My mother has run off to spain with her lover. She is bleeding my dad dry, (he is letting her, still loves her) She has started phoning him, and me, drunk, and verbally abusive, she said i should not talk to him. He did not do anything but pamper her all her life, 47 yrs, he is too soft, now he is paying. I am going mad here, i do not answer the phone to her anymore, so she leaves abusive messages. When i call on dad, every day, he is so stressed out, cause she is saying he has to give her everything, gonna take him for every penny, im scared he`ll have a heart attack, he is 69. I HATE my mother, she abused me all my life, my brother is at the end of his tether, he gets no where near the crap i am dealing with, i have a lovely life now, this is spoiling it, but i cannot ignore my dad, i love him, and worry so much. I think this will end in tragedy, any tips, to make dad see sense? He won`t go for councelling, it is all getting far too much for all of us, yet she still rings, abusive.
2007-01-03 08:19:08 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I don`t interefere, they are "bringing it to me" my dad needs me for support, mum just keeps ringing me, non stop, when she is drunk. I do not interefere at all, my life is being imposed upon, it is the other way round.
2007-01-03 08:52:49 · update #1
If she was not happy, she should have got out years ago.........not abuse her children, which is what she did, i left my first unhappy marriage, i did NOT take it out on my kids.......i have no sympathy for her.
2007-01-03 09:20:58 · update #2
Help your dad to rid himself of that vile woman, he deserves it.
Then ask your mom to p*ss off for all what she has done. Change contact nos, move into a different address.
All the best!
2007-01-03 08:31:33 · answer #1 · answered by Calculus 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure you know everything about your parents past?
I don't mean to suggest anything, but could there be any reason other than that your mother is being totally selfish and mean?
Not that you could have done much anyway.
I suppose you could always suggest to your dad to change his phone number, or phone BT and ask for that number from which you receive abuse to be blocked.
But eventually it's up to your dad to make a decision.
Maybe he doesn't want to take any drastic measure hoping that she will come back?
It's really sad. xx
2007-01-03 16:30:33 · answer #2 · answered by Kc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried speaking to BT or whoever deas with your phone line and asking them to place a bar on any incoming calls from overseas? I believe this can be done. You don't even need to tell your dad that you have done this, let him think that she has just stopped phoning and he might start getting on with his life again.
Failing that you could always take the abusive messages she has been leaving to the police and let them take it from there. Not sure what they could do with her being overseas but i'm sure there must be something.
2007-01-03 16:28:54 · answer #3 · answered by L D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That sucks dude.
Sorry to hear that, the law is on your side in this case, (from the limited info) tell him to get some legal advice.
If anything it sounds like she should be supporting your dad, after all he's looking after you guys.
Try telling him that he's the only one that can help his children now an that your mum shouldn't let your future suffer by bleeding him dry.
Take care an good luck.
2007-01-03 16:26:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would maybe just speak to a lawyer for advice and maybe suggest to your father he does the same.
Im sure there is a way she is not allowed to contact yous directly but only through lawyers. i know you might not want to do that but it might be for the best just now.
And I dont want to upset you anymore but maybe your mother does feel hard done by. Maybe she didnt have it as easy as you thoguht or maybe she just wasnt happy for a long time.
If she married young and had children young maybe she is just trying to live a little and see what she thinks she had missed out on.
Giv eit time I know its hard and Im thinking for your dad.
I hope everything does work out for you in the end.
2007-01-03 16:24:58 · answer #5 · answered by CLAIRE S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the comment, that he ought to change his phone number.
The seek legal advice, of what she can claim. She may be entitled to part of the house. But she can hardly take everything.
He'll be hurting, and probably doesnt want to talk to a councellor about his problems. It'll take time for him to get through this. He may not see your way of thinking right now, but just be there when he does.
I really would see a solicitor about it. And tell her you're doing so.
2007-01-03 16:27:23 · answer #6 · answered by Kat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a nightmare, you shouldn't have to put up with this.
I think you dad should get some legal advice, and you should both change your phone numbers, then you wont have to listen to her being abusive all the time.
Good luck
2007-01-03 19:53:33 · answer #7 · answered by talula 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't speak with your Mom when she is drunk. If she is abusive, don't talk to her at all. And as hard as it is to accept, your Father is an adult and he knows your Mother much better than you do. This is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! I know you love your family, but get on with your "beautiful life".
2007-01-03 16:25:53 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Both you and your dad change your telephone numbers NOW. Sit back and enjoy the peace. She has no right to abuse anyone xxxx
2007-01-03 16:22:04 · answer #9 · answered by starlet108 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Umm.. i can really see your situation her! I sorta had the same thing happen to me.. but my DAD left, and it was hrd seeing my mom cry, but i was 15, so it WAS a lot harder. but I had spent a lot of time with my mom, in your case dad, to make her forget about him, and i eventually got my dad out of her mind. and she had put herself on match.com and got married again. basicly it is comfort. and alot of it!!
2007-01-03 16:26:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋