I am going through a very rough time in my life right now, and for the first time in my life I really need to hear compliments from my fiance. When we talk about this, and upset I am, he just says he doesn't think that he should have to compliment me and when I bring it up then he says it would just sound forced. The other night we went out, and I started to get upset and he said don't start crying, I'm trying to have a good time. That just really hurt my feelings, b/c I dont get upset like that very often, and I think he should be more supportive. Is this how all guys act?
2007-01-03 13:55:46 · 33 answers · asked by christina 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
All guys are not insensitive..but most of the time they don't know how to give a girl comfort through words. Men process emotions differently than females. they use less words than women do on a minute to minute day to day basis. it sounds like your fiance was trying to fix the problem with out being fully compassionate or understanding not only what you were feeling but the fear that caused you to get emotional...i 'm going to tell you a little secret :----YOU need to work on your stuff independent of him...what does this mean ? have a support system of women & girldfreinds--- go to counseling for yourself get guidance from an expert it doesn't have to become long term therapy...but a means to gain further indepth knowlege of the issues that couples face..that challenge you as an individual. READ lots of books...knowledge is power... any bookstore has a plethora of self help books on self esteem issues, building communication skills..etc..etc..etc...you can do it. try to remember this---- its a fact that your fiance is probably doing the best he canin trying to comfort you. he will not out shine you as a communicator ever because he is man you are WOMAN -- he lacks the chromosone that gives us women enhanced skill & ability..in verbal abilites-- period ...scientific fact !.he'll be stronger than you in other regards and hopefully you'll balance each other out...take control...... you do your home work & once you get some skills and knowledge under your belt you won't relive uncomfrotable situations reoccurring as the one you mentioned above in your question...i wish you the best of luck I you can do it !. go for it !!!
2007-01-03 14:12:31 · answer #1 · answered by Brains & Beauty 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How long has this rough time gone on? No, not all guys are insensitive but they also can get impatient. There IS something that very much bothers me about your explanation. It is quite unhealthy emotionally for you to depend on another person, be it fiancee, bf, friend, or family, to make you feel better. As a matter of fact, most counselors will tell you that a compliment is, at best, a short term "fix" for depression or bad feelings about yourself or your situation. So, in a way, your guy is right--he CAN'T fix your bad feelings with a thousand compliments.
2007-01-03 14:02:50 · answer #2 · answered by DelK 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, I guess that depends if this behavior is new. If it is, I would say he's fine. If this is normal, then I would say he's an insensitive jerk. I have gone with both ends of the spectrum and no, not all guys act like this. Some are actually sensitive...really!
2007-01-03 14:06:54 · answer #3 · answered by Jay Jay 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, this is not how all guys act.....just most guys. Even thought it is very hard to find the nice, sensitive guys I do believe that they are out there somewhere. Most men are too caught up in themselves and their macho ego to be sensitive to our needs and feelings when it comes to emotions and they think it makes them less of a man.
2007-01-03 14:02:58 · answer #4 · answered by angeleyes1981_25 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is he an Aries? I kinda get it; I wish my boyfriend would be more comforting or just get that I need certain actions when I'm goin through ****. He's a strong man and a "soldier" so I guess he's not good at it. I think they either are or aren't like that. We just gotta take 'em or leave 'em.
2007-01-03 14:00:51 · answer #5 · answered by jobs1012003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, they don't all act like that. If you're going through a rough time, he should be helpful. But you shouldn't rely on him to give you compliments to build you up...you need to find that within.
2007-01-03 13:58:50 · answer #6 · answered by Kiss My Shaz 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Why is it when a guy or girl gets upset at ONE person, they tend to automatically accuse or ask if ALL guys or girls are that way? *rolls eyes*
SURELY you are more intelligent than that...if you want to get mad at your dude, get mad at him...but don't go thinking all 3+ billion guys on the planet are insensitive just because he is.
Are all women sl*ts or biotches, simply because some are that way toward their boyfriends or husbands? Of course not.
If you are upset with your guy talk to him...don't take it out on all guys...
2007-01-03 13:59:27 · answer #7 · answered by . 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
He does have a point. If he is complimenting you just because you want him to then it is going to be fake and forced. Compliments and stuff like that should come from the heart and her or she should mean it.
2007-01-03 13:59:06 · answer #8 · answered by Jason 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
NO, some of us actually have respect for our opposite gender. But, we are constantly reminded that nice guys finish last, so some nice guys might act insensitve thinking this is what a woman wants. Tell him your feelings and what you want from him. If he cares, he will adjust to your needs.
2007-01-03 14:02:23 · answer #9 · answered by applebyaj 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, dont stereotype all guys just because theirs a cupple thorns in a rose bush, actually i ahve been real real sensitive lately to (I think im about to start my period). and i called my mother todays and she like flipped on me, mind you, we dont have a close relationship to begin with. I started crying and my boyfriend was like "baby you ok" "talk to me" "tell me whats wrong" so the answer is NO! maybe you are just to good for him. Sorry....
2007-01-03 14:02:17 · answer #10 · answered by Amanda 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋