Should I start putting my foot down and refuse my son's father from seeing his son?

Question

My son is 3 1/2 and his father only really wants to see him when there is a holiday and on special occasions. He doesn't pay any child support until its pay or jail. He always has some excuse why he can’t see him. I think I let him get away with too much cause he doesn’t do anything for his son yet when he does call and want to see him I make arrangements so he can. I never wanted money to be the reason that they don’t have a relationship. But times are getting tight and my son is getting to an age of understanding. My son’s father likes to put guilt trips on people and make people feel like he is the victim. For example, X-mas he saw him Sat and Sun before and then on X-mas me and my son had people to visit and he did not make it down to see his dad. Well his dad got his whole family to e-mail and call me trying to make me feel like a bad person, saying he has another family. If I'm going to look like the bad guy maybe I should put my foot down and stop this convenient father crap.

Answer 1

GIRL HELL YEA YOU DONT NEED THAT YOU CAN BE THE MOMMA,DADDY,AND SANTA YOU DONT NEED NO DEAD BEAT *** DADDY FA YA CHILD GURL YOU BETTER DROP HIM

Answer 2

I don't know where you're from, but in MI they have this class that you have to take before you can get divorced it's called "smiles" and talks about putting your children first.

This guy may have hurt you, or it may tick you off that he doesn't pay on time, but weather you like it or not your son is not only yours, he's also this guys.

You shouldn't let your son know if his dad is paying child support or not, that is an adult situation and not a childs. Let your child see his dad for who he is on his own with no inturpation from you or anyone else.

If the guy is bad then your child will see the bad and will hopfully decide he doesn't want to be that kind of dad when he grows up. If the guy is good then it's good for your child to grow up with two parents.

All in all if you prevent, get in the way, or say bad things in front of your child about his dad he will one day resent you for it, and that is not what you want.

Answer 3

Unfortunately you can't stop your son from seeing his dad just because of child support issues. As for his family, there's nothing you can do about it. More than likely daddy is telling the family that you're not letting him see his son and he only sees him on holidays to look good for his fam. Start e-mailing and calling his family and asking them when he's going to start seeing his son (innocently). Tell them that your son has been asking for him and he never seems to make it over your way. Option two is to stop letting him see him tell him to take you to court for visitation rights and child support will be taken care of at the same time.

Answer 4

I think that you should make arrangements with the courts for the child support and it's enforcement. Tell his family to stay out of it and make fair arrangements for the holidays. Then disregard what he does as far as his family.
I don't think you can or should withhold your son from seeing his father because of the child support. You can have legal issues in that regards. Let him see his son but make it clear and in writing what the arrangements will be then have it legalized, if you don't have that already. Then if he does not show on the arranged days, go about your business on your days. Exception would be extenuating circumstances.
When your son is older he will realize what is going on and make his own decisions.

Answer 5

I would have to agree with you. Tell him that if he wants to see his son, then he'll need to catch up with the child support, start paying child support on a regular basis...and a new one....get health and life insurance on the boy until he's 18. If he is not mature enough to do that, then he's not mature enough to be a father and see him. He may be his biological father, but any male can be a sperm donor. If he was a "real father" then all of this would be taken care of. Best of luck to you.

Answer 6

I think you should receive child support. Even if you put it into a savings account for the future, the man is required to pay. As for visitations- I think it might be in the child's best interest to stop with the random, unreliable visits.
It sounds like this man learned a lot from his own father: manipulation, irresponsibility.

Answer 7

retreating the youngster's medicine without perfect scientific supervision is baby ABUSE!! come back on your lawyer to have the courts evaluation the Joint Custody. This guy isn't in positive condition to be in fee of a canines, by no ability techniques a baby with a psychological incapacity! Get the youngster's physician to order a evaluation of his concern and practice a scientific report for the family individuals court docket...and do it NOW! there's no time to lose in looing after your youngster's well being and welfare.

Answer 8

No.

What's between you and your ex is between you and your ex. He should pay of course. Him not paying is not right. Pressure him. Drag him to court, Insult him, yell at him, pull the usual stuff. But for Heaven's sake, don't involve the child. It's none of your son's business that your ex and you don't get a long.
You son needs his dad even if he is a pig; it is still his dad. Keep your son out of it.

Answer 9

the whole conveneint only for him thing!!! unfortunatly child support and visitaition are two totally seperate issues. you could look at like ok he sees him when he feels like it but at least he sees him. the whole guilt trip thing would suck!! tell him to grow up and realize that this isnt about him its about your son!! he is little but very fast will he realize well why didnt daddy want to come see me and all that other fun stuf

Answer 10

i say take it to a lawyer or court advisor and let the judge know what is going on and what you can do.