...not HELP as in I dont want to get married, but:...
I am getting married to my fiance of 3 years in May - we are having a small service at our dream location in the Uk but the venue is very small - only enough room for 30 people.
Therefore I can only invite very close friends and family to fit in with our plans.
This means I cannot invite the rest of my friends and family which I'm quite gutted about.
HOWEVER - I have arranged for a big party and have invited everyone to that which is being held a week later - its an evening party so its your usual disco buffet and get drunk sort of thing.
I feel so guilty about everyone who is being left out of the actual wedding day ceremony as whenever my family or friends have a wedding, the whole world is invited.
Do you think they will be miffed??
How do I tell them, "yeah your invited but only to the party" without having to explain myself - its very annoying
P.s. the capacity of dream venue is 30 - I'm not being cheap
2007-01-03 09:45:51 · 19 answers · asked by Dave 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Thanks for your nice comments - much appreciated!
Cheers
2007-01-03 09:51:41 · update #1
Thank you all - you have put my mind at ease!
A problem shared etc etc.....
Much obliged to you all! :-)
2007-01-03 10:03:26 · update #2
if they are true friends they will understand..this is your wedding ,,,your dream location..its OK...and you are acknowleging them later...you need to do what is right for you and your husband to be...its not that you dont want them there but this is where you want your wedding...
congrats honey and enjoy!!! you only get married once...!!!!
2007-01-03 09:49:52 · answer #1 · answered by diane b 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just supposing you were getting married in the Caribbean and invited all your friends to go with you as their expense, how many would actually be able to attend?
Well honey there is very little difference, would you be offended if they didn't all turn up but only came to the reception? No of course you wouldn't.
Why not compromise, you could arrange it so all your guests arrive by, for example, 7.30pm. You and your husband could then make your entrance to the wedding march and either show a video of you exchanging your vows, or do it in the centre of the room - so everyone can hear what is the most important part of the service. You don't have to have a vicar or anything so formal, just "I whoever TOOK." whoever to be my lawfully wedded etc"
Do wear your wedding dress, at least at the beginning of the evening as that will make everyone feel part of your wedding, rather than just a party
Whatever you decide enjoy your day
2007-01-06 15:01:18 · answer #2 · answered by PMF 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a choice either change you venue to another to get everyone you want there. Or keep the one you have and explain its close family only eg mother mother in law etc cause there is only a few people allowed in. After all who's day is it any way yours and the man you are wanting to spend the rest of your life with its your special day even if it was just both of you and a witness. Its one day in your life you cant have over again and you dream wedding at this special place . If people love and respect you both they will understand and if they don't well are you asking them to pay for it. Good luck in what you choose remember its your day and only your special day.
2007-01-03 20:39:04 · answer #3 · answered by kiarakitty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi hunny im getting married and im having a similar sort of problem and with not inviting a few people so god help it if i said i wasnt inviting most people. Dont worry about it, they should be happy for you and respect your descison its your wedding and after all they are invited to the night do. Im afraid nothing is ever so simple at weddings and i knew mine was going all to well.
But do as you planned ans dont bother thinking about what is going to happen. Just explain in person as they may take it better. Just say were having our wedding in our dream location and we can only invite 30 people, but the thing is there isnt places for everyone but they all will be invited to the night do. So im just inviting close friends and family that will just fit in. There will always be one unhappy person that will try to upset you. But why do you have to be misrable in order for them to be happy, when you are the one who is going to be having the happiest day of you life. And face it will the people you dont invite remeber you day like you do. So if you dont have your dream wedding you wont be happy. So go ahead if people are miffed let them. Just go with the flow and explain your reasons. Good Look and dont change your mind for anyone to have the satisfaction.
2007-01-03 17:55:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I actually debated on having a wedding with that number of guests and then the reception for the 600 guests who ended up attending both my reception and ceremony.
I wanted the smaller, intimate ceremony with only my closest friends and family. Let's face it, most people would rather get away with only heading to the reception anyway.
Explain to them that it's very intimate and nothing personal, then have LOTS of pictures, maybe a slideshow from the ceremony at the reception. It will give people the sense that they were there without having to sit through it!
People will understand, especially those who matter! It's your daya nd your dream, make it hte way you want it!
2007-01-03 17:55:22 · answer #5 · answered by jen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why do I have the feeling your getting married gretna green? I got married gretna green and there was a limit of 30 peaple. I only invited close family and everyone else came after at the reception.
1) if you feel you cant leave people out dont invite anyone!! you shouldnt feel guilty because if people are missing out they all should miss out.It isnt that expensive to hold a blessing somewhere else (you'll have to look it up at your nearest church or registra office) and then you can invite everyone.
ok you'll be married when you have the blessing but it'll still mean a lot to everyone else that they all go invited
2007-01-04 09:04:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simply send an announcement after the fact along with a reception card that says "Please celebrate with us on (date, time) at (location). That is sufficient. Then, have your ceremony videotaped and play the tape or DVD on a big screen at the reception (before you are introduced) so they can share your special day. If they are really your friends, they will understand that your ceremony venue was too small to accommodate everyone.
2007-01-03 17:50:42 · answer #7 · answered by Jenny 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have to ask "why would you even consider such a small place" if in your heart you'd like everyone to be at your wedding. I'd cancel the matchbox wedding and have a big chabang where all my friends can see me be married....it's a memorable day and I'd want my family as well as my friends to all be there. But to each their own....GOOD LUCK either way.
2007-01-03 17:53:38 · answer #8 · answered by Mellie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If these are your close friends they will understand totally impossible to invite everyone you know to your wedding cheap or no cheap. That is your day do what u want
2007-01-03 17:55:04 · answer #9 · answered by nitenurse 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's your wedding day not everyone elses! Just simply explain to them about the circumstances! Have someone video tape it and show at the party!!!
2007-01-03 19:09:38 · answer #10 · answered by September Sweetie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them the same as you just told us. It is your day so don't go feeling guilty about it. If they all wanted big and flash that is up to them. If you want small and select that is up to you.
Quit worrying about it and start looking forward to it. If they don't understand they are not very good friends to have!
2007-01-03 17:51:37 · answer #11 · answered by Jolly Jo Jo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋