I want to go out of state for college and they ( mostly my mother) won't let me without a fight. I mean she wants me to go to UIC instead of Purdue. Any suggestions?
2007-01-03 07:14:54 · 15 answers · asked by Zena 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Zena, my cousin had the same conversation with his mom several times. It took several of the family to come into this and talk with her. She insisted he go to junior college and then a local state school, while living at home. After several of us (all with graduate degrees) sat and talked with her, we realized several things:
1) My aunt was terrified of her youngest leaving home.
2) My aunt, having never lived on-campus away from home, thought that colleges were good only for drugs and sex.
3) My aunt had no idea of the difference between the caliber of the business schools.
4) My aunt had no idea of how much potential her son had, and how much it would have been wasted at a local school.
5) My aunt was afraid out-of-state school would be unaffordable (fact is he got a substantial scholarship, and even with loans it's a better deal)
Parents want what they believe is best for you - but they don't understand all the points of some very large decisions like college. For instance, if you're going into engineering, Purdue should be an easy call over UIC.
Call up a school counselor and perhaps have him or her help you talk with your mom. She may not understand why you want to go to Purdue, or it may be based on other concerns such as money, emotional need, etc. But if you go to a college that prevents you from achieving, it can serve as an upward bound on your career.
Contact me through my avatar if you need more help. I'd be happy to talk through some ideas on schools - I was the first grandkid to go to college, so I've walked each of my cousins through it.
2007-01-03 07:22:16 · answer #1 · answered by Veritatum17 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cost is a major factor. In-state UIC will cost less than half of out of state Purdue. Also, UIC's tuition will not change after you start. Both schools are considered to be good schools. Purdue is known to be an Engineering school and UIC more of a health science school. However, your degree will only help you get you first job or two. After that, employers care more about experience than anything else. Can you justify a huge debt and will you be able to repay it?
2007-01-05 08:56:14 · answer #2 · answered by Lea 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The expense may be a big factor in her reasoning. I guess I have a few questions for you though...such as:
1. do you know what type of degree you want?
2. Does UIC offer the classes and degree program you are looking for?
3. Are you prepared to help pay for some of it?
4. Have you earned any scholarships or applied for grants?
I have 2 kids in college now and a third will be going this year. They have both paid their own way. We helped with spending money or books, etc. But the education was paid for by my girls. Some through scholarships and grants and the rest they worked for. They both have 2 PT jobs and go to school full time.
I did not have any problem with the schools they chose because they are paying for it and have earned the right to choose. If I had to pay for it, they would be going to community college.
I paid for my own education and I appreciate what I've got. And I don't owe anyone anything.
2007-01-03 15:51:40 · answer #3 · answered by Jane 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say this, but parents think they know what's best for you because they really do know what's best for you.
You've probably heard this before but: when you have kids, you will understand. I didn't until I myself became a parent and I'm chagrined to say that yes, my parents were right. About everything.
Now, regarding your college issue: find out from your mom (if you haven't already) what her reasons are. Is it financial? That's a pretty important reason. Really listen to her, show her reasons respect, show her respect (parents generally won't listen to their kids if their kids aren't showing them respect). Be empathic to her reasons. Say "I understand why this is important to you because...".
Then, in a calm, respectful manner, give her your reasons why you want to go to your school of choice. If there's data you can give her to help back up what you are saying, show her. If she says "no", stay calm, and respectful while you try to prove your points.
But in the end, if she wants you to go to her school of choice, try to come to terms with it, and try to like the school. Explore the place and try to find things that you will like, make it a good experience. Don't spend the next 10, or 20 years lamenting the fact that you didn't go to ABC school. Things aren't always what they are cracked up to be, so much of it depends on what you make of it.
Also, a lot of employers really don't care where you went, they just want you to have the degree.
Oh, and good luck in school, whichever one it may be.
2007-01-03 15:23:54 · answer #4 · answered by Your Highness 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because they have more experience in life. You've lived with them all your life and they might not feel that you are mature enough to be on your own at an out of state college. They probably want to see how well you adapt to college in the same state before you at a distance from them.
2007-01-03 15:19:24 · answer #5 · answered by Smittie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her why the reasons and start getting some scholarships to go to Purdue maybe that will help the cost and you can go from there
2007-01-03 15:17:36 · answer #6 · answered by Angel Virgo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your parents are scared to let you go. They want what's best for you, but at the same time, they're afraid of missing your everyday communications with them. Tell your parents that you will always be there for them and that you are determined to go to this school, because it's the best place for your major and everything you want is there. Discuss this with them and see what they say. Observe their reactions and then your on your way!
2007-01-03 15:20:58 · answer #7 · answered by tweety 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They have been where you are in life...they know what it's like to start your life as a adult. It's still your choice of course, but still listen to them. Their advice will often save you alot of hurt. Also, your mother is worried about you being on your own (especially in another state). That is completely normal and understandable and trust me, they usually DO know what's best for you.
2007-01-03 15:21:07 · answer #8 · answered by alleycat930 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Parents don't want us to go out of state ,because many people go out of state and become unfocus and mess up all the money your parensts saved up for college. Out of state colleges are high anyway.
2007-01-03 15:20:53 · answer #9 · answered by Honey 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who's paying?
Out of state college is a lot higher than in state.
Just a thought.
Best wishes
2007-01-03 15:19:35 · answer #10 · answered by travelingirl005 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋