How do I tell my parents?

Question

How do I tell my parents that I'm not happy with my half nephew living with us? Imean I never get any attention. And I never got any attention when he wasn't living with us. I made stuff up, I lied and I did horrible things just to get attention from my parents and the rest of my family. I know that they love me, but is their love worth my life? I was sexually assualted a year ago and the judge let the guy, who sexually assualted me, out of jail. That really took a toll on me. But yet it seems like my parents don't care about me or what I do. So what should I do? Please serious answers.






P.S- the only reason why my family took in my nephew was because he was going to get taken away from his mom because she can't get her lazy butt out of bed and go find a job. I'm a middle-schooler and it's hard on my life with everything going on at school and evrything going on at home.

Answer 1

Go talk to your school counciler.
See if you can tell your parents that you want to see a therapsit about family issues, home living arrangments, and the sexual assault.

it sounds to me like your parents are trying to compensate with the 1/2 nephew whom they think they can help......in order to avoid issues with YOU that they don't know what to do about.

YOUR parents are doing the best they know how, until they know better, they can't do better.

I would tell my parents, that I would like to see a therapist, and i would like them to be a part of it. That is not asking too much.

call 1/800/4ACHILD
THEY can help give you info in this area.
Also call the rape crisis line in your phone book, they are there 24 hours a day to talk to you. It's very helpful.

Stop lying to get attention.

BE HONEST AND BLUNT AND TELL YOUR PARENTS WHAT YOU NEED.

Say, I need you to be caring loving parents, and I'm feeling very left out of this family. WHAT CAN I DO TO HELP US BECOME CLOSER?

If you put it in "i" terms, I need help, WE need help.
they will respond better.

Be honest and truthful withhout acusing anyone!
They will listen, choose a time when you are not in the emotion.
Make a date with your parents, just the 3 of you.
Tell them you need them to listen, and you need to listen to them.
Tell them you love them, and miss them, and feel left out.
Tell them you need help that they aren't providing. ie therapy

im me for more resources...

Answer 2

Communication is the key to happiness. Sit your parents down and tell them exactly how you feel (I had to do that with my mom when I was about 15). If you don't say something, they're not going to change. They may think that everything is ok with you. Having your nephew there may be putting an extra burden on them. However, you are still their daughter, and they need to give you attention that you deserve without you doing negative things to get it.

In regards to the assault, I'm so, so sorry that that happen to you. I can't image how you feel knowing that that idiot who did that to you is walking the streets. The fact that your parents haven't discussed this with you boggles my mind.

If you find it too hard to talk to them, show them this posting. Hopefully, they'll get the hint and realize that there is a serious problem here.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Here's the thing - parents are people too, with their own obsessions, issues from childhood, fears etc. Kids don't realize that. Parents are supposed to be the protectors, the givers of love and affection. When they fail, they don't want to hear it...because it probably breaks their heart to think they failed.

Doing stuff to get attention...obviously isn't working...may I suggest a frank heart-to-heart-to-heart talk with both of them at the same time.

Be mature about it. Lay out your complaints:
1) I am not happy with XXXXXX living here because I feel you give him more attention
2) Even before he moved in, I feel like you didn't pay attention to me
3) I feel (fill in all the emotions you can think of: scared, empty, worried, abandoned)
4) How can I make you understand that I need you now more than ever?

It actually sounds like your half-nephew needs to stay there, but your parents need to up the ante on attention. Best luck...I'm sorry for the hardships you've endured!

Answer 4

i know how you feel about the not getting enough attention with you half nephew around. i have 4 brothers and 2 sisters. i''l be 16 and i feel like you do when it comes to not getting enough attention but even if you don't think they do your parents love more than anything. and if you need to talk about what happened with guy getting out of jail. go to your parents or friends and talk to them about it tell them how it made you feel. maybe your parents will listen to you more or starte understanding how you feel.

Answer 5

Look, he is your brother. You should be treating him like he is your blood, because he is. Hang out with him. Get to know him. Take him to the mini golf park and have a good time with him.
He is coming off a horrible situation. Put yourself in his shoes for a day. Imagine you are going to be taken from you home to a house of a bunch of strangers. That is his life. Realize it and give him a hug.

Answer 6

i would write them a letter spilling all of your feelings so you dont have to fight, just dont say anything bad about the nephew, only how u feel. Also, take a moment and think about how hard it is on him. he lost his mother, it may be more harder on him than you, thats why he needs more help and attention. also if you try to be nice to him and try to spend more time with him then maybe your parents will notice u more because u r WITH him. you may find he is not a bad little kid. you shoulddnt say bad things about the mother because this is EVEN HARDER ON HER TOO. i am sure it is not HER fault she cant find a job.

Answer 7

wow i'm really sorry that must suck. well, the only thing to do is just tell them! if you are too embarrassed or angry to approach them in person, then just write them a letter stating your position. they should immediately understand, all parents do. and about the sexually assaulting thing, just forget about it, you're obviously too good for him so just leave it, forgive him, (if you can, but Jesus always said fogive the sinners) and move on with your life. join some clubs in school, get your morale up so things at home aren't so bad. trust me, i have three brothers. school is like the only escape i have lol good luck

Answer 8

first of all you are being selfish. your parents are doing whats right. how would you feel if you were in your nephews position? but you are a child yourself so i wont be too hard on you. you have to tell your parents how you feel. you should also go into counseling seeing that you were sexually assaulted. i'm very sorry to hear that. but be strong. your parents love you. talk to them.

Answer 9

well i totally understand were your coming from i was sexually abused for 7 years straight by my grandmothers boyfriend and i never told anyone until recently and it seems like noone gives a flying **** still and ive learned to cope with it sometimes it sounds impossible and its not easy to do but if you have faith inyourself you can do it and ive did some really badd things to get attention and it still didnt seem to work but ive learned that to deal with your problems youve got to cope so try a new hobby to relieve stress it will help trust me and i know that sounds hard but ive went through it too.

Answer 10

let them know how you feel, if you dont tell them how are they going to know if you dont tell them. and dont harnest hatred for your half nephew for it is not his fault to be living with you. what you got to do is talk to your parents because it sounds that you are not as close to them as you should. as for getting attention you dont need to do bad stuff in order to get atention. you are their daughter and i am sure they love you very much. just stick around home a little more. talk to them about how they did today. do something that they would like. and please dont hate your half nephew i am sure he does not hate you and if he does well waht a di,ck fck him. just get closer to your parents and they will give more atention to you. you gotta remember they are human beings as well.