Is it normal to want to be with your bf/gf 24/7?

Question

I've had girlfriends (and indeed a wife) in the past who seemed to think that we had to be together constantly, and would take offence if I sat and read a book or watched tv instead of talking to them, or if I ever wanted to engage in any hobby on my own. Is this normal behaviour, or am I the freak? I like to stay in and watch tv on my own every now and then (to quote from Madness).

Are there women out there that also like to have some 'me' time, and so understand if their boyfriends also want some? If there are, then I've been looking in the wrong places.

Answer 1

Relationships need to "breathe." That is to say, they follow cycles like many other aspects of life. There may be a strong desire to be together 24/7 for days, weeks or months, but then there will be a need for "space." I have found, in 20 years of marriage, that sometimes my need for closeness occurs at exactly the time my spouse needs "space" and vice-versa. It is when the cycles of both people are in synch that we enjoy the most harmonious time in our relationship.

I don't think you are asking anything unreasonable. If your gf needs constant attention from you, she might be feeling insecure about some aspect of the relationship. Or, perhaps she just doesn't get enough social interaction from other sources and needs to communicate with you more than you would like. Have you addressed the issue directly with her?
Then again, maybe you need an unusually large amount of quiet alone time. Some people need to be in solitude more than others. (A sign of an introverted personality.) That doesn't make you a freak, but it is helpful to be aware of how your needs are different from hers.

To address your final paragraph - I am a woman, and I DO like my "me" time. I must admit, however, that it is sometimes difficult to give my husband his space, because work and sleep take up 2/3 of every 24 hours, leaving only a few hours a day, which them must be divided between household maintenance, children's needs and "relationship time." Again, just being aware of our different nature helps.

Answer 2

I believe that having balanced time together and time apart is the key to a healthy, happy, long lasting relationship. Many females do feel the need to be together with their "other" constantly, typically during the first stages of a relationship, but the ones that are secure with themselves and with their relationship won't act on it, because they understand that smothering someone isn't good for you or for them. Any women who do not understand or act by this are usually insecure (I won't say all women who want to be together constantly are insecure, because I refuse to make a generalization so vague as that),and if the woman you're with can't accept having time apart, you clearly need to find someone on the same level as you. Maybe just talking about these issues would help, but if not, find a woman who understands how you feel about this. Trust me, she is out there somewhere. If two people did everything together, they'd never have anything to talk about! Each person in a relationship needs to maintain their own lives, too. Hopefully this helped you, good luck!

Answer 3

yes, keep looking and let this be known from the start, I was at a point in life also when i thought the same as you, so I changed eveything. I stoped dating seriously. I worked a place wher 98% of the workers were young females.. You know how they are.. They all want the attention so I was never short on dates.. Now alot of these girls if not most had boyfriends and knew the deal with me. We were gonna party like ther was know tomorrow amd when tomorrow came is was, see ya later..and yes there were a few repeats and I almost fell for 2 of them. Any way my point is Just be honest. Now when I met my wife I told her everything I hate about women and dating... We've been married for over 10 years, I go to concerts, I go fishing with my buddies, I come and go as I please with no what time? where are you going crap. Now I do tend to my family responsibilities and My wife and children always come first. I give her the same space and respect. I think it is all due to trust and lack of jealousey.. Ther is one out there for you, keep looking.

Answer 4

You are definately looking in the wrong places! A lot of women want and need their own space- those that don't are often scared of being on their own and lack a strong sense of their own identity. Personally speaking, I can't think of anything worse than a boyfriend who wanted to follow me round like a lost soul all the time, and was so insecure he couldn't give me five minutes peace to read a book!

Answer 5

No, I do not think it's normal to need to be with your bf/gf all the time. I think all couples need to have some of their own hobbies separate from each other. It's normal to want some alone time. When you're with someone so much, sometimes you just need a little time apart. For he/she to get offended by you wanting some alone time shows that he/she is not ready for a real relationship, and they simply want someone to be with them all the time. It's not realistic. Time apart actually can strengthen your relationship because you are able to be without each other, which builds trust in each other and makes you happy when you do see each other rather than getting tired of him/her.

Answer 6

Well it all depends. most women want their men to think of them as objects of desire. So, therefore they want your undivided attention. After a few years of a relationship, women start to relize that just because you would rather watch the game, or go out with the guys does not mean that you are not crazy about them. I have been married for almost 5 years now and I did the same thing to my husband for the first two years of the relationship.

Answer 7

The way I see it, you spent your years before them, without them do its no true "need" have them in your life. You survived before they came into your life, so the 24/7 to me is friggin stupid. Yes, I do love the companionship a relationship brings, but no one is 100% compatible, meaning sometimes you might have to drift off from your mate time to time to do the things you're interested in. Your mate should understand that.
I'm the type of girl, my guys does his thing with his fellas and whatever, and I don't fret, because I like ot go out with my girls and do me. When me and my mate get together, we do us, we do whatever makes us the union we are. But people should have lives outside of their relationship and their mate should be respectful of this because these behaviors/hobbies/etc. are a part of the person, thus meaning they mold the person their mate came to love.

If I am smothered by my mate 24/7, that never gives to time to miss them. Never gives you time to truly appreciate all the little things about them. I couldn't deal with a mate who had to be my friggin shadow 24/7, to me that is not love, that is an obsession or lack of trust.

Answer 8

Depends why she wants to be with you all the time. Generally with me it starts as trust issue.

First time in our beginning relationship that I left BF home alone in apartment when I went to Ballet with friends. I come home turn on computer and discover he used his alone time to download bunch of porn which he forgot to clear off our media player.

Just don't like the idea that the minute i'm out of sight he is thinking of other women...... so this may take some time.

Answer 9

I for one don't think it's normal to want to be around another person 24/7
I'm female & I love some "me time" when I don't have to feel crowded or have to keep being "attentive" to someone else's needs...I hate to feel hemmed in by another & after a while I actually begin to feel that my life's air is being taken from around me....If it continue's which it has in the past...then I feel enough is enough & the person "living off of me" has to go. I begin to feel drained & almost like I'm being "taken over"
I can be as much the life & soul of a party as another...but I also am quite a private person...needing my own space at times...often this is mis-understood by others as though I just "don't care"
My husband would love nothing better than I sit with him all night doing what he wants...I don't want to sit watching T.V all night...I like to get on with my own thing...I believe we all should have our own hobbies...likes...dislikes to get on with...that's what makes us individual after all...I don't feel the need to be joined at the hip to another person & don't actually find that kind of behaviour "healthy"
so to answer your question...at last..lol
No! you are not a freak for wanting your own space...to me that's a healthy & confident place to be...as long of course that we don't forget the significant other in our lives.....give me space & I'll always be there...hem me in & I'm off.

Answer 10

at the beginning its normal to want to spend every living moment with them but after a while you should normally get the urge to do things yourself maybe you just attract insercure people who need more attention than others cos of there hang ups try talking to them about it and let them no that just cos you want to do your own thing every now and then it doesnt mean you dont want to be with them but be careful not to make them feel excluded from your life total cos thats when your problems start and there worse than the one your having now believe me