This is pretty pathetic and embarrassing. How does a 37 year-old guy with VERY limited sexual experience turn?

Question

his life around? I am good-looking, and I don't look 37 (most people say I look around 28-30). I have an athletic, muscular build. I am very anxious around women. What would you do in my shoes (except hang yourself)?

Answer 1

I HAVE been in your shoes. It's a tough turn around. You're gonna get your heart stomped on a few times in the process too most likely.

Just start asking women out a lot, and you'll learn. Listen to them. If they like you, it will be clear. If they make excuses to delay dates or not go out, they're flakes. You just keep doing it until it doesn't scare you so much.

If you start now, you might get better at it by 40. I started at 40, and... I think of all the time I've wasted sometimes:)

Answer 2

Find an activity that builds your self-confidence. I'm sure you have something that is pretty easy to start doing, and you know will make you more confident. Do it!

After a bit of confidence, you can try drinking a bit when you're in social situations with women, but of course don't drink too much in your excitement. A small amount goes a long way towards helping you confront and engage a female. A large amount insures the complete opposite most of the time.

Find a girl you actually think you would enjoy spending time with and simply talk to her like you would a guy. Be less crude, and listen to what she says more, but don't think about her as a female, rather as a person.

When you feel comfortable, and not nervous, talking with her, or feel like you have the 'nerve' to ask, simple say 'I think you're a neat person and I want to talk to you more, here is my phone number.'

After that, be yourself, and don't give up if the girl isn't the right one for you. It takes time, don't believe the hype.

Answer 3

Well, you need to learn to stop being anxious around women.... anxiety is not attactive. If that is something you don't think you can overcome by yourself, you may want to find a therapist to help you.

If you think you can overcome it yourself, then you need to find ways to meet and talk to women. Until you can overcome the anxiety, you should do this on a "friends only" basis (in hopes that will lower your anxiety).

Once the anxiety subsides, then you need to learn to be open and honest with woman (e.g., tell them how you feel, etc.). That can be a very hard step, but most people in their mid-to-late thirties are tired of dating games and want someone who can be straight-forward.

Answer 4

SEXUAL experience is not the issue!

Who you are, as far as a person is concern, is what is really important!

For YOU to say that you are, good-looking, does not say much for your character! Why do you feel that you needed to say that?

If you are doing something, there will be people around you doing the same thing! The female will respond to you relative to her perception of you as a male! Her own mental image of you, and what the two of you might/may do to/with each other is more than 70% of preparation.

Your attention to her, and her female messages are also of the greatest importance! How you touch her, when and where you touch her, where you do not touch her, all support being together!

Listen to her, totally listen to her! Every word not said, said, every movement, how ever slight tells you what her needs are!

No two are a like, this is what you need to be aware of!

Answer 5

Meet new people, go to bars, night clubs, or sign up on one of those internet dating sites. Just look around, there is someone for everyone. Make sure you are confident, clean, and well groomed (women like that).

Don't be too clingy to the woman you are dating or insecure, trust her and let her have her own space.

Basically meet new people and get out talking having a good time.

Answer 6

Join some activities that you are generally interested in. Not to meet women but because you like doing this particular activity. If you meet a woman there she will already have some similar interests and that's a good place to start.

Don't get too stressed about it. Ask someone you like out for a coffee (this is a short quick get out if need be). If it goes well progress to lunch dinner etc.

Answer 7

It doesn't really matter what you look like if you don't have any confidence around eligible women. You need to exude confidence cuz many women like that. I would suggest you make more women friends so that you feel more comfortable around all women. Also, always be yourself. You might be surprised if you confess to a woman that you are interested but not very experienced. Some women find that endearing and hot!

Answer 8

Well, unless you expect to find your dream-girl in hell, please don't commit suicide....

It's hard to do this, but you you o start relaxing around women.
Smiling is the best trick.
I wish I could help you out more, but you have to froce yourself to think that not every single girl in the room is your crush. Stop thinking about the possibilities with the ladies, and just enjoy the present.
Most women will see how you enjoy life, and flock to you.

Stop focusing on getting girls, and just be yourself. It is the only thing that works for me around guys.

Answer 9

I recommend recruiting a trusted friend to come to your aid. Ask him (or her) to find a female who is looking to meet a good guy (you) and who would enjoy helping you out. With openness comes trust. Plus I think everyone likes teaching sex!
Note: Don't be too concerned about looks. Everyone is unique. Have confidence to be yourself as long as you are sensitive to her needs.

Answer 10

There are no shortcuts. You need to put yourself out there to meet and be around more women. You will gain comfort from expanding your comfort circle. There are plenty of women with little or no sexual experience either. If it didn't come naturally, we would never have grown the population. Be interested to be interesting. It will take care of itself.