Am 26 with two kids from my previous relationship. They are taken care of from their dad we are seperated now from 2004. I met this new guy in March 2006 we clicked automated. He is 35 with no kids, he is great financially,emotionally, he is soo sweet and considerate. We haved talked about our future and plan to marry. He helps me with any and everything I need or want regardless. My kids love him; but naturally he wants his own. He deserves a kid he is a almost perfect man and old fashion guy that believes in family,home and his job to take care of them what should I do ? I want to make him happy
2007-01-03 13:20:45 · 21 answers · asked by Kingteenunu 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sounds like a great guy, but a child is too serious of a commitment to make just 10 mos. into a relationship. Ya'll gotta look way ahead and throw pros against cons. Of course you feel (now) that you'll get married and always be together, but you do have to do the whole reality check thing too for the long haul
2007-01-03 13:27:21 · answer #1 · answered by jobs1012003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a nice guy. But, if you are hesitant, then don't rush into anything. It's perfectly natural to hesitate after having a failed relationship/marriage. Ten months is a little too soon, anyway. I would slow down a little and hope he understands.
I can understand why he wants his own child. But, do you want a third child? They are a big responsibility as you already know. And if the parents separate, the kids also have to deal with that as you already know.
Also, I would prefer to hear the words, " I do" before "push".
2007-01-03 21:26:39 · answer #2 · answered by honiebyrd 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, realize you cannot "make" anyone anything (happy, sad, mad, etc). It's up to them to choose how to feel and each of us is responsible for our own happiness.
If you want a child with this man, have one...but have it because YOU want another child...not as some gift to him to "make him happy". You have 2 now and aren't with their father...you also realize this relationship could end and so then you'd be a single mother of 3.
NEVER have a kid for someone else...have them because you want (more) children and you think the person you are considering doing that with would be a positive partner for that.
If you don't desire more kids, then be honest about it. He'll have to decide for himself if that's a dealbreaker or not.
2007-01-03 21:25:42 · answer #3 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk is nice and I'm not saying that you guys wont get married but I would wait until we do. 10 months ain't that long of a time to be with someone. Now don't get me wrong people have kids with someone they slept with on the first night or a one night stand everyday but that wasn't planned. If you are gonna plan to have kids plan to get married first. He honestly sounds like a great guy good luck!
2007-01-03 21:25:40 · answer #4 · answered by Ms. Lise 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As you already know having a kid is a huge responsibility and it sounds like your doing a great job with your other two. You should never have a kid to make someone else happy. You should have a kid if you two want it not just him.
2007-01-03 21:24:41 · answer #5 · answered by Jason 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he is "old fashioned", as you say, then I would think that he would want to be married to you before you have a child of his. If you don't marry him and something happens to your relationship with him, then you will have 3 children to take care of on your own financially. I hate to burst your bubble, but get it legalized, before you commit!! Protect YOUR future happiness and the future of possibly another innocent life!
2007-01-03 21:29:44 · answer #6 · answered by Andi V 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do anything you are not ready for dear. You can tell him that it's possible you will want kids with him down the road if you guys get married, but are not ready to have kids at this point in time. I guess this depends on whether you just don't want kids now or don't want more kids period. It's best to just be honest with him and with yourself.
2007-01-03 21:26:52 · answer #7 · answered by Kat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think I would give it a bit more time and get married first personally just to make sure he is really everything he seems to be. 10 months isnt that long really to base such a decision on I dont feel especially if you arent married..that should be his first commitment in the matter.
2007-01-03 21:36:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you can tell if you are ready. I would wait until you marry, just to have more time to really make sure that this is the right man. Good luck and happy new year.
2007-01-03 21:26:06 · answer #9 · answered by Tess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait until your married. Then think about how a child would affect you now. Maybe he could adopt your two children?
2007-01-03 21:39:53 · answer #10 · answered by Angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋