What do I need?

Question

I felt no different after previous psychiatrist appointments, so I don't know if I need that kind of help. I feel like I want to hurt myself, and that I wish I wasn't here. I'm kinda still not really believing that I feel down, still, after first noticing how bad I felt about 3 years ago. I don't know if I've actually been happy during that time apart from the very odd occasion. Do people actually feel happy? I was happy getting exam results, after I'd swam with sharks/scuba dived, and also at New Year after a bit of alcohol and I wasn't being ignored for once (I felt I existed). I can't even smile properly, I feel as if I've totally forgotten, like the mask has broken, and I just look like a clown when I do now.

I've spoken online to various people who have been concerned, which I am grateful for, but I still feel lonely.
I no longer have my conscience trying to stop me thinking about suicide, or trying to recorrect the bad thoughts. I have lost motivation.

I don't really believe any of the good thoughts that the psychiatrist tried to make me believe - I think that was cognitive behaviour therapy. It seem all too fake and unreal to actually believe.

Answer 1

Don't worry. The medical proffesion has a one size fits all approach to mental health. Very frustrating, ( I know ) why do you feel like cutting yourself? does the pain make you feel alive? or is it a release of pressure?

Fuc!< trying to correct thoughts, think about why your having them, you've said that new year was cool an it wasn't personally directed at you, (the negativity in the world).

The Diving is the only thing that makes me feel connected with the world.

I came to the conclusion that happiness is this "ignorance is bliss" I can't switch off either dude, don't get how people can't care about the rest of the world an just live in a bubble.

So what are we gonna do? I have far to much scar tissue to do the whole cutting thing again, that's not the answer.

I think the answer envolves figuring out what questions are making us so unhappy.

You need a change of seen, thought about getting out of the bullshit an just diving for a bit?

Its a never ending battle dude, keep fighting everyday.
Everything is down to perception, if you can't stand what you see you need to look somewhere else.

If you wanna e-mail or fancy a dive sometime I'll link ya bruv.

Answer 2

i agree with stellaprincess. therapy wont work and you wont feel any better unless you start to be more proactive and use some of the help and advice you are being offered. i know it can be hard to get motivated and things may seem overwhelming but try to change things a little at a time. other people can only help, they cant run your life for you or take resposibility. there are times or things that have made you happy so try to think how you can continue these or try other activities. you mention you were happy when you didnt feel ignored why dont you talk to a counsellor about these feelings - why do you feel ignored? and your low self esteem etc.
a good website for lots of info on depression and other topics and ttherapies is the mind site at www.mind.org.uk
please take the help offered it can only be your choice.
good luck and take care.

Answer 3

I hope you don't give up yet, there's too much out there to live for if you find the right path. I'm sure you've tried several different medications by now, but not everyone responds well to them. Don't give up on Cognitive Therapy completely yet, there's a great book you can check out about it called "Feeling Good" by Dr. David Burns and there are lots of other great books out there that can help you find your own path. Instead of going to only Psychiatrists, try to find a good therapist or counselor as well. Although Psychiatrists are ok to talk to and very knowledgeable about medications, sometimes therapists or counselors are better to talk to and have more time for you. Good luck and please hang in there.

Answer 4

What you need is to start taking some of the advice we're all giving you and to stop continually asking the same question.
I'm sorry if I'm not as supportive as I had previously been but you keep asking the same question now.
Alot of people had answered your questions and have been worried about you, including myself but you still want more.
When will you actually take some of the advice that is being given to you. We cant make you get help, you have to get it for yourself.
So many of us have given you websites, shared our own experiences, even phone numbers and the offer to personally try and help you but still that is not enough for you.
I'm sorry for sounding so down on you but it really annoys me when people are being offered so much support and still that is not enough from them.
I wish I had had so much support when I was your age then maybe I wouldn't still be ill now.
You want some advice? Stop asking the same question and actually listen to what everyone is saying.
Get some help and continue to get help until you are better.
This isn't going to go away unless you do something about it.
I do know what you're going through and I do feel for you but you have to help yourself too.
Good luck

Answer 5

Tell your psychiatrist that you don't think therapy is working. Also, it may take seeing a couple of docs before you find the right one. Don't give up on seeking help from a professional. Also, check out my link below on depression. It may give you a little insight on what you're going through. You're not alone.

Answer 6

You aren't alone ok? What I tend to do is push myself, I'll see if I can do a hundred sit-ups (I once managed 155, but now I can barely do 50) or I stay at the computer doing every bit of college work I need, or I scrub things. Try it, it does help.
E-mail me ok? I'm not a shrink or anything but I can talk for England which should take your mind off things, I'm 18, I live in the South UK, if you want to chat please feel welcome to; [e-mail]

Answer 7

i am going to be having cognetic thought theropy soon. i have heard many people say it dosent work as well as they make out to and some things are unbelivable.
have you tried just talking to a couciller? i think that helps me from time to time.
i have the same problems as you, i know how you feel, if you want to talk about it more just e-mail me ok?
talking does help :)

Answer 8

You can't stop what's comming. If you think you are not in control of you future then just forget about it and enjoy every day of your life. Don't think too much but be happy with what you have.

Answer 9

i've had friends that feel this way too... but one thing you might wanna try is to find a gf/bf that cares and can cheer you up and stuff. find someone that can make you laugh, try to be social.

Answer 10

I think you should take ferris bob1 advise