my dad died in iraq and my step mom is abuse?

Question

My mom died in a car accident when i was 8. My dad started dating again when i was 10. He found this lady and got married to her. She abuses me and my sis, but loves and cares about my 2 step bros and step sis. My dad is in the army and goes away to Iraq all the time, so he didnt know that we got abused. One day we got this letter that said my dad had been shot and killed. I lost both of my parents and im living with my evil step mother. She had just recently kicked out me and my sis, saying we were nothing and didnt belong and other stuff. My younger sis is 6 years younger than me (10) and i have to take care of her. We live with my friend and her family. I want to drop out of school and take care of my sister. i want whats best for her. i dont know what to do. I feel like were run away orphans with nowhere to go. can someone please help on what to do

Answer 1

Dear Lauren,

keep your head, and do what you must, it sounds like your present situation is a must. Do you have grandparents you can stay with. If not, do your best until you come of age to either work or perhaps join the military yourself, or the peace Corps or become a missionary.

No one dis serves abuse especially physical, mental or sexual. If you are having problems, stick up for your self, and be careful though because the department of Social services can and will put you kids in foster care if things can not work them self out, I watch TV and sometimes see kids that have gone through the Foster system living in 18 different homes before they are 16.

Try your best, believe in your school work, because you do need your high school diploma. It makes life easier when you turn 18.

Help with chores, clean up house, do wash just keep busy one day this will end and a new life will open for you and your sister. New husbands perhaps. Lean on God or read literature about Him. Southern Baptist, Methodist or Presbyterian literature is a good place to start.

There is Sunday school classes at each of these churches on Sunday mornings that allow kids to attend with out their parents. This is a good way to get away from your temporary troubles by attending Sunday school. Keep your problems to your self and learn about God. But if your troubles are harming you or your sister then you may have to get help from someone. Remember to say NO if anybody violates your privacy you have this right.

Always remember this...Jesus is always on your side and your best friend this does not change...

And, Lauren before I go I am very proud of your Dad serving his Country. Your step mother is probabbly receiving Social security money thanks to your Daddys military service, so remember that OK. This is helping to take care of you and your sister. But try to help out your step mom maybe she will come around and be happy.


Rich
http://dogwoodsquotes.blogger.com

Answer 2

This is an extremely difficult situation and dropping out of school would not be a good idea because you will not be able to get a good, supportive job later. It seems like you are already doing the correct thing by living with a friend and helping your sister. I'm not sure that you can do anything about your step mom. I would stay with this family until you are 18 to avoid being put into foster care. You should apply for scholarships and it would be likely that you get a big grant for college. When you are able to move out, your sister might could remain w/ the friends for a month or so, until you've established a good home.
Good luck && I'm sorry... try also talking to counselors, church members, etc.

Answer 3

This is so sad! It's important for you to report the abuse your step-mom has inflicted on you to family services. There are some kind people who will help you get through this terrible time. Whatever you do, DON'T DROP OUT OF SCHOOL! I know dropping out sounds like the answer but you will pay for it for the rest of your life. Think about what your dad would have wanted for you. I'm sure he'd be proud that you want to take care of your sister but at age 16, it's almost impossible. You need help from professionals. Please don't be afraid to report your step-mom. She has no right to treat you or little sister the way she's treated you both. Also, you may be protecting the other kids in the family. Just because she hasn't abused them yet, doesn't mean she won't. Good Luck!

Answer 4

Call your state's child welfare agency. They probably have a 24 hour intake unit. The staff there will connect you with whatever services you need. They can contact people in the field if there is an emergency and get help to you right away. If no reconciliation is possible, they will help put in place the legal means to get you and your sis officially placed with a relative or foster parent. (My Experience: I spent a month observing my state's intake unit as part of a project at work. I found them very caring and supportive.)

If you are not sure about the state agency, there are several public service agencies around to help you take the first step . Try the United Way, Catholic Charities, Salvation Army, YMCA/YWCA or local domestic violence project. If you are in school, speak with a counselor or if in a church, ask the pastor or priest (Other Experience: I am a pastor's daughter).

Be brave!

Answer 5

I am so sorry for the loss of both parents and at such a young age. I know what it is like to lose a parent. Do you have any aunts, uncles, cousins or close family friends that can help you. If not go to a church and talk to a priest. He may be able to help you find a place. Also there is social services. You should really go to the police and report your step mom. Since your father died in Iraq you should qualify for financial benefits. Contact the person in the army that sent you the letter and explain your situation. They should be obligated to give you some type of assistance and help. I will be sending good Karma your way. Email mail me any time. I will try to help you if I can.

Answer 6

Look I'm probably not the best person to answer this (as I'm very young and haven't had any experiences with someone who's committed suicide.) But hopefully this will help. I think that reaching out to God would really help you though, (I'm not sure if you were raised with religion, or which one, but I know that praying helps me a ton) There are confession things at Churches, which are free. So you could go there and get help (no insurance needed and I think those things are confidential) Talk to your husband MAKE him realize that this isn't a bunch of crap, it's serious. You are given this life for a reason, it's such a great opportunity for you, and everyone. PLEASE do not give up, give up anything else, your marriage, your children, your job WHATEVER. But do not give up your life, it'll come to an end soon enough. Instead focus on the things that make you happy (your kids? do more stuff with them! your job? do it not just for the money but because you love it!) I'm not sure honey, but don't give up...for me anyways. I'm not sure about anyone else, and I don't know if it would be better for them if you weren't here, but know that one person is definitely rooting for you. Much love, darling. And good luck:) xoxoxoxoxo

Answer 7

You and you sister are entitled to survivor benefits from both your mother's social security and you fathers. You may also be entitled to more benefits because your father was in the military. I would check into how to get these benefits. Avoid lump sum payments because once it's gone there is no more. Take a monthly payment as the two of you will need this money in the future as well. This money is owed to you and your sister. Let no one take it from you.


Try to stay in school. You may find a better paying job once your out. Also, it may help if you can find some blood relatives to live with until you can get on your feet.
I'm sorry to hear about your Dad.
Good Luck

Answer 8

U need to report the stepmoma immediately if she really abused u.
Be very proud, your dad is the true hero that fought for americans freedom.
U be brave like your Dad was and dont let this get u down.
Your father was a veteran and served in the War.
U are due benefits from his death.
Get in touch with the Veterans Administration and let them know u are the children of the soldier that was killed (your dad)
Your stepma kicked u out, cause she wants your dads benefits.
Report her immediately to authorities for abuse.

Answer 9

Your sister may need you now, but she will continue to need your help 20 years from now. If you drop out of school, you are likely to end up being more of a burden to her later than a help.

You do need adults to help you and your sister, but don't think you can help her, by disregarding your own needs. Get that diploma, and then go on to college, and encourage your sister to do the same. That way, you will both be able to escape from this mess, and go on to better and brighter things in the future.

Answer 10

You say that you got a 'letter' saying that your father had died?
I don't think that is the way they do it these days. The military sends someone to your home to give you news like that. And then his body gets sent back,and a funeral follows. And your stepmother could get in a lot of trouble kicking a minor out on the street. Are you being honest with us?