My son is 3 1/2 and he will not use the potty!!! What can I do?

Answer 1

My son is also the same age and I'm having the same problem. I feel your pain! My pediatrician said it's a battle of wills, and the parents WILL lose. He told me not to push, and offer him lots of choices. Now, instead of asking IF he wants to potty, I ask him which potty he wants to use (we have a training potty and a potty ring for the big toilet). That has worked a little better.

Most parents I know have great success with reward charts. It hasn't worked super-well for us. He'll start trying to make a real effort when he's close to earning a prize, but if the chart is starting over he won't even try.

He doesn't seem at all interested in Big-Boy underwear, although I've bought all his favorite characters. He prefers his Pull-Ups. If you haven't tried underwear yet, that might work. Some kids really like wearing big-kid underwear and will try to stay dry.

Another thing I've tried (with limited success) is having him throw away his dirty Pull-Ups when he wets them, and when he poops, I make him wipe his butt with a diaper-wipe and throw out the stinky diaper. I wipe him thouroughly first to avoid the mess, but I make him at least go through the motions and he HATES it.

I offer lots and lots of praise. I'm sure you feel like you're at your wit's end (I know I do -- AND I have the added bonus of potty-training my 2 1/2 year old daughter at the same time) but I just keep telling myself it's not always going to be this way. I'm sure by the time he's 30, wiping his butt will be a distant memory. At least I hope so.

One of the worst things you can do is discipline him. If he has an accident (or an on-purpose "accident") don't make a big deal out of it. Make a big deal out of it every time he is successful on the potty. The second worst thing you can do is to be too hard on yourself. Even though it's hard NOT to get frustrated, it's not going to do anyone any good. My pediatrician said the average age for boys to be potty-trained is 3 1/2. Average, so that means lots of boys aren't trained at this age.

Good luck!

Answer 2

Three and a half is getting a little old not to use the potty at all. First have him checked out by your doctor and make sure nothing is wrong - like an infection that may cause pain.

If everything checks out, then put him on the potty on a schedule. Once an hour or so and don't let him up until he does something. Also, take him out for diapers and let him be wet for awhile if he doesn't make it to the potty. Kids don't like being wet. Third, praise him when he does go in the potty and give him a little treat.

Good luck.

Answer 3

I read that if they will not use the potty after three it is just a control game with them. So you make them clean up after themselves. Say pooppy goes in the potty and after you change his diaper shake it over the toilet until it falls in. After showing him a couple times then make him do it. Soon he will want to put his poopy in the potty the easy way. Good luck!

Answer 4

You should try to make it fun for him. Make him wear regular underwear so he knows when he's wet himself. Praise him when he does go. Don't make it a chore, make it fun. Make a chart and put stars on it when he goes potty like a big boy. If he has 14 stars that week take him to the zoo or the park or buy him a toy at walmart. Start out with a low number like 5 stars, and work your way up. Once he starts going, he will like to use the potty instead of wetting himself.

Answer 5

Make it a game. They sale dart boards that you put inside the potty or you can use cherrios and it makes it fun for them to aim. Also offer rewards after each time, or put together a big basket of his favorite things and say if you go one week without any accidents then you will get this reward and each day that he goes with out an accident add something to the basket which builds it up to something great to him.

Answer 6

Offer him a reward if he uses the potty

or

After he makes in his diaper and asks for a change, deny changing him for a few minutes. This being uncomfortable will teach him to go on the potty.

Answer 7

I heard about a game you can play. You put cherrios in the potty and try to get him to sink the cheerios. Boys like it, and want to pee all the time just to play the game.

Answer 8

Promise him some sort of treat if he uses the potty.

Answer 9

use the potty at the same time.

Answer 10

Be patient!
There is no "right age" to be potty trained, kids will do it when they're ready to do it. And there's evidence that kids who are pressured to do it before they're ready actually take longer...so relax. Have it available for him to use, and he'll use it when he's ready. Don't push.