How do i ask for money instead of presents for a wedding?

Question

Me and my partner are sending out our wedding invitations. Because we have owned our own house for 2 years we would rather ask for money donations that presents but are unsure how to word it.

Answer 1

Simply put, you don't. It would be crass to explicitly request cash.

The best you can do is to say that you have chosen to not register anywhere because you don't need anything for the house (or because you've lived together for so long already or whatever). I think MOST people would take the hint and just give you cash. Even this action might border on the edge of bad taste, but at least it addresses the matter of where you are - or in this case, are not - registered, which some people will want to know.

You should be inviting people to your wedding because you want them to witness your union (what should be one of the happiest days of your life). If you can't bear the expense without receiving compensation in the form of monetary gifts, then you should have a smaller wedding.

Answer 2

Gosh, I think I have read about 30 versions of this question in the last month. The answer is, you DON"T ask for anything. You don't "word" it in an invitation at all. Gifts are NOT mentioned on ANY printed materials, whether it be in a lame little poem or on the invite itself. So very rude and tacky. People have turned weddings into such a money making scheme. Two of the most asked questions I have seen here are "How can I make my wedding really cheap" and "How do I tell people to give me money?" Are you people for real? Have you ever been invited to a wedding before? Nothing, either monetarily or in the form of a gift, should be expected at a wedding. People are sorely lacking in manners theses days. When a gift is given, you accept it graciously, and if it's not what you wanted...well too bad.

Answer 3

I know how you feel... i dont want a toaster, i prefer the $20 instead, lol... but if you feel shy and you dont want to tell people or put it in the invitation than say: "an American express or Visa gift card would be awesome!" Sooo they dont go giving you a home depot gift card when you obviously have no use for it... a visa or amex gift card can be used everywhere, and it's just like cash... so that's the nicest most politest way to ask for money, without actually mentioning money and you'll be able to pay for what you want.... and dont worry about not being able to find a $3 item bc you have $4.50 left on it, just tell the cashier that you're paying $4.50 on a card and the rest cash or whatever form of payment you have, i've ran into that problem sooooo many times.... good luck!

Answer 4

Don't! anybody who knows you well enough to be at your wedding will know you have already owned your own house! once people get a invite they start asking around if you are registered and that's either when someone other than the couple says "oh well they lived together this long what could they possibly need" and you say not much we've got each other we just want you there to share in our happy day People will either keep bugging you and say what do you really want or get the hint that you don't need anything and money is acceptable! or you will get the occasional person who shows up with nothing anyway!

Answer 5

You don't. If you're big and clever (stupid in my book) enough to get married, then you should be big and clever enough to realise that a gift is a gift is a gift. You don't have the right to specify. If you do, then it becomes a request or a demand. Who the hell do you think you are to request or demand the way,shape and form in which you receive your gifts. You may feel as though you are the most important two people in the world at the moment, as you bore everyone to death with the pro's and con's of your pathetic little day, and no doubt, on the day itself that feeling will be multiplied to levels that even Saddam Hussein would have had trouble dealing with. However, to most people, with odd exceptions like your mothers (you've probably had the cheek to accept 'help' from one or both of your fathers) the 'big' day will be a big inconvenience and a big expense, and NOT an opportunity for you to line your pockets.
Try taking a leaf out of my 8 yr old sons book - He has never ever once asked for a thing at christamas. He waits until Christmas morning and gazes in awe and wonder at what he has been fortunate enough to receive...and then, he always insists that he rummages through the pile to find presents for us to open first. It seems to me he has fully grasped the concept of the word 'gift' - Good God, I'm so proud of him, and if I were your parents, I would be so ashamed.
Yes, you guessed it, you've really incensed me on this one, and you will incense many if not all of your guests if you go through with your selfish little demands.
I doubt somehow that this will have made the slightest impression on you - such greed and self imortance takes more than the odd lecture to de-program, but on the off chance that other people have told you the same, then try wording your trendy little bespoke invitations like this...."Gifts: not required - Just the pleasure of your company please"

Answer 6

You don't. You shouldn't even ask for gifts, nor should you expect them. Weddings are not about getting or giving gifts. Do not put anything like that on the invitation. It is rude to even mention it.

That being said, what you can do is not register anywhere, then let your family and attendants know that if anyone asks, they should say something like "I know Bob and Jane are saving for "fill in the blank", so I'm sure that they would appreciate the gift of money (or a gift card to xxxx). Otherwise, if you have your own house already and don't want anything, then don't worry about what you get, and just be thankful that your friends and family shared in your special day.

Answer 7

It's just so rude to do that. I would feel embarrassed as a guest as all I could afford would be a very small amount (It's expensive living in London!) and I would rather buy them a small gift for their house than put £20 in a card, they would look at that and go "£20??? is that all??". They would think I was mean as it's only £20 (that's my week's shopping money, so I would starve for a week if I gave that) so try to think of how your guests would feel, and honestly, would you and your husband criticise the amount some people gave? I bet you would, it's human nature.

Answer 8

in the Asian families its quite traditional to write somewhere on the invite 'no boxed gifts please' the guests can then take that as no gifts or just money. But obviously u cant go to a wedding empty handed so you should get money or vouchers. Actually not been to a single asian wedding for the last 2/3 yrs where it hasnt been the case.

Answer 9

"The recipient can't be bothered with actual gifts that you spent time and money to pick out, and instead would prefer to be a money-grubbing selfish boor. So cough up cash or gift cards only, or don't come."

Ok, what is with people?! I think I'm gonna start copy/pasting this answer because this is becoming a very common question! It is soooooo unacceptable to ask for money. People are spending their time and money to get you something, and you have no right whatsoever to dictate what they do with their hard-earned dollars. You are also never supposed to mention gifts on a wedding invitation......your inviting them to the event-not asking for presents-get that strait! If I saw someone asking for only money on an invitation, you'd be lucky if I gave you ANYTHING! You may think this answer is mean or rude-but this is exactly what will be going through your guests heads, so bear that in mind!

Answer 10

Hi dont worry about, im getting married next year and this is what we are doing as like you we have everything we need, So presents that are given would not get used and be a waste of money for our guest to spend it on. Just put on the bottom of the invites,
Please could be have money gifts in replacement of a house gift as we have already got the necessitys we need, and we would like for your money to go to good uses rather than wasted ones and we would feel better nowing they arent going to get thrown out in a few years or put to the back of the cupboard and forgotten,

Im going to say something along these lines, maybe not quite the same, but what is above is the truth and there is nothing wrong with telling the truth. I would rather give money to a couple who doesnt need nothing that see my money get shove in the back of the cupboard or got to someone else.