my girlfriend and i are at a point in our relationship where things are getting serious and religion is becoming an issue. she's highly spiritual and strong about her beliefs. i'm not so sure about mine. i'm still finding my way. sometimes i even questions God's existence. anytime we talk about religion it leads to an argument. how do we make this work? ow did you get past your differing beliefs?
2007-01-03 11:21:28 · 11 answers · asked by disarm_600 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I would guess that you need to figure out WHY your religious discussions end in arguments.
Maybe she's so passionate about her religion that she gets angry and frustrated that you can't see her point of view. If that's the case, then she is going to need time and (professional) help to work through that issue - it's not your responsibility to convert to please her or to make her feel more secure in her religion, nor would it be healthy for you to do this!
On the other hand, if you are dismissive of her beliefs or act like she is naive for being religious (it doesn't sound like you are, from the post, but I thought I'd mention the possibility), then you need to remember that everyone has their own beliefs and you need to be respectful of hers - even if you don't agree with them.
On the third hand (you DO have three hands, right? ;), it's possible that the two of you just aren't able to communicate with each other over an issue where you have little or no ground in common. In that case, I'd suggest non-religious couples' counseling to help the two of you work out this issue and to understand one another better.
Above all else, please do not convert to anything to please her - it will only make the relationship much worse. She will never be sure of your sincerity and you will always feel like your wishes had to come second.
2007-01-03 11:28:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It shouldn't be an issue if you both act like matures. It's like liking blue or black color. You're not going to get in a fight about that, are you? The important thing to work things out is respect. Tell her not to try to convince you about her religion, and you act likewise. I as an atheist, only have issues with religious people who try to convince me, and show no respect of my lack of believes. And of course, the fundamentalist christian fairies on Y!A.
And when you decide to have children, let them choose their religion if so, when they're grownups. Don't push it either way.
2007-01-03 19:36:43 · answer #2 · answered by cannabia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This will be very hard esp if you want to have children. Why don't you sit down with a counselor at her church or a spiritual adviser together to see if you can at least agree on something before you go any further in this relationship. If you fight now it will only get worse later.
2007-01-03 19:31:32 · answer #3 · answered by so so 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife is Christian and I am Wiccan and we get along fine because she accepts me and my beleifs and I accept her.
However when we married we were both Christians. We had a few peroblems when my beliefs started changing, but she came to accept my change and now is supporting.
If however I was Wiccan when dating, we never would have married.
If religion is real important to her, it could be a sign of trouble in the marriage, it ya'll go that route.
2007-01-03 19:29:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My wife and I got along pretty well for nearly ten years already. She's a Christians and I am not by definition. We just don't talk issues that are divisive in our relationships - politics and religions. As for our children we welcome their questions anything under the sun. We give different views and they decide which is acceptable to them.
2007-01-03 19:28:17 · answer #5 · answered by Frontal Lobe 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can't get past it. I am an atheist, and it is impossible for me to have a serious relationship with a theist. I don't want to hook up with the deluded.
2007-01-03 19:36:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
We respect each other. I am Agnostic, almost Atheist at times, and my husband is Baptist. Married for 5 yrs, together for 6, and still going STRONG!
2007-01-03 19:26:01 · answer #7 · answered by Amanda D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dont talk about religion with her. Simple. Make sure you come to an agreement on how your kids will be raised.
2007-01-03 19:28:19 · answer #8 · answered by rock 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
respect and learn that a couple are two people...forget about all that nonsense about two becoming one and the unity of a pair...a couple are two persons who meet and decide to be together...It doesnt mean you have to glue to each other and live the same life.
2007-01-03 19:26:05 · answer #9 · answered by whoknows 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's workable but aint easy...the only thing I did is to show the benefits the bible can bring. And it took a long time and much patience.
2007-01-03 19:25:13 · answer #10 · answered by Gizelle K 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋