I'm meeting a Japanese person for language exchange...how to prepare?

Question

I posted an ad in craiglist and she responded, that was luck. It was luck cause i had posted many other times and nobody answered. Well, now she responded and we will probably meet.

The question is...i've had experiences meeting foreigners and meeting lang exchange foreigners through craigslist and most of those times It ends up faling: They don't have time, they are not interested and don't contact me after the first time we meet... and also I feel worthless and feel like they hate me. Since i have had many sad experiences with foreigners, everytime i try to find another conversation partner I feel negative and feel like i'm going to be hated by them. 

Note also i'm not your typical american , so i feel always that they expect MORE and that they are pretty disappointed in meeting me. I'm a shy person who is not outgoing and who doesn'even have friends. I just lead a lonely life so i guess they would think i'm stupid. However, i also do have some good qualities

My good qualities i guess would be i'm a good listener and i like to help people. I'm also interested in foreign languages and cultures. How can i forget all the past junk of bad experiences and feel happy in meeting some new person?

Answer 1

Well Firstly you somewhat outgoing... you posted a ad on craiglist... with somewhat of a expected response or wouldn't have kept on placing the ads.

Anyway here's my advice...
1. Always act as if it the first time. Everyone isn't the same... everyone isn't going to have the questions and answers.
2. Think positive thoughts, so positive things will come out of you mouth as you speak and you will have a more positive appearance.( don't think ooohhh goooshhh she going to hate I'm so boring, She going to be disappointed or will think I'm stupid.)
3.Think of question to ask about her personal life maybe, you do you have kids, or pets... do you work if what do you? Do you like the United States. Keep these questions in mind so you seem interested and it will keep the conversation flowing.
4. Smile

When the other folks have not contacted you after your first meeting did you try to contact them?
What do you mean you are not your typical american??? and Why are you so lonely. Join a gym or some sort of workout class. Or look into you local community college for classes.
( you know like cooking classes, computer, knitting, or swimming) What about work... or school. You know you have to pursue people not wait for people to come up to you.

And why if you have so many bad experiences with "foreigners" why do you continue.

Answer 2

Well, don't talk about yourself as though you are a loser. Being interested in languages and liking to help people are good things. Your partner should appreciate that. If you already know enough Japanese to be conversational, then maybe you should go places like a museum or something. Then, you can still speak Japanese, but you'll be able to talk about the paintings/sculptures/artifacts. That will help with your shyness, I think, because you don't always have to talk. When you can't think of something to say, look at the exhibit or comment about it.

Just because you are selective in your friends and are not compatible with the average person does not mean you can't make friends. If you and the other person find that you are just not what the other was expecting, just move on. Don't let it get you down. Nobody can get along with EVERYONE!

Each person is different, so this Japanese partner will not be the same as your other partners! It's a new beginning!

Answer 3

Depends on your level of experience and expertise with Japanese. I took Japanese in highschool and my class would host a group of highschool students from Japan every year. From experience from that, the best thing to do is to start with very simple personal questions. Things like "what do you like to the do for fun?", "what's your favorite food?", and "where do you live?" are always good ice breakers.
Other than that, since your meeting one on one, I would suggest meeting in a public place like the food court of a college campus or a coffee shop. Socialable places are generally good, but I would choose one that matches your level of comfort.
If your interest in learning and mastering a different language is genuine, it will always show through. I'd suggest letting that interest be your primary motivation. It should help you 'ride thru' linguistical, cultural or personal obstacles. It alone may give you the courage you need.

Hope that helps.

Answer 4

I think when you have bad experiences they should make you stronger not weaker which they seem to have done in your case. Dont let the past bother you, push on to what lies ahead. You don't have to be outgoing. Just remember when meeting new people not to dump a lot of problems on them right off the bat, it will scare them away. Just be friends, kindle that relationship, and ease them into your venting.