled or have those rules that needs to be set for him. what should i do?
2007-01-03 14:10:51 · update #2
my problem is how it will be when my husband gets deployed this month and i will be the one who will watch over him? im afraid what will happen.im thinking sending him back home cause for me i think he needs a mother and i don't think i can be his mother.i tried to guide him its just too hard for me to handle
2007-01-03 14:24:06 · update #3
Well personally I think you should let him go home.
2007-01-03 14:00:53 · answer #1 · answered by maggotier 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
YES!
I have 3 teenage sons 13, 15 and 17.
In the first place, I would never send them to a relatives home to be raised!
In the second place, I have had nephews and nieces stay over that appalled me in their actions and I have told my (respective) brothers and sister so!
If the Mom is abusive contact Child Protection Services and let them know you can not take care of the child!
2007-01-03 22:08:19 · answer #2 · answered by LN has3 zjc 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really depends, why is he staying with you in the first place, bad situation at his home? If not, then yes I would send him back home to his parents, sometimes a parent are the only ones that can get through to a troubled teen. And sometimes it can take help from outside of the family like a therapist, it just depends on what kinds of problems the kid is having.
2007-01-03 22:04:54 · answer #3 · answered by shannon h 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down with the youngster and his parent(s) and state what the groundrules are and will be.
If the parent is not willing to back you on these regulations, return the youngster home.
If the parent agrees, then the child must realize that this is what the homelife will be like.
All teenagers will try to rock the boat from time to time but you must realize that there has been adaption for this child also.
If this has continued for more than six months may wish to talk with parent about placing in inhouse facility until understands there must be rules where-ever you are.
Best wishes! to you ALL!!!
2007-01-03 22:03:31 · answer #4 · answered by Marsha 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to say...not sure what the sitution is like with his mom, is she the cause of his actions? If you send him back, he could end up sufferring from abandonment issues. I would sugest you contact his mother, and you ALL talk to him together about his options. If his problems are related to drugs and/ or other controled substances, and possible clinical behavior issues such as attention def, have the conversation with him, his mom, AND a threaptist or family counselor....if there are no obvious problems such as drugs etc, you still may want to seek family counseling............and not to interfere too much, but if it's effecting your marriage, your Kids, and your home.....then you need to have that painful conversation with you husband about finding OTHER living arrangements outside of your home for the child.
2007-01-03 22:07:33 · answer #5 · answered by rodes27 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he doesn't want to follow rules when your husband is there what is going to happen when he is deployed you have enough problems coming with military pay and 2 young children and don't need a teenager who won't listen GOOD LUCK and THANK your Husband for me. May GOD keep your Soldier safe and watch over you and your Children in his absence
2007-01-03 23:47:47 · answer #6 · answered by Jack C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's not open to taking direction from you two, then he should go back IMO. That's too much tension for a young family. Sit him down and have a heart to heart. But the real problem here is a disconnect between you and your husband.
2007-01-03 22:20:44 · answer #7 · answered by The Scorpion 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If that is what he and his mom want. If you think he is endangered living with his mom, you need to report that to the authorities. We really don't have enough details to make even an educated. Like how long has he been with you? Why is he with you? Is he 13 or is he 17? Why does he want to leave? ????
2007-01-03 22:04:17 · answer #8 · answered by lollipop 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That depends on many factors. First if you just want to get rid of him then send him home. There must be a reason you have him in your house so will sending him back help him or just make it worse? Do his parents want him?
That is just for starters so think about what you want and what he wants and what ....as I said it is just a start.
Advice is cheap and plentyful and mostly not worth listening to.
2007-01-03 22:10:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i think you should just crack down on him and start taking the thing he likes the most away for example cell phone video games TV extracurricular activities and after a while he will get the point and obey you
2007-01-03 22:02:47 · answer #10 · answered by matt p 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋