Our son who is in 7th grade stayed overnight at a friends house this weekend. His friend is in 5th grade and when he got home he told me he had a good time, but he pointed out that his friends mother had them take a bath together before bedtime on saturday night. He said it was fun but he didn't expect it. Our 7th grader is still physically immature and is about the same size as his friend.
Should I say something to his friends mom or should I just let it go?
2007-01-03 09:35:02 · 21 answers · asked by Mary M 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
My son said they were playing in the attic and got pretty filthy. He also said his mom did not sit there with them. She just filled the tub added some bubbles and turned on the jets and let them be until it was finished up.
2007-01-03 10:11:59 · update #1
That sounds weird. I would approach her about it. There is little reason to make them bathe, but to bathe together seems highly inappropriate at that age!
2007-01-03 09:37:57 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The mother should have known that this was inappropriate. I can see having him take a bath on his own but taking a bath with her son? That is a common sense "no-no."
You know this woman better than we do...judging by the fact that you haven't already lost it, I'm assuming she otherwise appears to be a good person in your opinion. So, I would definitely mention it but I would do it a little lightly just in case. Say "I heard they got filthy in the attic...Did they make a mess?" See if she gets the conversation started up about making them take a bath and then say "Oh, he's getting ready to hit puberty...I would probably rather he had taken his own bath alone." She would get the point.
Of course, if you have suspicions about her intentions based on other shady behaviors (which I'm assuming she doesn't really have or you wouldn't have allowed your kid to spend the night) then by all means say something now! If something seems shady about her outside of this situation she could be one sick puppy...in which case it may not only be your son she has spending the night and bathing with her child.
2007-01-03 10:37:53 · answer #2 · answered by just me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You make it a big deal then it will be a big deal.
We just had a little one spend two nights with us. I asked him when we got up the next day if he wanted a bath it was up to him. I asked him if he wanted me to call his mother to ask her permission. These kids are 11.
We had another little boy spend a couple months with us. This kid I just had to make him, I told all the boys he was in there and not to just walk in and out as they do with each other. His mother was not thrilled that he did not take more of them. This is a very strange thing for a child to do at another persons home.
Being a parent of a autistic child I have to MAKE this child take his baths. If he ever did stay the night at others home (he did a couple times with friend in paragraph 1) I would not expect the other mother to make him. This child has seizures and has to be checked on if alone in water....
I would really not say anything. Dose not sound as if anything was wrong. If you make it a big deal your son is going to think he did something wrong, which he did not. Do what you think is best for your own son though.....
2007-01-03 11:33:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are not comfortable with this situation then you should SPEAK UP and let the boys mom why did she did that ??? That it is no appropriate to take a bath together that you son knows hoe to bath by himsellf and that's the way it should be done.. If I where you I will talk to this boy mom and have an explanation and depending on her reaction you will know if you will continue to allowed your boy to sleep over !!! GOOD LUCK !!!
2007-01-03 09:49:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
At that age, she shouldn't have asked them to bathe together, however if they boys didn't have a problem with it, I wouldn't make a big deal out of it.
Tell your son that you'd prefer him to take his own baths, but only because (and make up a reason), that you don't want them making a mess in the bathroom by being unruly. I wouldn't make him feel that there was something wrong with being naked around another boy. That itself is a non-issue.
2007-01-03 11:08:05 · answer #5 · answered by Jen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
umm, if you don't like it, you might mention it to her.
I know everyone thinks this is weird and just unexcepted...but....it just sounds to me like she isn't letting her own child grow up.My boys took baths together and when i had a ton of kids in the house( up to 10 at a time sometimes all in swimsuits or swim shorts though)...yes i stacked baths putting boys with boys and girls with girls.My oldest daughter still baths with my younger daughter sometimes to help me out because my youngest cant' wash her own hair and such.My oldest ends up getting soaked in bath water so she just goes ahead and gets in the tub.lol.Its quicker and cheaper to stack baths.But, once they get a certain age...its time to stop this.Around 5 or 6.Putting kids in the tub together after that age is .... rather inappropriate and unhealthy...in my opinion.Especially outside the family.
So again, it just sounds like she still thinks of her child as a little baby who wound't recognize...personal parts.
You can at least ask her to put the boys in swimming trunks if you want to find a common ground with her and are afraid of an argument.Kids do like playing in the tub.lol
2007-01-03 10:58:56 · answer #6 · answered by Dream 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the age 5th-7th grade is a tender time for all kids and they begin exploring their sexuality around then. I wouldn't recommend bathing kids together after they reach school age at all. I would call the parent and tell her it bothers you (if it does) and explain to your son why it wasn't a great idea but without sharing too much information.
2007-01-03 10:43:44 · answer #7 · answered by Elisabeth 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your son may be physically immature but I'm sure he knows that this is not okay. I would not be okay with my son bathing with anyone and he's 5. He was taught at an early age how to bath himself so that he could learn the importance of privacy regarding your own body. You need to have a serious talk with the people involved.
2007-01-03 09:45:16 · answer #8 · answered by Jo 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I'd call the mom and let her know that, in the future, if she feels your son is filthy and needs a bath, you'd appreciate it if he was left in privacy to do so. It's not appropriate to have siblings are bordering on puberty bathe with younger siblings... it's certainly not appropriate to have two children not related to one another do so!!
2007-01-03 12:37:41 · answer #9 · answered by Amy S 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That does seem a little old to have them bathe together, but I'd just let it go, especially since your son doesn't seem bothered by it.
2007-01-03 09:39:35 · answer #10 · answered by nimo22 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋