How do I get my parents to see that "You Can't Judge A Book By It's Cover"?

Question

I met this guy in college.We have been talking online and in person ever since the first week of school.On the first night we ever talked, he asked me out.I turned him down saying that I didn't even know who he was really, which was true.He has since asked me out 2 other times.Both times w/ rejections b/c I was not sure I wanted to be in a relationship.Since then, we have both gotten and broken up w/ other people, but still have been drawn back to each other.It's crazy, but the more I talk to him, the more into him I become.The only thing is, I know my family will never approve.He's got long stringy black hair, tattoos, & a tounge ring.He's from Chicago & has a cocky attitude due to his parents' money and what he buys w/ it.He also drinks and smokes extensively.He comes off as someone who is unapproachable,but to me he's completely different.He's such a sweetheart.How do I get my family to see him the way I see him, and not only what's on the outside before I turn this into something??

Answer 1

that's part of it..but u know what.

if YOU change for the Positive because of this relationship, they may learn to respect him. think of it this way: if you are Happier,Healthier, More Positive, Smarter, More Hard working, etc etc, because u guys make such a good couple, then more likely than not they can't say anything bad about him. if u change for the NEGATIVE, however, then they will get every little thing they can to say bad things about him, down to his stringy hair.

what u need to do is learn to find relationships and meaning in life for Yourself. THEN, when u are seeing that it is going somewhere serious and u want to integrate him into your life, ask him to be polite, considerate, and put his best face forward when meeting ur parents. if he cares, he will do his best... whether or not it works, u will just have to see. ur happines is most important in the end... just remember, if u are unhappy, depressed, lonely, mistreated, etc, because of this guy, even if he was King of the world, ur parents wouldn't like him! so make sure u live ur life to the fullest, someone to be Proud of, and eventually u will prove that u can make good decisions on ur own terms. :) good luck~

Answer 2

Your folks might be thinking that you are getting attracted to the "bad guy" image and be wary of your choices. A lot of young females are attracted to a fella who has a kind of bad guy look about him and believe that this is cute etc. But if you do decide to met up with him and go out on a date then he would be wise to come to meet your folks and be polite and talk with them also. He may offer some insight and they may actually have some same interests Ie; he and your dad might discuss sports or whatever and this could help change how they view him. But be careful with meeting people on line as a lot of the time they are not actually who they claim to be. Best of luck and I am not going to advice you any way other than what I have already said as you are a college lady and as such should be mature enough to follow your instincts and know inside if your making the right choices. Best of luck in both your educational pursuits and your dating habits.

Answer 3

Actually, most of the time, you can SOMEWHAT accurately judge a book by its cover.

The cover here is the hair, the tattoos, the tongue ring, even the aura of unapproachability. We'll call being rich and from Chicago neutral.

However, the cocky attitude, the smoking and drinking extensively are the book!

How much is he willing to do to accomodate you, and not just in getting past your parents first impressions?

Answer 4

Invite him over to your parents for a weekend. Walk around in your underwear and tell him to accidentilly walk in the the bathroom while your mom is talking a shower in his skivvies.

If your family keeps any alchohol in the house you should tell him to help himself without asking, also to raid the fridge and leave a mess on the counter. If you have a sister he should be very friendly to her, stare at her breasts, and maybe even pat her on the butt a couple times. He should also address your dad as Pops.

Yout parents will see how much class he has and it wont take long before they are as endeared to him as you are.

Answer 5

do you think that maybe for one day you could dress him up and fix his hair just until the meeting with your parents is over with and if he's fixed up then they can get to know the real person behind the stringy hair and tatoos. I believe in not judging someone based on their looks but I know how parents can be. That would be the only thing I could think of.

Answer 6

LOL YOU CAN judge a book by it's cover- the guy chose to go out of the mainstream in a very blatant way to make a point. He sounds like a jerk with a weird personality disorder if he changes his attitude depending on who he's around. Oh yeah, and he's a pre-alcoholic too? He sounds gross- can you see him as the father of your kids, drinking and smoking, acting all unapproachable????

Answer 7

I think you are turning him down when he asks you out on dates because you are afraid what others would think, especially your parents.......And you asked the question of how to get your parents to not judge a book by its cover, well, have you even introduced the guy to your parents? How do you know your parents reaction if you havent introduced them??? This is all in your mind because you are feeling a little guitly about being with him too.....So, its not your parents, its your guilty feeling or how your parents would react although you hadnt even introduced the guy to them

Answer 8

Your parents job when raising you was to have you become a working, valuable part of society.

Your friends outward appearance and attitude is a defiance of society. By dating him, you are going against what your parents hoped for you.

He may be a nice guy, but if he chooses to present himself that way, your parents are going to have strong reservations about him and his affect on you.

I know thats not what you want to hear, but it is human nature to judge a book by its cover.

Answer 9

But Can You Judge a Book by Its First Line?

Answer 10

People say trust your first impression.....
In this case your 1st - 2nd - 3rd impressions were not to go out with this guy....

So before you try to "convince" anyone about this guy and the book beneath the cover maybe you should look and see if your trying to overly convince yourself into a relationship with him..