My boyfriend is atheist and I am catholic. We have been together 3 years and have discussed our religious differences and how we will raise children and handle other matters in the future. It is important for me to be married in the catholic church but I don’t know how feasible it will be when he doesn’t believe in anything. Anyone have any suggestions?
2007-01-03 13:52:51 · 7 answers · asked by Julz 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I am a catholic, and my husband of 15 years is, depending on his mood, either agnostic or atheist. We have 2 kids, that I (primarily) am raising catholic. We were married in a catholic ceremony by our college campus minister.
It can work, but it means sacrifice from both of you. And the wedding is only the beginning. My husband and I still are often frustrated with the other's inability to see the clear superiority of our own beliefs.
I recommend getting the book or pamphlet from your local diocese that outlines what the local church requires for marriage prep -- and maybe pick one up for baptismal preparation, while you're at it -- .and looking at what the catholic ritual is. See how your partner feels about investing the time and energy necessary to have a catholic wedding, and in raising catholic kids.
I would suggest considering some of these questions:
1. Is he willing to stand up in front of you, and presumably all your family and friends, and make promises in the name of a god he doesn't believe exists? And to raise children in a church to which he does not belong?
2. If he is -- will the ritual have sufficient meaning for you if you know your spouse doesn't mean everything he is saying? Will you be content to practice your faith alone?
3. Do each of you have enough ability to question your own beliefs, and enough self-knowledge and self-confidence, to stand up for what you believe in, to accept honest and fair criticism about the failings of your viewpoint, and to respect the others belief, in the context of a marriage?
I was convinced 15 years ago -- and remained convinced today -- that I chose the absolutely right spouse for me, and his belief that there is no God is an integral part of who he is. While there are times when I would prefer having a more church-centered home and family life, I have to say that I would be deeply disturbed if he suddenly announced that he was converting, and would have a sense of loss for the man he is now.
He, for his part, knows that I am a happier and more peaceful human when I am involved in church life, and so he continues to support my participation. We present a united front to the kids when they wail about church attendance, for the time being, and will revisit this policy as the girls mature and are ready to make their own decisions about faith.
If you are as convinced as we were/are that you are right for each other, not in spite of your differences but because of them, a catholic/atheist wedding is definitely feasible.
Good luck
2007-01-03 14:36:17 · answer #1 · answered by dijwelch 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some Catholic churches will marry non catholics to catholics, but the couple must attend classes, promise to raise children in the Catholic Faith, and sometimes the Priest gives old fashioned adivce like "Sex is for procreation only". You may have a hard time if you let it be know that the young man is Atheist. Also its not the best idea to start your new life together with a ceremony that only means something to you. This ceremony is for him too! You may want to look at a non-denominational ceremony, or have a close friend officate (not hard to get the credientails to officiate- look online) and construct your own ceremony.
2007-01-03 14:02:31 · answer #2 · answered by escapeinthepalms 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but this doesn't sound like a good idea, because faith affects every part of your life, how you handle things in your marriage, and how children will be raised. If he is to get married in the Catholic church, he has to agree to raise the children Catholic - how is that going to work? I don't know how he will get through the pre-marriage counselling and all the religious information.... sometimes love isn't enough for a whole life together, you need to have moral and values that are compatible.
2007-01-04 00:45:48 · answer #3 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My sister is Catholic and she married a Lutheran. The Catholic church (at least according to our parish) will marry any couple as long as one of them is Catholic, but it won't be a full traditional Catholic ceremony with eucharist and all that. It will just be an exchange of vows in front of a priest.
2007-01-03 14:02:32 · answer #4 · answered by katskradle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I’m pretty sure if you marry in the Catholic church if your spouse isn’t Catholic that you have to agree to raise any children you have as Catholic. Good Luck
2007-01-03 14:39:07 · answer #5 · answered by Spread Peace and Love 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should mutually respect each other's beliefs. Just because he's an athiest doesn't mean you cannot marry and just because you're catholic doesn't mean that either. Go and get married already!!!!!
2007-01-03 14:03:40 · answer #6 · answered by Sven B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Turn to Jesus, only in him is salvation.
2007-01-03 14:00:04 · answer #7 · answered by Siervocal 3 · 3⤊ 3⤋