My dad jst recently passed away and evn tho we werent close I still cant seem 2 getover his death.?

Question

this Saturday will be 3 weeks since my dad passed away.Me and my dad were never really close...we would always fight n argue alot n we never seemed to agree on anything.Now I feel guilty 4 sayin bad things 2 him and about him.Is that the reason wy I cant seem 2 let him go?All I do is cry and think about him constantly.Today was my 1st day back 2 school and it was horrible.I also ave no appeite or wanna participate in anything I normall do...am I depressed?PLEASE HELP ME!!!

Answer 1

You will never get over his death. It just gets easier to deal with the pain. My father passed away in 1998 and I miss him so much and wish I could have just one more day. This healing takes time and you'll be OK. Please don't feel guilty about going out and having a good time, he would want you to move on. However 3 weeks isn't that long, give a little more time.

Answer 2

Three weeks is a very short time in which to deal with the death of a parent, whether you were close or not. Grief does not follow a clock; you can expect it to last for quite some time and during that time, you will have bad days and good days. Let the feelings happen as they will. I think perhaps you and your father were close but that didn't mean you would agree on everything. At the very least, you can use this as a life lesson learned; that you never know when you will be talking to a person for the very last time. Things said in anger as well as things left unsaid can be difficult to deal with if that person is no longer there for you to apologize to or to tell how you feel about them. However, you cannot change what has happened and the best you can do is use this lesson for the future.

Answer 3

I think you already answered this when you said you guilty for saying bad thing to him. The best thing to do is give it time. I know that sounds cliche/used a lot but really I think it's the only way. Since your dad died you can't really resolve any of the problems you had face-to-face. I would suggest talking to a close relative about how you feel or maybe seeing a counselor because you need to get out what you're feeling-the guilt and all that I mean. You may also feel bad because you two were never really close and this may make you feel guilty. I think talking to someone may help a little. Best wishes!

Answer 4

Youve got to give yourself a lot more than 3 weeks sweetie! Dealing with something like this takes a lot of time and you are going to have lots of different emotions throuhout. The way you are feeling right now is totally normal and perfectly okay. I think that your main issue right now is that you are feeling so much guilt over things not being settled beforehand. My dad died 2 yeas ago new years day, and we were very close. Of course it was dificult to deal with, but i think that because we were so close and idnt have any unresolvd issues and spent a ot of time together it was a little easier. However, I think it makes me miss him more, and thats the hardest part.

I dont know hw religious you are, but my faih in God really helped me to get through the initial part, and get to the aceptance. If thats something you are willing to do, i would recommend going to church, talking with someone at the church or maybe a religious friend or family member.

The last thing may sound a little funny, but i have to admit it do it alot. Talk to you dad now. Sit down and just talk...tell him how you feel. I really think they are still with us and hear what we tell them, and the best part for you is that he wont be able to argue back or disagree! You can do this anywhere or anytime..before you go to sleep, in th car, outside...where ever you want! I really helps!! If you feel uncomfortable talking you could also sit down and write a letter to him, or you could also just start journaling to get some of your feeings and emotions out. It helps to be able to see it on paper.

Take your time with this, and god bless!!!

Answer 5

I went through a similiar time when my father passed away.
He was extremely abusive to me until my adulthood and he was extremely mentally ill.
I hadnt seen him for three years until he was hospitalized and for the most part I felt as if I were seeing a stranger, because in truth all he was, was a sperm donor.
After he died I dreamed about him for months, having conversations in a house we had once lived in, going for drives, moving to different places, all things that never could have posibly happened in real life. I slipped into a deppression no one could understand, but having been a nurse I was familiar with the greiving process and that gave me a little hope. I did a lot of introspection, reminding my self that the past is gone, there was nothing could have done and my duty to myself, my family, perhaps even my future husband and children was to move on and live life.

It helps to be in small gatherings of your closest friends and first, don't try hanging out with a lot of people or going to large events.
It is ok to break down and those you surround yourself with should understand that you are going through a normal and healthy grieving process.

Answer 6

Honey do not feel guilty for your dad's death! It can affect you forever if you let it,but even if you and your dad weren't very close i am sure that he would not want you to feel this way!! Life can be cruel sometimes and none of us know when we are going to leave this world,so do not think about the bad stuff just concentrate on the good times you had with him and that should help!! GOOD LUCK&GOD BLESS!!!!!! and i am sorry about your loss!!!!!!

Answer 7

In March, I had a double mastectomy, and made it by way of ok. I had earlier boost into critically anemic because of the fact of a few inner bleeding, and ended up getting a pair of emergency transfusions. So I knew what severe anemia felt like. directly to the story. The night of the surgical operation day, I suddenly felt very unusual, had the presence of ideas to push the call button - and the subsequent 2 days are a digital blur. i grew to become into bleeding out - speedy, and grew to become into rushed back into surgical operation (yet no longer till after 3 or 4 day after on the instant) and that they pushed blood and saline into me as speedy as they might. I virtually died, yet do no longer undergo in ideas yet a small part of it. I knew something grew to become into occurring, and surely, was hoping i could stumble upon my mum and dad (the two certainly one of whom had gave up the ghost in uncomplicated terms a million a million/2 years earlier) - yet as quickly as I did, i do no longer undergo in ideas that the two. It grew to become into an extremely close call. Now, i'm no longer afraid of demise - or perhaps the approach, merely the leaving of my family individuals with out probability to assert so long.

Answer 8

I was that way with my dad. He died 2 days before Christmas last year (2005). It has been hard but it does get easier to deal with every day.

Answer 9

Everyone grieves differently, and just because we argue doesn't mean we don't love someone - and trust me as your father he knew you loved him. He wouldn't want you to grieve over the bad times. He would want you to remember the good times.

Nothing can make us feel better when we lose someone so important in our lives, but over time it does ease up. My sympathies to you and your family.

Answer 10

when we experience ANY SIGNIFICANT EMOTIONAL EVENT we go thru a process.
here are the steps you will go thru....
knowing them may help you move thru them..

1) SHOCK

2) EMOTIONS

3) BARGAIN

4) DEPRESSION, GRIEF, LOSS

5) ACCEPTANCE