it is very hard for me to disiplin my 2 teens since my father never disiplined my sistor and I,we still respected him however,but he always said he could not get mad at us for fear something bad might happen before he seen us again,and he couldnt live with the fact the last time he was with us would have been a bad memory,my question is do other parnets raise their kids that way?
2007-01-03 06:56:24 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Gosh I guess Im misfit,would be nice if someone would do my job and take care of my household chores then.
2007-01-03 07:06:57 · update #1
no because you guys must have been really good kids because if you look at the world today and see a lot of kids who are getting no direction they are ruining their lives and the lives of other people. i truly believe unless it is a knock down drag out fight if god forbid anything happened to your kids the last thing you would think about was did i ground her for not doing the dishes? man she must have hated me and now i will only think about that in truth if something did happen that she should have gotten in trouble for you might end up blaming yourself for why was i not a little harder why did i not stop her/him more or say no children feel safe when given limits and rules they may not act like it but saying to your child i love you to much to allow you to cause your self harm or grow up to be a jerk says a lot. it's funny you mention this because we currently have a cousin who is living with my in-laws who has been around me and my kids a
lot lately and she keeps hearing me tell my kids things and sees the things that they have to do around the house or risk getting in trouble for and she keeps saying i wish my mom was a little harder on me and made me do more and if i didn't had got on me because now i have learned alot of things the hard way she has been fired from several jobs lost several apartments has not had a lot of successful relationships with men friends and co-workers she understands that at 33 she is responsible for her own actions but she is realizing more that she did not have the tools she needed to at least have the base she was the only child from a single mother who felt guilt so let her get a way with a lot more and over Christmas when we sat and talked about this with her mom she said i didn't want her unhappy i wanted her to have good memories and so i was not as hard as i should have been and she has learned some lessons like not everyone or every job is going to say hey talk nice and use a respectful tone sometimes your just going to get fired and some jobs wont be like your mom where if you didn't do the work they say hey guys could you help me out here they just fire you. discipline with love is the key not lack of discipline in the name of love because God willing they will live to be a 100 and you want to know you taught them everything including the rules for life that they will need to succeed and be happy!
2007-01-03 07:28:42 · answer #1 · answered by peterpansdate 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course that is always a question in a parents mind but to a point you have to live normal. If it borders on never using any kind of discipline because a parent might never see the kid again and the last memory is bad then its an abnormal fear. Anyway, discipline is to teach and instruct and guide so in that way you must or you will distroy your child. A child that is never disciplined in a misfit in society.
2007-01-03 07:03:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
You know, your philosophy is beautiful but maybe not practical. I really try to make the best with my kids too. However, my main goal is to raise them in a manner that would allow me to die today knowing that they could take care of themselves and be kind to others. I also want them to know when to have fun and when to follow through with their responsibilities. IF the way you are raising your kids is still teaching them to take care of themselves,be respectful and end up being wonderful, happy,well-adjusted people then keep on keepin' on!!!
This does not make you a freak of nature.....it just makes your parenting style , yours and yours only. Don't let them walk on you...make sure they know to give you full respect and make sure they know kindness is not weakness!!!
2007-01-03 07:15:22 · answer #3 · answered by yidlmama 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sadly...lots of parent DO raise their kids that way...but not a lot of kids raised that way grow up to be responsible , hardworking proactive or other essential qualities one need to be successful in life. however good your dads intention or however strong were his fear i have to disagree with him with the lack of disciple you had in your life...Please don't make the same mistakes as your dad or else your children will do the same and your children's and grandchildren,s lives will be affected...my experiences have taught me the discipline does not have to be about anger,fear,or any other negative emotions but a joyful journey you take up in life with your family to enrich,teach( and learn) and generally make all our lives more fulfilling...Think discipline as love and not fear or punishment and all your fears will be replaced by joyfulness.
PS if your dad theory held water we would not get out of our houses with that fear...million things could happen
good luck...god bless
2007-01-03 10:35:12 · answer #4 · answered by Bob P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it somewhat isn't any longer common to declare with the aid of all their faults, my mom and dad did an amazing job. They raised 4 extraordinary and effectual little ones. we are all self sufficient, have good jobs and handle others with admire and compassion. I do the final i will with my 2, even however on the age of seven i in my opinion can not be sure what variety of adult adult males they are going to be. i will in basic terms desire that I surely have controlled to instill in them a similar values my mom and dad did which I carry to this present day. genuine now they are incredible little ones. they are extraordinary, variety and efficient. even however I nonetheless ought to make it interior the process the teenage years. this could be a query to probable answer in yet another 2 a protracted time, when I surely have 2 youthful adult adult males who call me mom. Then i'll be waiting to tell you greater precise what variety of people I raised and then possibly i ought to have an more suitable answer. even however on the 2nd, i will desire for no less than a similar, and if obtainable exceed what my mom and dad did.
2016-11-26 01:04:34 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you haven't been disciplining them and now they are teenagers, it will be even more difficult. But believe me when I tell you, teenagers do not need their parents to be their friends, they need their parents to be parents. And the job of a parent is to teach their child how to be a kind, thoughtful, smart, independent human being who has morals and a strong sense of self. They need to know the difference between right and wrong and it doesn't do them any good to spoil them because when they get out in the real world they expect things to be given to them. They need to respect their parents. And you need to do all of that with a healthy dose of love thrown in. Raising children is the hardest thing you will ever do, but if you love them you will discipline them. If you need help knowing how to do that, there are plenty of help groups for parents with teenagers.
2007-01-03 07:12:17 · answer #6 · answered by truthseeker221 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No. Children need disipline. You don't have to be mean to your children, but it is important to set limits for them and to enforce those limits.
2007-01-03 07:02:10 · answer #7 · answered by swanser 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
children need disciplining but also lots of love and affection my son pushed me very hard when he was little but as soon as I laid the law down he was relived and stopped acting up
2007-01-03 08:45:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no.....you have to disapline them its part of being a parent........maybe thats why we have so many disrespectful lil shits runnin around today
2007-01-03 06:59:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋