no one has ever answered this question but after some experimentation, I have come up with a few simple solutions.
Fortunately I have figured out a way to squeeze my buttocks together so that ACOUSTICLY, you just don't hear any of my farts. Unfortunately, the SMELL is what ultimately gives the "silent but deadly" ones away.
Basically, if I fart in a crowded area, I wait to find out if it stinks or not... if it doesn't stink IT NEVER HAPPENED.
IF IT DOES STINK:
#1 is it proper to walk away from "ground zero" as quickly as possible and then strike up a conversation with someone - pretending the event never happened?
After about 10 seconds, depending on fart intensity, the smell will be detected but only in rare circumstances (such as a beef dinner) will the fart intensity be a 10 ( on a scale from 1 -10).
the only problem with walking away to a new area is that sometimes the smell "follows" you, or, worse you might fart again - and again even giving yourself away.
2007-01-03 13:55:03 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
#2 If the Fart is truly intense ( 8, 9 or 10 on the adjusted fart scale) - should you just ignore the smell while everyone else runs?
#3 If your Fart makes a small *crack* sound, should you pretend you dropped something or reach into your wallet as if its your phone - pretending it broke?
#4 When you have diahrea and end up on the toilet REPEATEDLY with seriously bad flatulence, how would you deal with having to go to work?
#5 What should you do if your in a tight spot like an Elevator? We see this played out on commercials over and over again with no real solution.
2007-01-03 13:56:17 · update #1
WHY DOES EVERYONE BEAT AROUND THE BUSH? JUST DO THE MOST COMMON SENSE THING OF ALL.....TURN UP A RADIO/TV/ETC. SO THE NOISE COVERS THE SMELL....DUH
2007-01-03 16:20:27 · answer #1 · answered by nfsupahs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It'd be nice if we all lightened up, then we'd all be used to the smell by now : ) Other than that, in today's Society, it is considered polite and respectful to not fart in an others personal space. It's just how it works right now. My opinion is that it is just a natural occurrence of the body, and since when did holding flatulence in feel pleasant? Im not really sure what I would want though, us to lighten up, or us to just keep doing it the way we are. It's a humoring question, but a good one at that. Bravo.
2016-03-29 06:42:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest the direct approach.
When you feel a large fart making it's way downward and you know you will never be able exit from the crowd in time, simply go with it; bend over slightly, spread your knees and push it out with as much volume as possible. Follow it up with a gratifying "aaahhhh". Admittedly most people will be horrified but the ones who 'get it' will howl with laughter. If it is also a very rancid fart you may even make someone barf!
Hey, what's worse...trying to pretend you didn't do it when everyone really knows you did or blasting one out for the pleasure of your future fans?
2007-01-03 16:23:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I usually just look around irritated, like IM the one who just walked accidentally into somebody elses Ground Zero....
Reminds me of a story I want to share with you about a guy who could fart all day, and not make a sound, and even more amazing
his farts did not smell! Then he got a really bad case of gas, which made his stomach hurt, but still he was able to fart, all day without making a sound, or creating a bad smell. Finally when he went to the doctor, he explained the entire situation to his doctor, who replied to the patient: "Ok, Mr. Jones, here is what were going to do...first were going to get your hearing checked, and then were going to check your nose"
2007-01-03 14:42:19 · answer #4 · answered by John P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Fart and dart" as I like to refer to it. If the smell seems to be following you, walk in a brisk zig zag type fashion to help "destink" the affected area.
2007-01-03 14:43:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be proud to fart! Especially if you rip a rotten egger! Just let everybody know it was you and enjoy your own brand. Only girls are embarrassed by their farts.
2007-01-03 15:15:58 · answer #6 · answered by NONAME 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get the Toot Tone!
http://www.wewin.com/Roberts-Toot-Tone.aspx
2007-01-07 13:23:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey sometimes it is hard to hold one back. But what will you do if you try to walk away and you have the "walking farts?"
2007-01-03 16:00:53 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes you just gotta let go. In an elevator, loudly offer ten bucks to the first person who can guess what you ate.
2007-01-03 14:14:58 · answer #9 · answered by bumppo 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you really gotta do it~ try to make it as quiet as possible, and if it smells... start looking at others with disgust as if it was their doing.
2007-01-03 15:26:03 · answer #10 · answered by mightyquinn317 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋