I've been apart from my husband two years - he was the love of my life, but I had to finish with him due to complicated reasons - we still love each other, but we live in different countries now, and I have a baby of my own. Neither of us have moved on, but I don't think we can be together again. After two years, my mind tells me I have to move on. I have no trouble getting guys interested in me, but I don't give them a chance, and keep turning them down after two or three dates - what can I do to get over my ex and start afresh?? I'm seeing one guy at the moment, but he's just too nice and would be perfect for my life, but I miss the intensity of my old relationship - how can I give this guy a chance, without feeling I'm wasting his time??? Should I tell him how I feel, and see what he says?
2007-01-03 10:22:48 · 17 answers · asked by Lucia 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
if you miss the intensity, then as "perfect" as this guy is, he's not the one for you. If you need passion and fire and you're not getting it, then you're going to be looking for it elsewhere. This is not an intellectual exercise. You can think about it all day how perfect this guy is, but the emotional part is important too, and sometimes you just can't rationalize why you're attracted to some guys and not others. Patience, grasshopper. In time two things will happen - the feelings you still have for your ex will fade, and the more men you date the greater the odds of meeting one that will set you on fire. And remember, you're not looking for the perfect man - you're looking for the one that is perfect FOR YOU!!!
2007-01-03 10:38:38 · answer #1 · answered by Jim C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, that's just us woman by nature, comparing men to other men, every man I've been with I've compared to my dad,,,,my dad is such a great man and i always said someday I'm gonna find a good man like that, but i have now learned that it just doesn't work, no two people are exactly the same or will be the same exact way, it just doesn't work that way, it's such a hard complex to get over, but really if you don't try your hardest to stop the comparing nothing will ever work out, seems to me you still love your ex, try patching things up there if you love him so much, if that's not possible, then the man your dating now give him a chance, block your ex out of your mind and remind yourself that this new guy is someone totally different and keep looking to you do find some one with some of the same qualities your ex had,,,good luck with this.
2007-01-03 10:27:29 · answer #2 · answered by Nita and Michael 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well they say we never forget our first luv , and its true , i havent , but no dont tell him ,your current bf this , because then he will have it at the back of his mind ,that he has to meet a certain standard , and obviously he doesnt , you said he is perfect for your life , i think your afraid your ex will have a change of mind and you will be in a relationship and that door will be closed ,guess wut its been shut for 2yrs already ,time to give this guy a chance and give him your all ,because he is not ,nor any man settle for part of you or any woman for that matter.How would you feel if your current bf was in your shoe's would you wait around forever until you had all of him and would it be ok if his mind was else where ... i know you are not doing it on purpose but the fact is u are being unfair to your current bf and anyone else who comes along, and i know no woman would settle for having a guy in there life part of the time its all or nothing same for us guys ,so make a nice candlelite dinner for your current bf and show him how you appreciated his patience and give yourself to him totally b4 you loose him ... because it sounds like you are worth the time to him , but a man can only wait so long before he feels there is no chance ,your current bf that is
2007-01-03 10:37:39 · answer #3 · answered by luvsgateway 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you guys have some unfinished business??? something you would like him to know maybe?? if you do, you should comunicate to him what that is, get it off your chest open your mind and let it out. just think...why are you turning guys down? is there a reason why you still have feelings? i know love is strong and hard to come over, but sometimes you just have to do whats right. if you have something in your way, get it out of the way so you can move on and be happy still. dont compair men to your ex. its just going to make you realize how much he is holding you back. not every guy is the same...give em a chance...u never know how intense a relationship is going to get if you dont move on to the next step...ya know...good luck...if you ahve troubles still, talk to some family members or friends that would support you and give you advice on how to help this out...good luck!!
2007-01-03 10:29:43 · answer #4 · answered by shortlilkorngrl929 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would most certainly tell the new man what is going on. It is so very hard to get over a past love. I believe you need to just take things one day at a time, time will heal all wounds. Give the new man a chance, and talk to him.
2007-01-03 10:26:28 · answer #5 · answered by tamlovinlife2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yea tell him, but if your still have feelings for your old babe then you shouldnt be trying to find another serious relationship, its wrong to use other people to get over old ones, its only gonna hurt both of you in the end, and nice guys arnt always the best, i get where your comin from with the intensity thing, everyone knows too perfect isnt the best kind of perfect, unless you mean intensity in a sexual kind of way, in that case tell your new man to man the **** up
2007-01-03 10:27:44 · answer #6 · answered by CRUNK 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go with what your mind says.Most likely your correct.Move on and tell this new guy you need some time to work out past emotions,but if you like this guy,give him a chance.You might run into a new wonderful experience.
2007-01-03 10:28:27 · answer #7 · answered by NativeCock 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you need to buy that new Ciara CD and listen to the song 'So Hard'. Then you need to evaluate if your heart is ready for another relationship. You need to find yourself and see what exactly it is you want outta life and in a man also. You need some me time.
2007-01-03 10:26:11 · answer #8 · answered by milly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's going to be hard and take time. Just don't rush into anything and give people a chance.
2007-01-03 10:24:50 · answer #9 · answered by dmstanley02 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went through the same with I couldnt trust guys anymore but in a while oyu will get over him totaly dont rush it!
2007-01-03 10:28:34 · answer #10 · answered by chauntel c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋