I must be the world's worst man...I can't retain a relationship,not one, let alone a gf of one month..help!

Question

I need help and advice on how to change my ways, I've broken so many hearts not really meaning to, but doing stupid stuff I shouldn't be doing: lying, being an ***, just basically not treating a girl right and I've come down to it, im just too immature when it comes to this sort of thing. However, I feel so depressed about it and I want to change; a complete 180, i want to stop being the person i am when it comes to girls and be a man who appreciates his woman and wants to be with her and wants to committ and wants to be the perfect gentlemen. Some will say I havent found the right girl...some will say I'm just born an asshole and will never change, well, I want to change damnit. Im tired of being this guy who gets shitted on and ***** up every single relationship and being disrespected by everyone who was friends with that certain girl....im in a horrible situation and Im facing the music as we speak, I want to be a better 24 year old. I want to treat women well. I need your help...

Answer 1

Here's my best advice to you my friend...

First of all, Every relationship is different.. true some may say that you haven't found the right girl, but you have to remember.. a relationship is made up of TWO people... not one.. so it's not all your fault.. it's only HALF your fault.. so just get that in your head... it's not all your fault...

second.. who knows.. maybe those girls weren't really ready to date a guy like you... I mean... you are who you are... there's nothing you can do about it... change takes time.. so maybe.. the girls that you've gotten with... really DID NOT get to know you well enough... so there's another thing.. MAKE SURE they get to know EXACTLY who you are...

okay... enough of that... now this is my advice..
so let me tell you about it in a little story...

everytime I get with a girl.. all the time.. I always wait to kiss the girl.. I always wait for everything... I take my time...
now.. I don't jump straight into the relationship... without knowing what the girl wants out of the relationship...

so you might want to hold your horses in a relationship.. and maybe ask your future girlfriend HOW they want you to treat them..
you should start thinking about that...

also.. i mean... to go from one relatioship to ANOTHER...

i mean.. GOSH!! WHAT THE F*CK!!
don't you ever learn from your mistakes???

I mean.. you HAVE to learn from your mistakes!!
you can't keep doing the same thing all over again!!

but i'm not going to criticize you... even though I just did.. lol..

ok.. now.. how to change... hmm...
the best way to change.. in my opinion, is to face your fears...

do you have any fears? is there something that you ALWAYS wanted to do? Is there something that you feel you can never do?

well, my advice.. is to try and conquer your fears.. try to do new things.. try new things...
this will built your confidence..
and I know you're asking.. "What will confidence do for me?"

believe me... confidence will do a lot for you... it will give you bravery.. and will built your self-esteem...
who knows.. by trying new things... you might have a change in taste..
try listening to NEW music...

go ahead and give yourself a try... and stop lamenting yourself..
and about the lying thingy..
i mean.. why do it? my best advice for that.. is just simply.. try other things.. like white lies.. or not lie at all..
honesty can really change your point of view in life..
that way.. with honesty.. girls can SEE WHO you TRUELY are!!

Answer 2

Well honey,it's time to grow up and accept responsibility for your actions.No one is forcing you to be this way.In the words of a great man{Dr.Phil}JUST STOP DOING THAT.you need to know that you'll be one lonely MF if you keep doing this.How is your relationship with your mom.Do you repect HER.If not then you need to think of a female that you DO respect.Treat women the way you would someone you respect.The first and most important thing you should do is to be honest with yourself and these women.I don't get WHY everyone lies so much.i mean i'll tell WHITE ones to save someones feelings but I'm basically an honest person and people trust me b/c of that.They CAN trust me.I'm reliable and it's not such a bad thing.I speak my mind ,I'll give you a good answer and if I can't I'll find someone who can.For these reasons I have been blessed with a man who will love me forever and one I can trust.I've been blessed with good friends that respect me as I respect them and i can honestly say that they would do anything for me.I work hard to say and do the RIGHT thing so that I can enjoy a great relationship with my family and friends.It's a great feeling to know that I have so many people who love and respect me and who will always be there for me.If you want good things in your life then you need to DO good things.YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!Good luck

Answer 3

If you really want to change, then DO IT. Work on yourself. Be honest with yourself first. If you really want to change - you can and you will. It sounds to me like you are serious about doing some work on yourself. That is good.

Why not try treating women as people, first? Treat women (and all human beings) the way you would want to be treated. I will tell you I think the first thing any woman wants is RESPECT. Listen to her. REALLY listen. Do not fake anything. DO NOT LIE, DO NOT CHEAT. TELL THE TRUTH ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT.

Make sure you are being really honest with yourself when you say you want to change. Is there any way you could get some professional counseling? It really does help. Try perhaps seeing a female counselor.

Answer 4

What you need to do is analyze what you've done wrong in your previous relationships, and make a conscious effort to do the exact opposite. Think before you speak, and think before you act. Over time, it will become natural but its going to take some work. You might also want to try therapy or some form of counseling to figure out why you've mistreated this women, because there is a deeper issue there. You can change, just be patient and give it time.

Answer 5

Aaaw, I love that you feel the need to change something you don't like about yourself and I would definitely say by putting this on the world wide web is a big bold statement of your goal.

Sit down and write out a list of your Pros and Cons. In one column, write down all the awesome things about yourself and in the Cons column do the same. Post that on your fridge and make it a point to try to work on one Con a week. Make ammends with those you've hurt in the past; but don't go out of your way to contact them. If they are "around" then be brave and do the right thing.

The first thing to do is to take this self assessment and see how far it takes you.

Good Luck!

Answer 6

well, somehow i am relate to what u are saying

well ur already on ur way, youve identified where it is you want to be - the question is - can u make the effort??

well, i would suggest staying single for a significient amount of time, you could prob use a few months off from the dating scence, I think you can take that time and see what exactly it is you want from life and relationships, try and find urself again - take a break from dating

write it down, or keeop whatever uve descovered inside: and dont go looking for just anyone

look for a someone, whom u honestly share a connection with

that way: u''ll see: it will all work out in the end


good luck

Answer 7

You seem like you KNOW what you want, and how to treat a woman....so it's not like that you're ignorant ...it's just being immature with friends perhaps to let them think you don't care what a girl thinks etc...If you're 24 and you arn't treating woman with the respect they deserve..you should be seeking counselling help to figure out why you can't appreciate a woman and respect her..or you'll end up a very lonely sad person.
Good luck

Answer 8

Okay...are you for real? Cause I've heard this line of crap before. And a leopard can never change his spots. Forcing yourself to be something you are not is a bad thing.....

If you are sincere then the best place to start is with yourself. I'd say stop dating/sleeping around for a while. (or whatever it is you do) Look inside yourself and discover who you truly are--and then when you are comfortable in your own skin then you can pursue a relationship with someone. Remember honesty and trust are the foundation to a good strong standing relationship. I'm sure there is someone out there for you.

Answer 9

well... my advice... work on yourself before hitting on a girl at your next gig (soz.. read the profile).. if you know the ways you dont treat girls right do your best to change them. instead of being an a** to her, send her roses or some kind of flower. instead of demanding stuff from her do lil things, like cook dinner for her.dont humilate her infront of your friends either, chicks arent just pieces of meat put on this earth for a mans entertainment. every body has it in themselve to pull a total 180. ive done it. mayeb you should do some soul searching, cause maybe the reaosn isnt that you dont wanna change... maybe you just cant change on your own...





or maybe just find a girl as immature as you... could always work?

Answer 10

Well you obivously know what you are doing wrong so dont do those things anymore. As cliche as it may sound, treat a woman with diginity and respect, love her for who she is and not what she looks like, give her attention and love. Dont say stupid things that hurt her feelings. You apparently know how to act like a gentleman you just have'nt done it. Start doing it. It will become habit and second-nature after a while.