In my heart I love my fiancee, but my head keeps casting doubt:
3 months ago I asked my fiancee for time apart. things were moving too fast, and we were getting serious. She was very upset, but I insisted and didnt see her for a month. I realized how much I loved and I asked her to take me back. At first she was still angry at me and she was dating someone else. She kept dating him, but I kept asking her back for about 1 week. She eventually forgave me and we are engagd again. Recently I found out that she did not have sex with the other guy until the night before she took me back. I think she wanted to experience him, but I also wonder if it was a way to get back at me. She told him she would go back to me, so that night she admits they did it almost all night, three times. We have talked a lot, about how she was hurt, and I have expressed its ok to tell how she enjoyed the sex. we are back in love and my heart knows that, but I cannot stop my head from being jealous. advice?
2007-01-03 07:16:15 · 22 answers · asked by downtokissit 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Your head tells you what's going on and your heart keeps you going. Look at the facts that you gave us to analyze, as a head would. Then analyze the facts that a heart would. Then ask yourself this question, the facts in my head say she did not trust my love for her to wait ,and my heart felt pain for the cheating she did, now why am i still with someone that would do this to anyone?
2007-01-03 07:23:32 · answer #1 · answered by fdhgasehrt t 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You were the one who wanted the seperation do you honestly believe its illogical for someone to date whilst your apart she didnt know if you was coming back or not so she had sex with this guy before she came back to you she wasnt unfaithful she was a normal human who wasnt sure she was doing the right thing in coming back to you also she wanted to have a try out with him she shouldnt be blamed and maybe she had a great time with himand this was her way of thanking him
you will never understand a woman and jealousy your feeling is natural and you will probably feel it everytime she mentions a male friend or you see her look at a man or a man compliments you about her what you going to do ask for a seperation each time or just be thankful she loves you enough to come back in the first place
2007-01-03 15:24:30 · answer #2 · answered by shannara 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The head screws up a lot of things...it started with the head thinking you were moving too fast.
You can only fully accept what was - there is nothing changing the past. You must accept your emotions about the situation. You can not resist any part of it.
Then you have to look at why you are jealous. What is the root of the jealousy? Fully understand it. Be with it.
Something in you may resist or think it is too painful, but the only way out is through.
Between the two...you may find it is gone.
~ Eric Putkonen
2007-01-03 15:25:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get over it!!!!! You are the one who asked for time apart. Moving too fast??? You asked her to marry you...what so you expect? You wanted time apart and I suppose you really just wanted her to sit around quietly and wait for you. The grass is not always greener on the other side. She is back with you...so let it go! The other part is why would you ask her if they had sex? That sounds like self torture to me!!! In the future,don't ask questions that you might not want to hear the answers to. If things are fine for you two..and you are going to marry one another...let it go. This is your problem (jealousy) not hers...don't punish her for the way you feel!
2007-01-03 15:26:07 · answer #4 · answered by yidlmama 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You won't like my advice because I'm too honest. You screwed up. You refused to commit to your fiancee and then she withdrew her commitment to you. If you want to resume your relationship, you should apologize to her for not committing the first time and put the whole episode in the past. That isn't what I would do. I'd find someone else and start over.
2007-01-03 15:22:35 · answer #5 · answered by anyone 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Jelousy is caused by insecurity. It sounds like you are not sure of her love. Talk some more with her and ask her if she is willing to faithfully commit to you then just trust her. I know it is har dbut it will get progressively easier. You be aithful to her and treat her right and there will not be a reason for her to leave you.
2007-01-03 15:32:10 · answer #6 · answered by sl2mickey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe if you grovel and beg some more she'll let you spend your life working to buy her a house and nice car and then take it from you in a divorce after she spends a couple of years secretly banging all the guys in the neighborhood.
2007-01-03 15:23:08 · answer #7 · answered by You Should Be Pied 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Trust your heart on this one. If you truly love someone, you will forgive them for the wrongdoings of their past. Also, don't forget that it was you that requested the time apart, so if she did something during the time apart, that really isn't her fault for finding someone else to turn to when you pushed her away.
2007-01-03 15:20:42 · answer #8 · answered by Maverick 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hey, you let her go and she went to someone else. How is this HER fault? Do you really expect her to stay abstinent for you if youre dumping her for every month you feel like it? GET REAL HONEY
2007-01-03 15:17:35 · answer #9 · answered by Mayonaise 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So, she's never had sex with anyone but you and this guy?
Get over yourself. YOU asked for time off. What did you expect?
2007-01-03 15:19:01 · answer #10 · answered by Phoenix, Wise Guru 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋