Etiquette question about neighbor who hates my dogs?

Question

When I am at work my two dogs are left in my backyard. We live on a golf course, and my neighbor is repeatedly calling the cops/animal control about my dogs barking at the golfers. One day I stayed home (wasn't feeling well and also wanted to see if the dogs were really making so much noise). The dogs barked once, and within 10 seconds the neighbor was in her backyard... screaming at my dogs and telling them to "shut the f*** up". Am I in the wrong for keeping my dogs outside? If so, should I apologize? If she is just being a jerk is it appropriate to talk to her one on one? Thanks

Answer 1

I'm a dog owner and I went through some problems with a neighbor who objected to my dog barking.

My knee-jerk reaction was to be upset with the neighbor complaining and just ignore him (or get into direct conflict with him), but I decided that that wasn't really the way to go.

Thing one: during much of the day I was not at home. If my neighbor got het up enough about the dog barking to do something bad (i.e., throw poisoned meat over the fence at the dog or even let the dog out of the yard), my dog and I would be the losers and who was "right" wouldn't matter.

Thing two: I had no idea how well-balanced my neighbor was. Nobody believes catastrophe can happen to them, or that someone unhinged can harm them, until it's too late.

Thing three: To my neighbor, I represented dog owners in general. There are already lots of people out there who hate dogs. Did I want to give one more person one more reason to hate dogs?

Thing four: I really did not know, day in and day out, how bad my dog's barking was during the daytime.

So what I did: I went to my neighbor, apologized to him for his inconvenience, and made some changes. First off, I started taking my dog out for walks more often, which I should have been doing in the first place. That helped.

Then I looked into ways of decreasing the amount of barking. After considering alternatives, I settled on a "bark collar." This is a battery-operated collar that delivers a small shock when noise activates the sensor device. The collar I bought had varying sensitivities to noise, and varying levels of shock. I tried it out on myself, and was satisfied that it was not going to hurt my dog. I checked with a couple of other dog owners I knew who used the same kind of collar, and satisfied myself that the the dogs who wore it did not fear wearing it, were not harmed or stressed by wearing it, and did in fact keep quieter.

It worked for me. Combined with the extra attention I gave my dog, the collar reduced his barking to practically zero. After discussion with my neighbor, he agreed that it was reasonable that my dog should not have to wear it all the time, and we agreed on a schedule of putting the collar on that worked for both of us. (I honestly think that my neighbor just wanted to know that I was taking his complaints seriously and was willing to work with him, and that once he knew that he was willing to be more tolerant of my dog barking because he knew that if he had a problem, I'd work with him on it.)

I'd suggest you try this approach with your neighbor. Be courteous, acknowledge that you hear her concerns, and that you will work with her to try to alleviate the problem. The collar I used for my dog wasn't cheap-- it was about $70-- but it sure helped the situation and I didn't have any problems with the neighbor after that.

Best of all, I knew I didn't have to worry that my neighbor might harm my dog or vandalize my property, which I know has happened to other people in dog-barking complaints.

Answer 2

It depends on the weather/climate you live in. I live in New England, and I think it's mean to keep dogs outside all day around here, but people do it and the dogs bark in misery because of it. I also think that if you have dogs, and if you live in close quarters with neighbors, you shouldn't leave your dogs outside for long periods of time to bark. People should get breeds that they can keep indoors. Dogs get lonely and bark out of loneliness and frustration. Your neighbor may be really quick to call the police or animal control because she knows that once the dogs start barking, they'll never stop.
I think you should wait until you're feeling calm, then go over to your neighbor and discuss a solution that you will both be happy with. Maybe there is a time during the day that she won't mind the dogs being outside.

Answer 3

Have you thought about doggy day-care? Maybe a couple days a week at a playgroup while you are at work would benefit the dogs as well as the neighbor's ears. I have dogs as well, and keep them inside as much as possible apart from when I am home and can monitor their behavior. Dogs bark, it's a fact. There are, however, things you can do to keep them from becoming a nuisance.

Could you try keeping them in a few days a week? Is there more to the story than you mention? Have your neighbors and you had altercations in the past? Some people are just not doggy people unfortunately.

Answer 4

No, it would be more wrong to leave the dogs inside all day. Dogs need to be outside. And, having the dogs bark during the day is not a big deal. If, however, they bark at night, the neighbor does have the right to say something. But, your neighbor just sounds like an asshole to me

Answer 5

I think you have every right to keep your dogs in your back yard. Have you tried to talk to your neighbor about this? I would just casually talk to her about it and mention that it is normal for dogs to bark occasionally.
You said the dogs barked only once that time you didn't feel good, but , maybe it was because you were home and they didn't feel like they had to "protect" the property.
Have you talked to the animal warden about it?
I have had a neighbor dog once that barked incessantly day and night, it was terrible, but it doesn't seem that your dogs do that.
I would not apologize, per se, just talk to her and see if there is anyway to make the situation better


Good luck !

Answer 6

although it is your yard as you say, if you want to leave your dogs out all the time and allow them to bark you should move to a house that has no neighbors.

I have owned dogs all my life and i have never allowed them to bark or sit outside constantly. Even if it is nice out I don't think it's right to leave an animal outside for an entire day, especially if you aren't home. That's just neglectful and you are unnecessarily putting your dog in harms way and irritating others.

Really, animal laws are there to protect all involved, and even with a fenced in yard some psycho could still get at your dogs, or your dogs at them and then you'd really be hating life. When you were home that might not be an accurate accounting of what actually takes place on a day to day basis, although I do agree that what that woman did was completely out of line and rude.

Just deal with her one on one, but be respectful about it and apologize. That way if she continues to complain it will make her look pretty stupid to the cops, and if she keeps calling them they will eventually get tired of her. The cops might even tell you to get rid of them if she complains enough. But, I also think your dogs should be inside if you are not home to watch them - kind of like kids. Can't be left unattended for long periods of time, especially outside.

Answer 7

They're good people with good intentions but they're not good neighbors. We're only a couple feet apart and since it's just a turnaround driveway for most of our road they park outside my window so I feel like I have to have my blinds shut all the time. They also let their dog get loose daily and have had animal control fine them, but have yet to take it away. I love that dog but it needs to be taken away from them. He also will turn the bass up on his cars when there's people over, and twice I've had things vibrate off the shelves of my walls because of it. Another reason I hate them parking so close to my room. I got a good vent out myself!

Answer 8

I know that dogs are very lovable and I love them too and I do not mind it barking, my neighbours dogs bark a lot too..but it is not very pleasant for people who do not like it. I feel that it is justified for them to feel irritated. I would suggest that you take some remedial steps to stop this from happening in the future. The first step would be to apologize to the neighbours and then go on from there.

Answer 9

perhaps since you were at home your dogs do not bark alot ?
it may be annoying to others to hear your dogs bark ?
i do not know if your neighbor is a jerk ?
he may be tired of hearing your dogs .......i do not have a dog ,but some of the people around me do , they bark all day , in the summer , it is annoying to hear them bark all day while their owners are away .......in the evening they do stop .i imagine the owner is back .it does go all day long without stopping ;
i dod not know what to tell you about this dilemma ?

Answer 10

I am a dog lover....They are a nuisance when barking all the time
but you don't really know.

Your neighbor is entitled to peace and quiet in her home.
You should move to an area with a large lot so that your dogs
don't annoy your neighbors.