So my boyfriend and I have been together for over a year now and he only lasts about 2-3 minutes in bed. I thought he'd last longer after time but he hasnt. I don't know what to do bc I am losing interest in sex since I dont get anything out of it. We dont have foreplay bc I think its pointless, especially if he's the only one getting pleasure. I really need suggestions because it is ruining our relationship. I've talked about it with him and expressed that I am not happy with our sex routine. I'm sure he feels bad but he only says "sorry, I can't do anything about it". PLEASE HELP ME!!!!
2007-01-03 06:07:16 · 31 answers · asked by Jessie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He has to go to the doctor..if not get a new boyfriend..foreplay is fun..do it.
2007-01-03 06:09:42 · answer #1 · answered by fajita 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many times, the problems that occurs with men not lasting long does not have to do with anything physical, but mental. It really is all in his head. He thinks that he needs to last long to please you and it is all that he thinks about. However, sex should be more about enjoying the time spent together and not "how do i get to the end". The solution in this case is to both relax into the moment and have fun with it. The more relaxed he is, the longer he can last because the focus has shifted from "achieving orgasm" to "enjoying the moment".
It will also help if you could, to be blunt, back off a bit. When you talk to him about the problem, instead of expressing that you are not happy (and making him more nervous about performing), you should communicate together about what does work and what would help make the feeling last. But telling him that you are not happy, it causes a mental block for him and he then reverts back to being consumed with "lasting" which then causes him...not to last.
Let me say this last thing. Be comfortable with sex. Make it something that is enjoyable and fun, not a session. Porn has made sex into this grunt fest where the only way that a woman is happy is by making her groan and moan with pleasure for several, SEVERAL minutes. Sex should be more about your bond with your boyfriend. It is something special. Treat it that way. Don't be too consumed with the way your sex life is going. If you want to be with this guy and you want to be with him for a long period of time, let it be and focus on the other things he does well. The sex will get better with time. Be open and patient and you will soon find that he can last longer than you imagine.
2007-01-03 06:21:35 · answer #2 · answered by runjitchandra 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should really make him pleasure you first with some kind of foreplay. You'd be surprised how much foreplay can actually do, with the right amount of foreplay you could get off from sex in 2-3 minutes as well! You should let him know what you like, what makes you feel good. Foreplay isn't for the guys it's for the girls. Foreplay shouldn't be about pleasing him, he should be trying to please you! Condoms help on his end. Also there are desensitizing sprays/lotions you can get for him so he wouldn't get off nearly as fast. Changing positions, stopping for a little while helps also. I hope this helps!
2007-01-03 06:15:14 · answer #3 · answered by iowabballgrl20 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
cant do anything about it?!!? screw that hon, there is plenty he can do. Foreplay for a start, he should be eating you until you can't stand it because you've come so many times. Also, he should be jerking off before coming over. Also, there is a technique that requires more discipline than this lazy *** has but if he can stop all movement about 5 seconds before the point of no return, and do that 2 or 3 times, it can have the effect of not allowing him to come at all. This one is best saved for either the all nighter or a 3 way.
2007-01-03 06:13:08 · answer #4 · answered by fabrat1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look around and find you a hot looking, experienced stud. Invite him over to your place and introduce him to your boyfriend. After everyone gets to know each other, go to the bedroom. Pull a chair up next to the bed and tell your boyfriend to have a seat, pay close attention and take notes. Now, you and Mr. Hot Stud proceed to undress each other and spend several minutes feeling, kissing, licking, sucking and other forms of foreplay. Hopefully, you'll get off at least a couple times during foreplay. Lord only knows your way past due. Then have him screw your lights out. Due it in 3 or 4 different positions and end up with him pile driving you doggie style. After that have him roll over on his back and you finish him off with your hands and mouth. ALL THIS WHILE YOUR BOYFRIEND IS WATCHING RIGHT NEXT TO THE BED. I think he will pick up quite a few pointers, don't you???
2007-01-03 06:18:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why aren't you getting anything out of the foreplay?There's lots of things he can do for you to make sure you get yours!Tell him to slow down and take his time!I've been in a relationship for 8 years and theres still time when the sex only last 3 min's..Good Luck!
2007-01-03 06:11:45 · answer #6 · answered by molliehollie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If that was my boy friend I would use items to control him and I would train him to be a real man.
1, he would not get any pleasure until he orally satified me
2, he would have numing gel rubbed on his member
3, he would be placed in a cock ring
4, he would have to wear two condoms and once i had one he can remove one, after my secound org he can remove the secound one
5, I would train him to not be such a fast squirter by giving him hand jobs where i control the tempo.
See most men that *** fast do so because they trained there orgain to do so through self masterbating. You can re-train him to be a better lover through the same tecnech by you taking over all his joy. Most men will masterbate behind your back so for total control you might concider a chastity device and keep him under lock and key.
The rewards are better and harder orgasm for him and more for you as well.
2007-01-04 02:38:00 · answer #7 · answered by Mrs Lisa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it sounds like he is being selfish. Foreplay is the key here... you can and should be getting pleasure from it and he should be taking care of you first. There are many ways to do this. Also, maybe he should try taking care of himself before he see you. If he is unwilling to go out of his way to make sure that you are getting pleasure then I would be willing to bet that he is selfish in other ways as well and perhaps you should think about moving on.
2007-01-03 06:12:25 · answer #8 · answered by flappymcp 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can do something about it. Over the last year you have been training your guy to climax in 2-3 min. If not training him to do so you are not helping to lengthen the time. Fore play is a good thing. Get you boy friend used to lasting longer and longer with stimulation in other ways. Yes...train him to last longer! Keep control of the motions and stimulation and back off before he climaxes. He will start getting used to lasting longer.
2007-01-03 06:12:12 · answer #9 · answered by Thomas 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you using condoms? If not try that...many times men will say that using a condom is desensitize them allowing them to last longer (or a cream for numbing).
Now about the foreplay...why is he the only one getting anything out of it? Ummm, hello tell him to have some 'dinner' if you know what I mean...he can take care of you that way.
If nothing else he may consider using toys, 'rings'...or seeing a doctor.
2007-01-03 06:11:46 · answer #10 · answered by ~Just A Girl~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't get anything out of foreplay, then honey, he ain't doin' it right. Other than that, he needs to find some methods of prolonging his staying power. Go to a book store together and find a self-help sex book and work on it together. Maybe he just finds you to be soooooo dxmn hot that he can't last that long! Good luck.
2007-01-03 06:11:59 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋