how to forgive a cheater?

Question

my boyfriend cheated and i want to forgive because i still love him.

Answer 1

you wont completely get over it and you might end up hating him if you tried to forget it and act like it never happened

Answer 2

Hi,

This is awkward because most of the time cheaters won't change. I know how you feel, you love him but you just wish he didn't cheat and if he promises not to then maybe he won't, right? Honestly you should at least take a break from him, don't be intimate with him, etc... cheating is a terrible thing to do and it isn't something to be taken lightly.

I don't know the exact circumstances of his cheating... like was he drunk and cheated, or did he hook up with a close friend, etc. Did he admit it to you right after he did it or did you find out on your own/heard it from someone else? It's a slippery slope. In any case, he should have had better judgement (even if he was drunk). Cheating is one of the hardest things to get over, but I think it pays to try to be strong. If he cheats again, you only have yourself to blame.

Trust IMO is the most important part of any relationship, and trust gone = worse than back to square one... he has to not only gain your trust but re-gain it. Don't take him back right away if at all. You'll need to take MONTHS rebuilding your trust in him (if that's at all possible), and you both need to want to commit to it. I don't know if cheating can truly be a mistake... I think there had to be some desire on his part to do it, which is very hurtful to you. He disrespected you in the worst way, remember that. You deserve a man who only sleeps with you.

Sorry if my response seems kinda scrambled. Basically don't rush into forgiving him... even if you want to forgive him you'll never forget.. there are so many feeling involved in cheating, like you'll feel betrayal, disgust, etc., take time and you'll find some clarity. Let your bf know it's unacceptable and show him.. don't sleep with him, maybe even break up with him... I would... if he's truly sorry he will do all he can to earn you back, and that takes time, he'll try for months.

Good luck and stay strong.

Answer 3

you dont if my bf cheated on me i wouldnt want to forgive him. once a cheater always a cheater. there is nothing more or less to that. he has hurt. you might think he is the best for you but he is not, you need someone who thinks you are the best so he doesnt go off cheating and you think the same about him

Answer 4

A cheater is a cheater!! But if you really want to forgive him you can. First... get him to talk to you about it and come clean with a sincere apology. Set your ground rules for forgiveness. Then move on with life and DO NOT throw it in his face ever again. IF it happens again... throw him to the curb!

Answer 5

Can you still trust him after this? A relationship is based on trust. As the saying goes..."once a dog, always a dog"! I do not believe in giving second chances when cheating is involved!! I think you need to move on and let this doggy go!! There are plenty of guys out there that will treat you with respect without cheating on you!!!

Answer 6

Once they cheat, they will be cheating the rest of their lives. Get rid of him NOW, save yourself from a life of pure hell with this loser.

This guy does NOT think about your feelings, so why give him the time of day?

Remember this, whoever he sleeps with, you sleep with them too... visa versa... whoever you sleep with your boyfriend/husband sleeps with them as well.

You can forgive him, but you don't have to stay with him. He's just showed you where his honor in the relationship is at... is that what you want in a man?

Answer 7

You don't! You leave him. If he did it once, he'll do it again! What's to stop him. You loved him, you forgave him which told him it was OK....no, don't go that route! If he cheated on you, he didn't love and respect you enough to deserve your forgiveness. Find a man who does deserve you and will not have thoughts of cheating.

Answer 8

The problem is more than forgiveness. The really big deal is that it will probably happen again. People seldom change without counseling of some sort. Three out of four prison inmates ... return.

Answer 9

Its probably that he or she just would do the same thing again. But if he really explains you with details and reasons you can consider forgiving him because people some times make such stupid things that they deserve forgiveness

Answer 10

if your boyfriend cheated on you and he at least apologized i think you can still work out the relationship by forgiving him but if he doesn't apologize leave him and just think it's his lost because she left a girl that loves seriously

Answer 11

I do believe true love can concur all. But, unless this is true you might lead yourself down a long and lonely road of; I told you so's (this is if it happens again and your embarrassed) The endless thoughts in your head when your not with him or when hes acting different. The knowledge of knowing he might think he can do what he wants now.

Whatever you decide(d) just make sure you stay strong with close friends. From recent experience, its taken me longer to regain myself esteem back than I ever could imagine. (this is after it happened again).

Answer-Your going to do what your going to do, but just maybe you can stay apart and try to gain a friend first. This way maybe your new friend might not hurt you like that again when you start dating again.