My boyfriend is too overprotective of me , what can i do?

Question

My boyfriend is too overprotective of me , what can i do?
my bf is in the royal navy, and weve been together for 5 years. im 20 and hes 22. we were together for 3 years before he joined the navy. i love him so much and know i will marry him. ive seen a friend nof mine cheat on her bf who was in the navy and it devastsed him so much he lesft the navy, i could never do that to my bf. i know he trsusts me but while he is away he has his brother check on me several times a day to make sure im not with another man. his friends wont let me go out on my own with my friends, they always come. and when he comes home we have such a good time but if im wearing a skirt he tell me to put on something else cos he dosent want men looking at me. when hes home he says i have to sleep in his house to make sure im not with someone else.
when i told him he was too protective he said other men are like this. but i cant do anything on my own and tells me when he goes away he dosent like me going out with my friends.
what can i do

Answer 1

Trust is the most important factor in any relationship. Without trust, you have nothing. Your bf is so dominating that his brother and his friends are controlled by him--they go out of their way to watch you. He makes you sleep at his house NOT because he loves you but so he can watch over you. He wants to control who your friends are, where you go, and even what you wear. If that is what you want in a future husband--to be controlled and told what you can do and when--then stay with him. Otherwise, get out and find someone who wants to love you, not OWN you.

Answer 2

Run baby run! You want to marry this??? It only gets worse once you are married. If you were of certain religious beliefs, then this is normal and your life is totally under his and his family's control. But assuming you are not of these religions, then you have a unhinged boyfriend! The fact the brother is also looking in on you is worse! The whole family is nuts and perhaps dangerous.

He is too insecure and controlling. This is the type that ends up beating their wives.....you ready for that? Run sweetie, run before he or his brother ends up hurting you.

You are only 20!! You don't know who you are yet! Women don't get their feet on the ground until they are 28 or so.......there's a HUGE change between 20 and 30 and it's not just in facial wrinkles.

Answer 3

This sort of over-protectiveness hints at an underlying insecurity. It's understandable that men in the service are jealous because they never get to see their wives. At the same time, unless you follow a traditional family dictate that women need to be chaperoned by a husband or older male relative, and cover themselves from head-to-toe, his protectiveness will become jealousy, clinginess, and possibly abuse.

I could understand if he were insecure in a new relationship. But after five years? Does he really know who you are?

Best would be to talk with him, perhaps even see a counselor. When he's at sea, his mind shouldn't be on what you're wearing, but rather on his sailing duties. And frankly, I like it when my wife wears something attractive - I often tell her "Every guy in this place is jealous of me because I'm with you."

Answer 4

I think that you need to sit down and talk to him. Tell him how you feel. I think that if he really loves you like he says then he should be able to trust you. Trust is a tkey source in a relationship. I know that it may seems overprotective but he is not, he is jealous. He hates to even think that another man will take you away from him while he is gone. But I feel this way if he wants a sure way to stop men form coming up to you while he is gone. MARRY YOU. Most men feel intemidated when they see women with rings. With his piece of love on your hand he would be about to ease up and trust you a little more...

Answer 5

u calll that happiness...you had better run the other way as fast as u can...he is sick.....he will eventually abuse you almost all obsessives do. u can not go out with your friends....what kind of life is that....geez u were only 15 when u started with him...give some other guys a shot......there are great guys out there that willl care for u as much if not more and let u have a life....tell him in the break-up deal that "if u have trust u have everything ...and if u do not have trust u do not have anything"....u my dear do not have anything but misery ahead...please take my advice or I know that one day u will recall this and say "I was told about trust, but failed to heed the warning"

Answer 6

Hi, i think maybe he sounds a little insurcure and maybe does not know you as well as he thinks. I understand by being away alot he may feel slightly uneasy, but at the end of the day, to be in a serious relationship you need trust, its the most inportant thing, a realstionship without trust will only end in hurt, i hope things go ok for you both xx

Answer 7

An overprotective individual tries to regulate each and every little element you do: telling you who you may consult with, whilst and the place you may pass out, what you may say, and so on. I used to have a boyfriend like that. whilst a individual cares approximately you, he or she enables you to do what you do and merely be your self. A worrying individual would ask, "the place are you going?", even nonetheless, a controlling individual would stick to via asserting, "do not pass there." or "you may not pass." If he would not ever provide you any area, or continuously needs you to be with him, or gets upset once you consult with particular human beings, he's merely too controlling! unfastened the dude!! : )

Answer 8

That's not overprotection, it is unreasonable jealousy. Regular guys don't do what he is doing. The lack of trust will not get better, as he has assumed complete power over you and now controls your movements. What you need is to get a little distance, but do be careful, as although your independant thoughts will not mesh well with his single track possession.

Answer 9

Wait a minute is this your father for I wanted to run away from this creep after reading this listen no man should treat you as if you are in jail what happen to the friend doesn't mean its going to happen to you he needs to learn to let you breathe, to TRUST you and no he is wrong no man would ever treat his girl as if she is some lap dog that needs to follow orders tell him your not in the navy your a human being and he needs to start treating you like one

Answer 10

Get the hell out! It will only get worse if you get married and he may end up getting abusive-mentally or physically. I know you love him but he doesn't respect you. He treats you like a possession or a dog. This is a very bad situation that will only get much worse. Do you want to be owned or loved?