My sister was molested by my boyfriend HELP!?

Question

Here is what happened:

I am 8 years older than my baby sister. In the Spring/Summer of 05 I was nearing the end of my relationship with my fiance at the time. He asked my mother to take my then 9 year old little sister to the park. This man was a "youth pastor", and actually went on probation in December 05 for an alleged rape of a 12 year old boy almost seven years ago.

I feel very guilty about the entire situation because as I see it none of it would have occured if it had not been for me. I too was molested as a child (5 years old) so I somewhat know what she is going through, however unlike my sister I told right away. She has kept this secret for so long.

I know the obviouis thing is to go to the Police, and I have every intention of doing so but what else can be done so that I won't blame myself, or am I justified in doing so. Also what needs to be done to help my poor sister.

Answer 1

first of all stop blaming yourself. And yes, by all means, go to the police. They have people who are trained to deal with situations like this. Get her some help quickly. then get some for yourself as well. This is a situation that you have lived with for a while and you need to get some counselling not only for the guilt you feel, but for what you went through as a child.
Do not wait.

Answer 2

Don't blame yourself. Talk to the police. If the police is not willing to listen to you, (most of the time they do listen and do something), then let me know so I can call the District Attorney'sOffice in your state. They will surely listen there.

In the mean time, write down all the events as they happened, that you can remember, both when your were molested and about your sisters case. You need to keep them in a safe place for later referrence. It sure will help the prosecutor to put that "youth pastor" where he belongs.

WOMEN SHOULD NEVER ACCEPT ANYTHING AGAINST THEIR WILL. CHILDREN MOLESTED CAN SUFFER SEVERE EMOTIONAL TRAUMAS TO LAST THEM FOR THEIR ENTIRE LIVES.

If we can be of help, let me know: [e-mail].

Answer 3

If you didn't know he was a child molester before he hurt your sister, there's no way you can blame yourself. It's all on him. The police need to be called and your sister needs counseling.

Answer 4

I agree with David, blaming yourself for what happened only magnifies the situation and makes it worse, and after all you weren't there or encouraged him to molest her. I think what is best for your sister is to get her into therapy as soon as possible. And please follow through and rat this scum out to the cops. You are very justified for doing so. You should consider threrapy for yourself as well dear. God bless and good luck.