I'm 18 and this guy and i have been getting close and i really wanna sleep with him soon. Thing is i'm a virgin. At 18 that's pretty wierd. Most of our friends are older than me, and all are much more experienced than i am and talk about sex all the time. Although he doesn't really join in i know he's slept with at least 2 other people. Somehow i've managed to avoid telling them without lieing to them. I'm not really scared or anything i'm just worried he'll notice or think i'm really bad. Can i get away with not telling him? I really don't want to. Comments?
2007-01-03 12:01:32 · 40 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Of course you want to tell him! Your first time should be special, and he needs to know so he can work harder to make it wonderful. If it were me I would just put it out there in an offhand kind of way. Maybe something about how you've been wanting to take it slow because it's your first time. Or maybe make a joke about it. That he needs to make it good since it's your first time. I promise he won't think less of you because you haven't had a partner before. He'll probably think it's great that he's your first.
And don't worry about being bad. If a woman can be bad, which is debatable, he probably won't notice. And I think you would have to work hard at it to be bad, so don't worry. Just enjoy yourself.
2007-01-03 12:11:25 · answer #1 · answered by panthergoddess_92499 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Wow! There are some great answers on here and some really cool guys answering too! Please, if you think that being a virgin at 18 is weird just because people around you are talking about sex and you feel pressured, then you are not mature enough yet for a sexual relationship and really should wait. If this guy has already been with at least two other people and if he is the same age as you, then you should seriously be thinking whether he would settle down after you'd given your virginity to him. You only get it once, and as a virgin myself, and much older than you, I would strongly suggest that you wait until you are comfortable with who you are and, personally, I would suggest that you are married before intercourse - then you know he's committed.
Finally, check out www.celibrate.org which will help you to feel proud of your virginity, rather than wanting to get rid of what is such a special gift.
2007-01-04 22:46:59 · answer #2 · answered by D 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being a virgin doesn't matter. I'd tell him personally because its not a big deal and you can make it sound really laid back, like you want to have sex but you haven't before so he will have to help you out. It might be a positive thing in the sense that you wont have any bad habits!
If you really don't want to tell him there might be issues that kind of tell him anyway when you do the deed so it might be easier to just say now and avoid any messy instances. (I dunno how much detail is needed there but you should know what i mean!)
For the record 18 is a pretty normal age to begin having sex, anyone who has it before then is just trying to be grown up when the real adult thing is not really caring about sex.
(For the record im 21 n i had sex when i was 17, its never been a big deal for me)
2007-01-03 12:57:40 · answer #3 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, unless your seal has been broken its gonna show honey.
Nobody is amazing when they first start, an the sex you begin to have with partners is so different from what you learn over time.
Don't worry. The guys that boast are the ones with the least experience, people talk a lot of shite when it comes to it. The ones that dont are wiser an more likely to learn a lot more in the meantime.
Just talk to him, the last thing you want is to try an get away with it then be more weirded out by an embarrassing situation.
An fair play to you for waiting. Everyone rushes an its really not all that at first.
2007-01-03 12:11:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think you should be honest and tell him!!! There is no shame in being a virgin. If it feels that the time is right and he is the guy for you then go for it. Your friends dont need to know! Its none of their business and its just between the two of you. You could always say that its something you dont want the others to know about but thought he should know. It will be a much more relaxed and enjoyable experience if you are honest with each other.
2007-01-03 20:41:30 · answer #5 · answered by KAZ M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd tell him you are a virgin, and there is nothing weird about still being a virgin at 18. More people than you think are. And there is nothing wrong with saying to him (if he asks you about it) that you haven't been ready - I think any decent bloke would respect you for being honest.
If you don't tell him he may pick up on it whilst your having sex, particularly since your first time may cause a bit of discomfort. It doesn't hurt as such, it's just a weird feeling the first time because it is something your body isn't used to. Some girls may also bleed the first time, which would be a bit of a giveaway. (Unless of course you've used sex toys).
Best of luck x
2007-01-03 12:14:08 · answer #6 · answered by Pickle 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Firstly, 18 is not at all weird to be a virgin and its not a bad thing at all! Much better to look back at losing your virginity and realise you did it at the right time with someone you liked rather than anethetised yourself with alcohol and grabbed the first male in your path!
I doubt he would be able to tell if you were a virgin, but if you tell him (and he cares about making the experience good for you) he will probably go a bit more gently!
Finally, for the vast majority of guys, its a massive ego boost to be a girls first! So if you tell him, he's likely to feel a bit of a stud for being the first to go there. Also, it takes the pressure off him a bit cos you've got no one to compare him to- guys get scared too!
Good luck!
2007-01-03 12:13:44 · answer #7 · answered by noisymilly 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Most men wouldnt notice. and 18 isnt a wierd age to still be a virgin, i lost my virginity at 25! It was with my current boyfriend and he told me that night that there was no way he would of believed i was a virgin if i had told him afterwards, he couldnt tell!
Dont worry, if this guy is worth keeping you will be able to tell him without him making a big deal out of it, if he flips out or goes and tells everyone, then stay away from him.
Good Luck, and dont worry!
2007-01-03 12:06:59 · answer #8 · answered by Unhinged.... 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think it would be better to tell him the truth, You make it sound like something really bad "being a virgin" I think he will think more of you that you are a virgin than if you had slept with half a dozen blokes by the age of 18!!!
You should be proud of the fact that you're a virgin, and that you have respect for youself and dont just sleep with any bloke willy nilly
2007-01-03 12:21:08 · answer #9 · answered by talula 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should be proud of your self that you are still a virgin at 18. You should tell him, as your first time will hurt a little and if he knows your a virgin he'll be gentle with you and he'll be flattered too at the same time. He won't think that your bad at sex, any sex is good sex for men.
You know him well enuff to want to have sex with him and make sure you know him well enuff that he won't tell the others if you don't want them to know. Once you've done it u'll wonder wot all the fuss was about. Just enjoy the experience.
2007-01-03 12:14:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋