ok this guy i know loves me so much. would do anything i ask him to. he wants to date me but all i feel for him is friendship. i have told him this over & over but he still is asking my friend to get me to date him. i dont want to hurt his feelings but it looks like its going to be the only way to get him to understand.what would you do? he is a good friend & i dont want to loose that but it maybe the only way. need help fast.
2007-01-03 06:50:13 · 15 answers · asked by dixiefredyellow 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
U r skating on thin ice. First of all make sure you don't ask him to do anything that you wouldn't ask a friend to do. That would be abusing the way he feels about you for selfish gain and at the same time you would be giving him false hope by asking him for things that normal friends wouldn't ask for. Tell him the truth, that you really want to be just friends and him constantly asking for dates is making you uncomfortable but you still want to be his friend. He will react in one of a few ways depending on his maturity level. He can possibly go off the deep end and just run away in which you may not see or hear from him for a short while or maybe never again. He could get upset and hurt at first and than calm down but from that point he might act not like himself towards you because he still has feelings for you but wants to comply with your wishes. He could just totally accept it and everything will work out ok and you would have nothing to worry about. Whatever the case may be, blunt honesty without any sugar coating is the only thing that will work and to go with that there needs to be a certain level of preparedness on your part for any reaction he gives.
2007-01-03 06:59:34 · answer #1 · answered by J-Dub 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you like someone else? If so you could tell him that. Are you sending him mixed signals? Make sure you aren't too touchy feely with him. Some people are naturally affectionate to all their friends and people who are not used to that type of expression might misinterpret those actions. You sound very sweet. You might have to distance yourself from the friendship for a while in order for him to get over his feelings. Good Luck. Leesa
2007-01-03 06:59:35 · answer #2 · answered by mike j 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would give him a chance. Go out on one date with him and tell him that you just want to make sure there is nothing more that friendship between you. If it doesn't work out tell him and he might feel better that you actually gave him a chance. If you realize you like him more than a friends it will be good for both of you.
2007-01-03 06:55:43 · answer #3 · answered by meghanhappy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
men and women can't be friends (watch When Harry Met Sally!)
therefore, if u know he has feelings for u, as his Friend, u have to stop talking to him too much. let him go, distance urself, so that u stop using him for male attention, and he stops developing more feelings for u. the nicer u are to him, the more "fun" u have together as friends, the more he will like u. that's it, u are pretty much torturing him! so if u are his true friend, u'll push him away to find new girls. when he gets a girlfriend, maybe u can talk a bit more normally... good luck!
2007-01-03 06:53:30 · answer #4 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him that you want to be friends and that maybe in the future you can be more. If you arnt honest with him then he might get the wrong impresstion and get hurt later on down the road and maybe even worse. Just make sure that he understands that.
2007-01-03 06:53:24 · answer #5 · answered by redhottreject06 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you're in a dire situation there..........it's ok with you that you like him but it is indeed impatient on his part................now there can be two types of such cases , one that are serious with you and want a relationship but also want proximity so that some frustration can be lost simply by touching, kissing etc etc ..........but there's another category who actually are frustrated and it is only lust that they think with their partner and a time comes when they would leave or dump after having enjoyed all of it or less...........so you 've to be very careful...............my advice is that if you find him from the first category than do date him may be with a friend of yours or as you feel appropriate .........but if he's otherwise ..........avoid him.............
2007-01-03 07:04:33 · answer #6 · answered by mobi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he one of those people who always wants their own way? Have you tried being firmer with him?
I would try not to show him any positive body language and only wait for him to make contact with me, until he stops talking about it.
Once he understands, you can make a stronger friendship again.
2007-01-03 07:00:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
DATE HIM.........stop using him for what he does for you.
What the problem? That's how it looks by the info you give.
He's there when you "need" him but he gets noting in return.
So, stop using the guy. If he is such a good friend than why should it be so hard for it to grow into something more.
2007-01-03 06:56:11 · answer #8 · answered by Tree 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is your friend he wouldn't push this issue and make you feel really uncomfortable. Maybe you can sit down and tell him how you truly feel and that what he is looking for will never happen.
Good luck with this.
2007-01-03 06:55:14 · answer #9 · answered by jaws1013 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he won't take no for an answer you will have to end your friendship. Are you sure you aren't passing up a very good relationship?
2007-01-03 06:55:18 · answer #10 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋