My friend has slowly started to move into my house with out really getting permission. First it was just staying here a night or two a week but now she is here on a nightly basis. She doesn't help much with chores, finances, or groceries but she does watch my kids at the drop of a hat. I have not asked for money bc she is havig a hard time herself, She has her own place 1 street over but it has no hot water and no heat. I have started to see a new guy and we are getting serious and are talking of living together. We feel that we have no time to ourselves and no time to be intimate bc she is always around. We are worried that she will start to cause problems with our relationship. I want to help her but I dont want her to be a wanderer or loafer.
2007-01-03 07:18:55 · 13 answers · asked by skinsoosoftt 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You have to be very straight and honest with people like that. Sit her down one evening and explain where your relationship is going with your new guy, and why you would appreciate it if she moved back home. She cant really refuse as the doesnt pay you anything. Offer to help her pack and take her there yourself. In a nice way. If she comes up with excuses then you will have to be "very" firm. Good luck.
2007-01-03 07:27:50 · answer #1 · answered by Vonnie S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have children and are thinking about living with someone.
I would consider the impact of that first.
Yikes......
As far as the friend you do need to be firm and tell her that you like having her around however it is a hardship too. We all need our privacy and you want to stay friends and have nothing jepordize(sp sorry) that. Thank her for all the help and tell her she has been a blessing however you need your space too. To be a good Mom and know you can do it.
best wishes
2007-01-03 07:35:15 · answer #2 · answered by travelingirl005 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would speak with her about her situation. See if you can help her in job hunting so she can turn her heat & hot water back on. Tell her she can come over for showers and on really cold nights you wouldn't dream of her sleeping there, but kind of make it known you appreciate her watching the kids but you need some space for you and your new beau.
2007-01-03 07:28:57 · answer #3 · answered by jaws1013 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's no longer phased relating to the style you experience approximately her staying on on your place indefinitely,so why ought to you spare her emotions? you have been a mind-blowing pal through offering her a place to stay in an emergency.i'm accumulating she is a grown female? if so,she ought to be responsible sufficient to locate her own way and not be a drain on others. you have performed your bit as a pal now it somewhat is her turn to teach her appreciation and admire through having the hell out of your place in the previous it includes you having to ask. don't be terrified of having somebody think of badly of you.If she thinks you're a huge ol meany 'reason you asked her to head on,this is her issue and he or she desires to strengthen up.
2016-11-26 01:06:41 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to tell her. I would tell her your boyfriend is moving in. Let her know that she will need to move out. Offer to help her pack her things and move her. Also offer to help her with her job search and getting heat and hot water in her place.
Be kind but be firm. Let her know you appreciate her. What might be helpful is to set a time limit when she needs to move out.
2007-01-03 07:40:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont diss ur friend and help her get her life on track then u can have ur's and maybe god wants it this way moving in with this guy might be wrong. just help ur friend and tell ur bf to get his mind off sex thats why he wants to move in do ur kids even like him ? help ur friend out or tell her that u want some alone time could she wacth ur kids at her house or apartment or maybde u and ur lover could go to a hotel. just tring to help be nice bye
2007-01-03 07:56:01 · answer #6 · answered by it's HG !! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i know exactly what your going thru. and i finally had to just tell my friend that my bf and me needed a little personal space. and she was kinda miffed for awhile, but she got over it and understood. i told her we would still help out whenever she needed it, but that we needed some alone time. i also let her know how much i appriciated her doing what she did to help out at the apartment. so try to approach her seriously but not harshly. good luck
2007-01-03 07:45:56 · answer #7 · answered by Gage's Mom 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no easy way to tell someone to get out. What just came to mind is write her a letter and close the letter with "we'll talk more about it tonight".
2007-01-03 07:43:14 · answer #8 · answered by Baby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit her down, explain that she has to move because it's causing a problem with your relationship. Explain that you will assist her the best way you can.
2007-01-03 07:47:12 · answer #9 · answered by uneekqamar2004 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just sit her down and tell her to go get a job and a house or start paying some rent
2007-01-03 07:38:32 · answer #10 · answered by Kayla I T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋