well my boyfriend is living in another state and wants me to go live with him and i told him maybe im not sure but he told me if i dont go by his birthday he would find another girl over there but supposely he told me that he cant find another girl cuz he loves me. what should i do?
2007-01-03 13:36:56 · 38 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You both sound immature, you should break up and date for a while before entering in a serious relationship.
2007-01-03 13:40:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he can find another girl that quick, he doesn't love u anyway!
What kind of man gives a woman an ultimatum? That's the woman's job.
Bottom line he is testing you to see how far he can take you. If he's trying to order you around now and put other women before you. Just think of how much power Ur going to be giving him if you decide to move out of town with him. You are goin to appear to be weak and desperate to him if you make that decision!
So be a real woman, stand up for yourself, and tell him, "Two can play that game. If ur lookin' for a new love, then I can too!'
In other words, STAY HOME
Good luck girl!
2007-01-03 13:56:39 · answer #2 · answered by dwan j 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The truth of the matter is that long distance relationships don't work. Your boyfriend recognizes this and instead of trying to keep a dying relationship afloat he wants you to come live with him and try to save it.
I know you are upset that he said he would find someone else if you don't come down there. You think its manipulative. I think you should be glad he is being honest.
Most guys wouldn't tell you up front like this. They would just break up with you or cheat on you (you aren't there to catch him) then break up with you later. He seems to love you too much to do that so he has made this ultimatum.
What you need to do is think long and hard about you and his relationship. If you don't want to be really with him you need to let him know, then let him go. But if you feel that this is the man you want to be with for the rest of your life, the man you want to have children with someday don't let your fear of the unknown drive him away.
Nobody can make this choice for you but you. Think long and hard and you'll make the right choice for you.
2007-01-03 13:53:25 · answer #3 · answered by WriterChic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he really loved you he'd give u time to make ur decision, and he wouldnt give u a date.But i think that he's probraly talking to other girls up there already its just a guys nature. But i wouldnt move to another state with a guy that tells me he'll find another girl if i dont go. Why did he move in the first place? How did u guys meet? I need more details, but remember if a guy loves u nothing can make him leave but if he doesnt love u nothing can make him stay! There are plenty of guys out there dont waste ur time on one! (i wouldnt move away from my family if i were u)
2007-01-03 13:43:10 · answer #4 · answered by LC 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he loves you then he would let you make up your mind in your own time. He wouldn't be threatening to dump you if he loved you and wanted you to move in with him. Something isn't right with what all he is saying to you. I would flat out ask him to wait for you or ask him why he would say things like that when he loves you and knows that it hurts you. If he hasn't got a good reason for either question then i would consider letting him go find another girl.
2007-01-03 13:42:54 · answer #5 · answered by *Scandinavian Sweetheart* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest not caving in to pressure from him if you are not sure in your heart that moving and living with him are what you really want. You should stop and ask yourself "why am I hesitating?" If it was true love I imagine you would gladly go to him, however if you have doubts, then there might very well be underlying issues to look closely at. If he does really truly love you, he will be patient and listen to your fears and concerns. He willing be work out a compromise. And if he can't wait and does jump right to someone else, he wasn't really the man you thought he was... right?
2007-01-03 13:41:26 · answer #6 · answered by Kathy Chance 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he really loves you he shouldn't give you a deadline and then threaten you with finding another girl!! The fact that he said something like that tells a little about his character. Sounds like a bad move and insensitivity.
2007-01-03 13:39:40 · answer #7 · answered by jobs1012003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This depends on your age,how long you've known this fellow and how well you trust him.It also depends on whether you have a good job where your at now and how hard it will be for you to relocate.It's a tough decision and you need to weigh all the facts and try and get a gut feeling for what is the right thing to do.Good luck to you!
2007-01-03 13:45:49 · answer #8 · answered by sasyone 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to kiss your **** and not threaten you like that. Sounds like you may be in store for an abusive controlling relationship with this fella. Show him you have a backbone and tell him that if he wants to find someone else that is his choice. There must be numerous males that would treat you better and not threaten to leave you if you don't do as they want. Best of luck.
2007-01-03 13:40:40 · answer #9 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to do what you see fit. If he loved you then he wouldn't give you those kind of terms. That just makes him an asshole. Honey no worries. If he finds another girl then he's just not the kind of man you need anyway. Be stronger than the man.
2007-01-03 13:38:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, first how long till his bday? Second, how long has he been there, and how long has he been asking? Long distance relationships are very hard, I know from personal experience, and after awhile you start to get a little insecure and wonder what he's doing all the time. Follow your heart.
2007-01-03 13:44:48 · answer #11 · answered by christina 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋