my girlfriend likes polygamy?

Question

i love her but my heart hurts because of this

Answer 1

I would find a gf who wants to be committed to you and ONLY you. I don't agree with polygamy - no matter how much fun it is to fantasize about - multiple husbands - all to help with the work around the house lol - but you deserve someone who wants ONLY you..... Good luck :)

Answer 2

Polyamory and other poly relationships can be very difficult to accept. Poly relationships are usually best suited to people who are exceptionally open-minded and who do not experience jealousy. Lovers and other partners need to be very close, and very honest with each other, if a poly relationship is to work.

First, don't panic. If your girlfriend wants other lovers, it isn't necessarily intended to be insulting. Some people -- women, especially -- like the feeling of being in love, and so polyamory is something they might press for. It's possible that your girlfriend simply enjoys sex; this doesn't automatically make her a nymphomaniac, or a whore. Perhaps she likes new experiences, or wants to be with other people so that your time together is more precious to her.

There is also the possibility that she is insecure, and needs attention from multiple men in order to feel more confident in herself. Some women claim to have affairs because their husbands weren't attentive enough. Different women have different needs in this regard.

Take some very, very deep breaths, and then do some research. Start here: http://www.xeromag.com/fvmonopoly.html and then do a Google search for "poly relationship" and you will find a wealth of resources for dealing with the shock, and also some very good articles about successfully maintaining this type of relationship.

Above all, TALK to your girlfriend. Find out exactly why she wants to be polygamous. Always, always be as honest as you can with her. It can take a long time to build the kind of trust that's required to have a successful poly relationship, but it is possible... if it's something you want to consider.

Don't forget to take your own feelings into account. Hide for a few days -- tell your girlfriend that you need some time alone to process this new information and see if you can accept it. It's not everyone's 'thing', and you needn't feel obligated to give in, especially if it's something that makes your heart ache.

Hang in there. I've been on both sides of that coin, and neither side is very easy. ♥

Answer 3

Hi, yes it sure hurts a lot especially when you are not into it. With due respect to your loving her, which I'm sure you do, one piece of news (not advice) to share is if you are not into it (spiritual reasons, possessive or just being normal), trust me that she will leave you and it's for the better. You will find someone else out there who shares same values with you. On the other hand, if you wanna give it a shot and enter this lifestyle, be sure to make known that it works both ways. And once you get the hang of this, do note that anything can happen in the future, both of you might still leave each other. In the meantime, I would suggest the best thing to do at the moment is invest lots of time in yourself, away from her for now, and organize your wishes and priorities, taking stongly into account the realities in the longer term. Just My Humble Opinion, cheers!!!

Answer 4

That would hurt me too if my partner liked polygamy...but perhaps she feels like that because she has yet to meet someone who makes her feel like she does not need anything else from another source,...and maybe you could be the first to do this! Work together, be there for eachother and explain your thoughts on the matter. If she really cares for you, she will acknowledge your concern and at least try to change. If she doesn't, then perhaps it is not meant to be...because that is a pretty big issue

Answer 5

If your not on the same page then it is probably time to end this relationship as your heart will continue to get hurt because of it. It is a life choice that some people make (and I am not judging this) but if both parties aren't in agreement it will cause lots of arguments and fights eventually. Close this chapter of your life and move on to a relationship that you feel more comfortable in. Best of luck.

Answer 6

My understanding of polygamy is that this enables YOU to have many wives, but SHE only has one husband. On surface it sounds fun for you in bed, but can you imagine the nagging and cackling from the group of wives? Perhaps you mean she believes in polyandry?

Answer 7

honestly, my friend's girl is like that too. (no comment) you have the advantage of knowing that & being able to back out before you get hurt worse. Dog, if she makes your heart hurt & she don't care... leave her alone! besides you dont want a broken d**k to match your broken heart, FEEL ME!? good luck man

Answer 8

So she wants to marry you and she wants you to marry another woman and all live together and raise a family? Or dose she want to be a swinger? Respect what she wants yet you do not need to involve your self in any of this she also may be testing you eyes open for woman mind games

Answer 9

There is a slight possibilty she acts like that to impress you.
If she is for real, then she has low morals and is a slut. Try pulling the polygamy stunt on her and see how she reacts.

Answer 10

Didn't you know this before you fell for her? If so, they why did you stick around?

If you don't like that about her, then y'all aren't a good match...that's a pretty big issue and you should probably part now before you end up getting hurt worse (and her too).