Couple of days ago, I was on a long flight, and there was a small kid on the plane who started crying when the plane took off. Usually, screaming kids bug the hell out of me, but this time, I could relate, because the kids ears hurt because of the pressure change. However, the mom was not as sympathetic as the other travelers. The woman first let the kid cry for 15 minutes without giving him gum or hard candy that can alleviate the pain (even after the flight attendant offered her both sugarfree gum and candy).
Then the mom got annoyed, took the kid's pants off and started spanking the poor kid, and kept doing it for about 10 minutes, until the kid was blue in the face Of course, the kid screamed even more, because he was in even more pain.
I disagree with spanking in general, but I thought this was especially disgusting, because the kid had not done anything
I could not take it anymore, so I finally yelled at the woman to stop. Was I rigt to do that, or did I meddle too much?
2007-01-03
06:23:21
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18 answers
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asked by
jimbell
6
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Pregnancy & Parenting
➔ Parenting
No I don't think you overstepped your bounds at all. I have 3 children and we don't spank them. Kids act up when they are bored, in pain or being ignored. Mom needed the reality check from another person.
2007-01-03 07:09:29
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answer #1
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answered by Anonymous
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you did what you could under the circumstances. some people forget what it's like to be a child and how much more they feel things than adults do...or at least they can't cope with stuff as we do.
yelling might not have been the best course to take because overextended emotions doesn't always calm overextended emotions, but I understand where you're coming from.
what I probably would have done is been more sympathetic towards both child AND mother because like I said, not all adults remember what it's like to be a child. I probably would have gone over and directed my words to the child first like "oh, poor sweetie. is it scary for you? do your ears hurt? mine hurt too." etc. then turned to the mother and repeat those things to her in a sympathetic and calm tone like "poor things, they're so little. it's scary for them and they don't know how to cope with things like this and they also don't understand why our ears hurt and stuff. they don't have the words to explain what they're feeling so we kinda have to do it for them." then probably ask the mother if it was okay to offer some candy, preferably sugarfree. usually by that time the mother has calmed down because she's probably nervous and irritated by the same things and probably doesn't know how to cope with it herself. if she says no to the candy, I wouldn't question it, but I'd turn to the child and ask if they know how to yawn, then show them how to do it. sometimes keeping the child busy takes some of the pressure off.
this doesn't always work, but it does most of the time and it helps not only the child, but the parent as well.
2007-01-03 06:42:21
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answer #2
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answered by Ms. Roger Rabbit 4
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The only thing you did wrong was not yell at her after just the first 10 SECONDS of spanking!!!
What's wrong with her?! Her poor kid. That's child abuse. I agree with ONE quick spank to correct certain behaviors, but in this case that you've described a spanking was neither necessary nor appropriate. And certainly not continuously for 10 minutes. I'm surprised it was only you who confronted the woman, and not other passengers as well! Shame on her.
2007-01-03 06:40:39
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answer #3
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answered by catwomanmeeeeow 6
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Well, first off, I think you should change the tittle of your question, you're showing people how closed minded you are by generalizing when u say "Why are people so bad at parenting now, no one disciplines their child about inappropriate behaviour in public?".........I dont know where you live or your surroundings, but where I live (SO California) "People" now a days are not how you portrait them in your question, Yes! some persons really suck at parenting, some others try their best. But dont say NO ONE disciplines their children. I assume you dont have any kids, otherwise you would be a little more respectful to the great job some of us have. We raise persons with a mind of their own, we cant control them like you would control a robot, and much less if some noisy uncle/aunt/friend gives them some sugar. I can not tell you why kids on your area behave like that, but I could think why, i mean both scenarios sound boring for children, so no wonder why they act out, and yes they show to be children because thats what they are. My son is a 3yr old, he's gone on flights from CA to Germany (13hr flight) and he knows better he is not supposed to kick seats or anything else that is not "kickable". And even with his 3yrs of age he knows how to respect others; so now u tell me how is it that "people" this days dont know how to raise/discipline their children, when u alone dont even know how the job gets done. Dont take it to the heart, but just dont walk through life assuming all parents are bad at parenting just because u had some bad encounters with some children; suck it up, not all of us are that bad at parenting, u'll see soon ;)
2016-03-29 06:10:11
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answer #4
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answered by Anonymous
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That is a very tough position that you were in. I am not a fan of spanking either. Yelling at her was probably not the best way to get through to her, but then again when dealing with people like that there is NO good way to get through to them. They will get on the defensive and strike back at you usually. If they are willing to hit a child like that they would have no worries about yelling at you. I would have ask the flight attendant to say something, and if it still didn't work probably would have done the same thing as you, except I would have asked her name first and called the Dept. of Children and Families as soon as I landed.
2007-01-03 06:30:54
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answer #5
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answered by Should be Working! 4
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I am a person who does believe at times kids do need to be spanked. However, only in special situations and only after the age where they can understand what's going on and only a swat or two ect....
However, it sounds like this lady went too far. I definately don't believe in this type of spanking described.
2007-01-03 07:11:16
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answer #6
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answered by Anonymous
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While I do believe in spanking (in moderation and only as a last resort) you were totally right to say something. I would have yelled at her too (if the situation played out exactly as you say).
2007-01-03 06:27:14
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answer #7
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answered by Anonymous
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That would have annoyed me too. The parent of this child obviously does not know how to occupy him and comfort him. You did the right thing by saying something. The parent obviously has no respect for others and just made the situation worse instead of comforting the child.
2007-01-03 06:32:31
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answer #8
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answered by Trese 5
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My God! She was spanking the kid for 10 minutes????? You were completely right to intervene! I would have intervened at 1 minute, I'm sure.
Good for you for standing up and saying something!
2007-01-03 06:35:41
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answer #9
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answered by just me 4
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I agree with spanking but what that woman did was just RIDICULOUS. That isn't even bordering child abuse--that IS child abuse. I spank, but that is only as a last resort. I would never spank a child (especially with their pants down) for crying.
I think you did the right thing by stepping in...I know I would have.
2007-01-03 06:29:23
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answer #10
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answered by CelebrateMeHome 6
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