My finance is in this get without giving mode. And if I withhold and say, "me first" he gives a half-a$$ effort kind of like a hurry up and get it over thing so he can have some, or if I say, "nah, I don't feel like it, or no" he thinks its because i'm mad at him or something's wrong. I treat him real good, and am particularly good at things. You think he would try to show some appreciation. How do I effectively handle this? Or what is he thinking?
2007-01-03 13:18:04 · 11 answers · asked by Amanda 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I have explained my feelings and he says he'll do more. It happens for a little while..and slowly goes downhill from there. He loves me, I guess I just spoil him.
2007-01-03 13:22:58 · update #1
Wow, this is a tough one! Good romance is always a challenge and it gets harder with kids,work schedules etc. You've really got to get this straightened out now, cause it will get worse not better. If you're in an urban area, start looking for a sex surrogate, a couples weekend with romance training....something. I think what you need to figure out is....does your fiance need some training and guidance or does he have a selfishness issue that's coming to light. You need to understand which it is before you make complete your life decision with this man. If you are already frustrated, imagine 20 years! Good Luck.
2007-01-03 13:35:01 · answer #1 · answered by Jim N 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is supposed to be 110% on both sides and if you are willing to give more than you get then if the other half will get lazy or spoiled so give as much as you get and if he says anything remind him that it is a 2 way road there are always guys out there that are willing to give at least as good as they get
2007-01-03 21:30:55 · answer #2 · answered by Jack C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you have made the committment to marry this man, you need to learn how to properly communicate. If subtle hints don't work, you need to be blunt about it. Tell him that you're not getting enough. Hopefully this will influence him to even things out. Good luck, 'cause being married to a selfish shagger would suck. ):
2007-01-03 21:23:12 · answer #3 · answered by Tess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1word communication maybe its something he is not confortable with but if you guys are planing on marriage you need to talk
2007-01-03 21:30:51 · answer #4 · answered by donald k 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats sounds wrong to me. ive had the same problem with chicks they all want it but never want to give it. i just say "give and get got.....or get none at all". as nice as possible........of course..........!
2007-01-03 21:34:40 · answer #5 · answered by rhisklee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it`s about love first ;marriage; then sex follows in a good patern
2007-01-03 21:23:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
exactly. hes selfish.
straights up tell him that ur not gunna give good anything unless he does the same for you..........seriously.
2007-01-03 21:21:44 · answer #7 · answered by luv2dance 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's just selfish and that will never change....period.
2007-01-03 21:20:20 · answer #8 · answered by Kayt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what a jerk!!!!!!!!!! my man always wants to make me happy he sounds like a total jerk why are you engaged to him again?
2007-01-03 21:22:08 · answer #9 · answered by ladij15 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
told him what you told us, that he needs to be better in bed
2007-01-03 21:20:44 · answer #10 · answered by rabdcow72 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋