What do you regret and what have you learned?

Question

What do you regret about your past relationships and what have you learned from them? And did you apply what you learned? Did you change yourself in any way?

Answer 1

What do I regret? Trying to be the hero, trying to save the world, being so committed to my responsibility to others that I've, at times, neglected even the most basic responsibilities to myself. I regret opening up and being damaged by people who "I should have seen through."

What did I learn? I learned that I need to pick my fights better. I learned that while it's good to put others ahead of yourself at times, you have to stay true to yourself, and know when you're doing too much. And I've learned that there is no "seeing through" people. It's an unreal expectation to think that I'm going to meet someone... and innately know their objectives, their goals, and whether or not they're going to hurt me.

It's almost like I've beaten myself up for not seeing into the future. Who can measure up to that sort of standard? Nobody.

I guess what I've really learned is that love is love. It's not nuclear physics, it's not rocket science, it's not something that can be analysed, calculated, measured or justified. It's not something that's open for projections. It plays its course with us as we make ourselves conscious participants in eachothers lives. And while, in theory, we're free to leave at any time, it's love that binds us to the circumstance, despite the potential for pain.

As for change, a week ago I'd probably have been too bitter or cynical about this to answer it from my heart. How's that for change?

Answer 2

Even though they were hard......I would have to honestly say that I don't regret anything because I wouldn't of learned from them. I am more wiser stronger and much happier. I applied everything I learned to better my next relationship. I have learned from the lessons and I can turn them into positives so I have no regrets. Plus I have the knowledge to maybe someday help others by my own lessons Ive learned. I feel if you look back and regret things you can't possibly grow and you will not have really learned anything and will most likely make the same mistakes over and over until you learn from it.

Answer 3

The regret has been the knowledge each relationship gave into me. The regret was only that i could not stop earlier, but the regret turned to hatred turned to wisdom. I am wiser, with each relationship. I have stopped to expect, even if i still do expect. And the learning continues...i still would not stop expecting, and i still do have so much to learn...applying what i learn would be like applying everything theoritically, and no, i do not want to do that...i apply where it is necessary, the precaution, or else i just move on, and still keep learning.....am i changed ? what do you think ?

Answer 4

I regret the way a few ended, and a way a few never had a chance. It changed me, not necessarily in a good way. I learned that all women are different, and so is every relationship, none are the same and need to be treated differently. What you learned in the past will not necessarily help you in the future.

Answer 5

I think my biggest regret is not taking the time to find out who I am. What makes me happy and what my needs and wants are, because I am important too. I was raised by dysfunctional people and realized to late that I could not ever make them happy because they did not know how to be happy.
Before your regrets pile up on you and your asking why? Find out who you are and what your needs are. Be on your own for a few years, to know yourself and what you want and what type person you really need in your life. Be sure you do not pick someone who will "abuse" you in the same manner that you are used to. Don't turn to someone you feel you have to please constantly so they can be happy. YOU ARE IMPORTANT TOO AND THEY NEED TO MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF, AS YOU MAKE THEM FEEL GOOD.
Life is choices, think them over and decide what is right for you. This is not selfish, if you are not happy you cannot make anyone else happy. If you cannot love, honor and care about yourself no one can because you won't let them. If you can't love you God can't either. Be good to yourself it took me a lot of years to learn this. A friend with love.

Answer 6

I was really young when I got married and I regret not listening to the advise of those older then me that told me I was to young and that we should wait. We rushed into it and as a result we hate each others guts.

I learned to be patient and as exact as possible when choosing a women.

That experience changed me to the point that I know what I will and will not put of up with in a relationship.

Answer 7

Awesome question!

Regret about past relationship: that I didn't have the guts to end it when I knew it was over. I have that "need to please" gene and its tough hurting someone or at least...well actually, at best going through the "uncomfortableness" of it all.

What I've learned: I 've learned that its still not easy and I can't do it. Its hard for me to walk away from people...even at my own detriment...because somehow I believe I am still releasing "good karma" and I will ultimately be rewarded at the right time for my self-sacrifice.....seriously.

Did I apply it?: Its a work in progress.

Did I change myself: I'm changing right now! Look at me...I'm changing, I'm changing!!!

Thanks for that question. Very thought provoking....

Answer 8

I regret not being more outgoing when I was younger. I regret caring so much about what other people thought about me in High School, because it really DOESN'T matter what those people think. I regret not being more assertive with boys who wanted to take advantage of me. I learned later in life to fix those things, and will probably be fixing more things as life continues on.

Answer 9

The only thing I regret is being too shy before we were dating. If you think you like the guy, take the plunge and go out with him! I've learned that taking the risk of trusting and loving one person that much is completely worth it in the end.

Answer 10

i dont regret anything b/c at one point that was what i wanted. i do make mistakes though but i would never change anything b/c if i did then i wouldnt of learned. i did chnage i realizied that im not the only person that knows how to us e a phone and the boy does to so since i have stopped calling so often i get more calls and i am not as fustrated