My sons friend was just diagnosed with leukemia... what special thing should we do for her?

Question

They are only 6 years old and in first grade.
I have no idea how advanced or what the prognnosis is, but I want her to know that we care about her.
Any good ideas?

Just FYI, I am really appriciating all of the kind and thoughtful answers... I'm not giving any thumbs down...

Answer 1

I was diagnosed with leukemia at age five. I feel her pain; it is such a hard thing as a child to cope with. Here is some advice of what I felt at that age, what I wanted:

First of all, DO NOT:

-mention death unless she brings it up

-ask too many questions about the cancer. We usually DON'T like to talk about our illness unless we bring it up. So try to avoid bringing up the cancer. Be willing to discuss it if she brings it up, but don't drag it out. Talk about happier things: catch her up on what her friends are doing, talk about sports or barbies or whatever it is that she's into.

-talk ad nauseum about how everyone misses her. That only made me feel even more guilty and ashamed to be in the hospital. If she asks if you miss her, assure her that you do, but are happy that she is getting the help she needs at the hospital.

-say "oh you poor thing" or "I feel so sorry for you". There are ways to show sympathy without making her feel helpless and pitiful.

WHAT YOU CAN DO:

- bring coloring books and crayons. Being in the hospital (or stuck at home) is BORING as nobody's business. Give her something to keep her entertained.

-promise to do something special (take her out to lunch at Applebees, etc.) when she gets out of the hospital. (say WHEN, not IF.) We are told to have something to look forward to WHEN we get out of the hospital. That gives us motivation to keep going and keep fighting.

-have a sense of humor. Don't make cancer jokes, but don't be afraid to have a lighthearted spirit. It helps combat the "gloom and doom" atmosphere of the dreaded pediatric oncology ward.

-tell her how special she is and how much she is loved.

Answer 2

Blankets and fluffy stuffed animals are just the ticket for little girls. You can't have too many blankets that are soft and warm (childrens' hospitals give them away, but our favorite was a quilt with a velour backing). And, what can you say about stuffed animals - they are great to hug and a great comfort during treatments.

I spent many days in my sons room at the Children's Hospital. The blankets he got were always just the best to wrap up in and get all cozy.

Her family is probably in such shock right now. You should let them know that you are concerned and care. But there is not much else that you can do for any of them. You could send a card, or stop by for a short visit. You should understand though that this little girl may feel sick but she hasn't really changed . . she'll have the same personality . . and when she isn't being tired or ill she will need a friend to hang out with. She will want to play.

Take care.

Answer 3

Offer help to the parents, like raising money get the school involved. Its a hard road and even when you think your on top of things something else happens. When your kid has leukaemia (and i imagine any cancer) you have to live your life day to day. If they have other children, helping to care for them, cooking a meal. I didnt ask for help but I also didnt know who to ask either when my daughter was having treatment. I find now even though she is better, I am struggling with guilt for the times i had to leave her alone cause i didnt have a sitter for my other 2 kids. My house was such a mess after being away or 6 months, someone to clean for me before we came home would have been nice. Treatments for leukaemia are different depending on the type they have, the child may have to spend lots of time in hospital or just a little time. As for the child my daughter was 6 when diagnosed, people would come when she was first diagnosed and bring her gifts, she got very spoilt. But I found as time went on people wouldnt even call to see if she was ok. Hope the child gets through this, its not easy

Answer 4

my husband has leukemia and our friends were absolutly wonderful .my husband helped coach my 11 year old sons baseball team , both he and my son are inseperable so this was especially devastating to not have his biggest fan and best friend there at the ball games .well our friends at the ball field never let my husband miss a game .they videotaped all the games complete with well wishes from the boys and fans out on the bleachers , and my son and i would take it to the hospital and together they would watch the game .this made my husbands day and it kept them still so close and more importantly he never missed not one of his sons ball games . hes been in remission for 7 months now and still talks about how nice everyone was to him .this is our story maybe you can adapt it to your own liking for your sons friend ,some suggestions would be to videotape all her classmates and friends at school favorite teachers and lunchladies etc .my husband is 51 years old and he delighted in these tapes like a child .hope everything goes well im praying for you all

Answer 5

how about sending her a special stuffed animal that she can take to treatments. call her parents and let them know you are there if they need anything (only if you are able to really help. don't offer and then not follow through) Make a nice dinner and bring it over for them. Crock pot dinners are great. Take it over in the morning and they can have it for dinner that night. Get them Grocery store gift cards, money will most likely be tight for a while due to hospital bills. Offer Prayers and support.
Best of luck to you and this poor little girl.

Answer 6

Children with leukemia have to really be protected from germs, so before visiting make sure it's ok with the parents (for her safety). Anyhow, if she will be in the hospital take her things that she can do while in the hospital: coloring books, puzzles, movies. Because she will probably be very tired from treatments don't do anything that will cause over exersion. And explain to your little one what to expect from his friend. A phone call, card, and comfy pjs would be nice! Whatever you do she'll love it because it's coming from your heart! Just be there for her through the WHOLE thing...it's a long process and people tend to forget after the "inital shock" wears off & they;re often left alone & depressed. And most importantly PRAY FOR HER!
God bless, my prayers are with both families tonight! :)

Answer 7

just be there. thats the most meaningful and important thing in the world. my father in law has leukemia and making sure that there is always someone at his bedside so that he never has a lonely moment is really helping him to keep fighting, and he says that without this fantastic support he would have given up long ago.
fingers crossed that this little one pulls through x x x

Answer 8

I would give a card and some candy, flowers, or stuffed animals. Maybe bring in some movies to watch in the hospital room? Thats really sad, my aunt had an unrare disease that 1 in every 1000 gets, but she lived so keep your hopes up.

Answer 9

Have her parents contact Make-a-Wish. It is for kids with not only terminal illnesses but also for kids with serious illness. It also might help if the school could raise money for a wish. My Brownie troop researched and had a guest speaker from Make-a-Wish come and speak to them. We decided to make our service projects for that year child based...so we made dinner (for the families) at our local Ronald MacDonald house and sent money to Make-a-Wish. It was really great helping the kids in our own community. FYI girls in Brownies are 1st thru 3rd graders!!

Answer 10

Maybe asking her what she would like to do, maybe suggest a special outing. Bring over her favorite dinner, already prepared.
Take her and your son to make a ceramic or a special visit to the book store and allow her to pick out a favorite book.