I've been dating a really nice guy, but the thing that turned me off from him is that he said that he loves me the on the second date, he said that I'm so special and he never met someone nicer than me ever, then he took my email and we started chatting and he started talking about sex and stuff, at first I thought he was a pervert, untill I told him that I'm a virgin, he said that he respect that and he doesn't care if I wanna wait til marriage, he said that he will stay love me, and he kept contacting me and send me messages, I do like him but this "I love you" thing made me back off a little, do you think he really loves me? is it normal to say I love you in the second date? and talk about kids and stuf the third one, I'm so confused....help!!
at first I thought he just want to get in my pants by saying I love you and stuff, but now, after he said that he's willing to wait, am not so sure about it anymore.
2007-01-03 07:39:57 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Is it normal? No.
There are only two explanations for this that I can see:
1. He's really inexperienced with the dating thing and he doesn't know that he's moving too fast. He's probably a bit immature. He might be "in love" with you, but he certainly doesn't "love" you. He may be infatuated with you, but he doesn't even know you, so right now he's in love with your looks and the personality that he's seen in you so far (and his mind filled in the rest, making you look perfect in his eyes). After a while, as he gets to know you and the initial fire dies off, you'll both learn whether he actually loves you.
2. The other option is that your intuition was right. He was just tryint to get in your pants. And the whole waiting till marriage thing is just a bluff to convince you he doesn't care about sex, so you can let your guard down. If he keeps testing this periodically, then this is probably what he's after. For example, he says he loves you and doesn't care if you wait, but a week or two later tries to sleep with you, then if it doesn't work, backs off but keeps trying later.
What I would do is tell him that you feel that the two of you are going too fast and he's a nice guy so you don't want to ruin things by going too fast (this way you don't offend him). Tell him that to love someone you need to truly know someone and you guys are not there yet, you're happy that he is really into you, but this isn't love yet. From there, just give him time and see what kind of person he turns out to be. If after a month or two he gives up because he realizes you really aren't going to sleep with him till marriage or at least till way later, then you'll know what he was after. If you guys are still dating 6 months, 12 months down the road and as you get to know each other you really start loving each other, then you'll know it's real.
Good luck.
2007-01-03 07:54:09 · answer #1 · answered by yishor 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
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RE:
is it normal to say I love you in the second date, and talk about marriage and kids the third date?
I've been dating a really nice guy, but the thing that turned me off from him is that he said that he loves me the on the second date, he said that I'm so special and he never met someone nicer than me ever, then he took my email and we started chatting and he started talking about sex and...
2015-08-23 04:41:07 · answer #2 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's trying to brainwash you. Ignore him all together. Dirty sleeze ball! How old are you? I am older and I know the game! He is a pervert to be talking about sex on the second date. I dumped a guy in the past who did that stupid shittt! Very diesrespectful. He doesn't deserve a call. Just ignore him and let him go into the voice box. He will catch on. Damnnn he really thinks you are stupid! But you are not because you are questioning his behavior! email me okay if you need to vent.
2007-01-03 07:48:16 · answer #3 · answered by renosgirl2006 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-17 05:53:16 · answer #4 · answered by steven 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I had a similar experience, and the guy really did love me. But I felt the same way about him, so it was okay.
In your case, it doesn't sound like you feel the same way. I would either tell him to turn it down a notch or quit seeing him. Otherwise, I think he is just gonna start being the really clingy type. Since you already seem uncomfortable, you don't seem like the type that needs a clingy guy...
2007-01-03 07:44:16 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Girl...that is very werid and a bit scary! lol
No, nobody should say I love you on a 2nd date.
I honestly think it should take months before you say I love you.
This guy is a bit weird though.
My advice is to set him down and talk about it with him. Tell him that its to soon for him to be saying I love you and that its WAY to soon to be talking about marriage or kids.
If he doesn't back off from it.....I think you should move on to another guy.
But all this is my opinon.
Just do what u think is the right thing.
Good Luck with this situation!!!
♥♥♥
2007-01-03 07:49:04 · answer #6 · answered by Country Girl 08 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you won't even consider engagement for 10 months and marriage for 18 months. At least it will give you time to evaluate the relationship through the daily trials. Maybe you will learn to love him in the 10 months, if not, you won't have to return an engagement ring.
He sounds a bit hinky to me....be careful.
2007-01-03 07:47:15 · answer #7 · answered by fluffernut 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok, this is a bit strange. I think he is either very immature & has no idea the difference between love & infatuation or he has emotional problems. Either way yiu don't need to bring it into your life...slowly taper off the amount of time you interact with him. He will speed up his frenzy to talk to you. Resist or just tell him outright. Saying I love you after 2 dates is weird.
2007-01-03 07:50:11 · answer #8 · answered by Kier22_2 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seriously...run! Don't walk...run! I'm not saying that he's going to do anything to you physically but you can bet there's a heartache for somebody in the near future if that keeps up. Better make sure it's not you. Truthfully speaking, he probably doesn't know what he wants. Do yourself a huge favor and get away from him.
2007-01-03 07:45:28 · answer #9 · answered by Tyr_74 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh honey, there is something wrong here.. can't say exactly what it might be but I agree that saying I love you to someone you hardly know is rushing.. and kids is a conversation for a relationship that is well on it's way, not a 3rd date topic. Be careful, and good luck
2007-01-03 07:44:38 · answer #10 · answered by Aunt Henny Penny 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋