Why do men find it so hard to forgive their father?

Question

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Answer 1

They don't forgive mothers either.

Answer 2

You don't so what the situation is Some things may not be forgiveable. If it is abuse thay can not forgive then they may be concerned that they are capable of the same behavior; they may not have been able to forgive themselves for being victims; or they may believe thy caused their fathers to behave in that abusive way. If the situation is more benign and recent, then they many not be done resolving it for themselves and may not know how to converse about their feelings, their anger, and readjusting to the image of their fathers as less than perfect. Alot of men, even modern men. have not been taught the nuts and bolts of intimate conversations and how to resolve conflicts with words. How to say I am sorry and and how to grant forgiveness in a genuine and permanent way. The book store should be a great place to find a book on the subject if your husband doesn't have a male role model to turn to for advice (expecially if Dad is not allowed in the picture right now). Good Luck to you

Answer 3

Personally I think it is the way you were brought up. My father was and isn't the best father as of yet, but when I grew up and had a family of my own I realized that all that hate that I had towards him, had just left me. BUT my brother on the other hand hasn't been able to forgive our father for all the things that we went through. I am talking about hard stuff, not hard drugs but Alcohol! Abuse, well you name it.

You can tell the he hates him in the way that he treats him, but it wouldn't do any good to say anything, he has to figure it out on his own. It doesn't help if your mother makes him look even worse than what it is.

Best of luck!

Answer 4

Their fathers are supposed to be their role models. It is not a matter of hurting a boy/man so much as destroying who they could be. Abusive or neglectful fathers are supposed to teach their sons how to be men and when these men are bad examples or walk out all together, it is as if they are saying,"Not only do I not want you now, but I don't want anyone else to see value in you so I won't teach you anything good." It is an attack on the essence of the boy/man by his father.

Answer 5

stubbornness- i suppose- they probably secretly forgive them, but because men generally have trouble expressing their emotions they never say they forgive them- of course i don't know what the situation is for- and why they would need to be forgiving in the first place- maybe something was done that was so horrible- that it's wrong to even ask forgiveness

Answer 6

Well .. depending on what the father has done ....

Parents need to set the best examples for their children and sometimes when parents don't live up to expectations, it can be really difficult for the child.

Yes, parents need to be careful with every decision they make because it does effect their children -- both directly and indirectly.

Since its unclear what the dad has done, I can't give any real insight. However, with time people do come around. So just give your son time :)

Hope that helps

Answer 7

Instead of forgiving their fathers, some men simply give up on them. Sometimes when there is bad blood, you have to discard it.

Answer 8

men tend to remember a painful incident much longer...since they hardly talk about their sorrows with anyone, they cannot lower the irritation or get good advice. in the end, they end up thinking that they are right. so they cannot easily forgive their fathers.

Answer 9

We have to learn that if we want God to forgive us for the mess that we have done, we have got to forgive others also. We are hypocrites if not!

Answer 10

i think it's because boys look up to their fathers .in general it's hard to forgive anyone but we all have to for give or our lives
would suck... remember no one is perfect.