Is it just me, or are young women's mind's really screwed up when it comes to relationship?

Question

All of my female friends have kids. All but one of them are struggling single mother's who are doing their best to raise their kids in a single parent home. A couple of them have been pregnant multiple times and have had abortions to get rid of the children that they don't want.
I asked one of my friends why does she stay with her boyfriend who she has complained to me about many times and has called a no good looser on many occasions. She told me that she stays with him because it is better than being alone. This seems to be the consensous of a lot of young women today. "I would rather have a piece of slop man than be alone". I don't understand this kind of thinking at all. I'm 30 single, no kids, no man and I am very happy to be single. It doesn't bother me at all that I don't have some no good looser laying up in my bed living off of me. Am I the only one that feels this way??

Answer 1

Yes, Society as a whole, our female culture is twisted. Not all, but the majority. I love teenagers, I have a passion for helping people especially teens and young adults. I listen to young children play house. They don't talk like we used to. Remember when we played house? "Honey, I'm home." "Hi Dear, How was work?" "Oh, it was okay but it's good to be home. Where are the kids?"....etc. Now-a-days....."Guuuurrrllll, I saw yo Baby Daddy at the club last night." "Which one?" "Darrel." "He gave me 35 dollars yesterday so I ain't even mad."................These are 4 and 5 year old girls. No husband, no job, Just Baby Daddy's and money. That's the life that they're going to grow up and know. I know that's not quite the scenario that you were giving but it's twisted all the way around. Women place no value on themselves anymore.

The main reason is the majority of children don't have in house fathers anymore. Without a father to draw the lines of affection with a young girl. They seek affection outside, and the comfort of a male figure, it usually turns to inappropriate affection that they become accustomed to over time. No matter what else comes along with it, they'd rather, as you said "have a peice of slop man than be alone." You want to make sure this doesn't happen to your children. Get married to a good man before you have some. That way your house has some order and structure to it. Don't leave your home incomplete or your childs upbringing will be.

Answer 2

Well, I think girls get the idea that after highschool you get married - and many of them learned that from their parents. I think people don't really fully mature until around 30 - I mean, our 20s are the last phase of the training, I think.

We all form very unrealistic ideas in high school about what the world is all about and then learn through our 20s what life is really all about and what is most important to us - but for those girls who think they know better and then get pregnant or marry too young, simply because that's the only way they can think of to get out of their parents house or that's what you do or I don't know what.

Of course, by the time you have a kid, you are committed to a situation for the next 20 years and that can be very very hard for a young woman with no skills and a young partner who feels he can just skip and leave her holding the bag. If you have a guy there, even if he can handle one thing (like pay the bills, watch the kids, have a mother who is willing to give money,etc.) you are in a better situation than if you are completely alone.

And if I was you I would lay off the "I don't understand..." thing. If you say that enough, I have found often the universe will show you by putting you in that situation so you can see and understand 1st hand how that happens and the choices available.

Peace!

Answer 3

You put yourself in this situation on your own. When you have an affair you break the trust in a marriage, that can be irreparable no matter how much time passes. You cannot blame her for never getting over it, you never should have committed it. You should be paying the price, but unfortunately she is. Don't dare try to blame it on her. As for you new indiscretion - how did your affair with your co-worker start? I bet it started with some flirtatious conversation, progressed into sexual innuendo, and then into a relationship. How far were you going to let this "harmless" flirting go? I bet you didn't have the good sense to think about where it was leading until your wife found it. You are trying to sound like your "selfish" wife is ripping your family apart, when you are really the selfish one who put your wife in a situation where she feels she can no longer trust you. Maybe she feels like she doesn't want to waste anymore time with a man that will eventually let her down anyway. Honestly, I'm all for keeping a marriage together. But it concerns me greatly that you refuse to acknowledge how harmful and damaging your behavior is. Apologizing does nothing, actions speak louder than words. If you do have some great epiphany and realize that you are a man with a problem, tendencies towards unfaithfulness, then it would be great if you could get her to hold off until you can see a counselor.

Answer 4

As a guy that's 28 and single with no kids and never married, I'd have to say that it has a lot to do with their upbringing. I don't find divorce or having a child outside of wedlock acceptable even if it's the norm. I'm not saying i'm against sex before marriage or anything of the sort. I won't date a woman that's been married nor will I date one that has a child. I don't want kids, and I really don't want to get married. I have high standards, and I expect the women I date to have them as well. Wear a condom, and use birth control if you don't want a child, or just don't have sex... A big no on that one, then wrap it up.

Back to your question. No, you aren't the only one that feels that way. Some people, and some women, just can't stand to be alone. I feel sorry for them.

Answer 5

Holy smokes are you ever a breath of fresh air, and I agree wholeheartedly with everything you said. I will never understand why women will date a man who's nothing but a leech and a scum bag loser. I also can't believe the questions I see on here from women who are still with a man who is in prison, I mean come on! Some women will stay in these types of relationships because there very insecure and needy. I truely feel for the children. I am 49 and single and would want nothing to do with a women who beahved like the men you desrcirbed.

Answer 6

Their minds are screwed up before the relationship. The kids and bf just brought it to the service. I am 28 (almost). I have a wonderful daughter that I adore raising. Not all single moms are whores. I was a virgin (and a cute one at that) till I was 22. I married an idiot. We are divorcing. He supports his child and is involved in her life.

I rather be alone than in a cruddy relationship. Some women think they can't make it without a man or it is too hard. I think it is easier on some aspects to be single. I also realize I am lucky to be smart, independent and with a college education. Not all single mom's are welfare recipients.

Answer 7

Not the only one, but one of the few.
Once u get into a relationship its hard to just throw it away. I always thought that i should keep the one i was with at the time simply because the next one might be the same or even worse. These friends of yours have dug themselves into holes having these babies.
Im sure there are good men out there, but once a girl has a baby there aren't alot of men that are willing to take on that responsibility , especially if its not his own child. Hopefully there will come a time that women feel good enough about themselves that they don't have to go search for love in all the wrong places.

Answer 8

You are not the only one that feels this way. I'm in my early twenties and I won't let my boyfriend live with me. He has to prove to me that he can at least live on his own and thrive before I even consider living together. I have standards, yes they are high, but they are also not impossible.

I can't believe 30 year old women "would rather have a piece of slop man than be alone". Is the sex that good?!

Answer 9

Relationships are lose-lose situations for all concerned. Both parties end up hating the other; and all your family and friends suffer the consequences.

It's amazing the human race has survived at all.

The problem with relationships is expectations. Women have way too many, and most men can't live up to these. The consequence is disatisfied and angry partners. The culprit is societal pressure - recently identified as status anxiety, part and parcel of the rat race.

A little more organic and a little less prada would help all round I recon.

LT

Answer 10

I'm 14 and my view is probably going to be different from yours, since you are an adult and I'm just a teen. But I agree with you. So many people around my age are pregnant and are with guys who aren't treating them right. I don't like how young women think that it's better to have a guy like that than being alone. I'd rather be single than be with a man who doesn't know how to respect a lady and act like the man he claims to be.
I would like to get married and have kids, but unlike the kids around my age who gotta have them now-I can wait until I find a guy who's respectful and mature and just doesn't want me for my body or something.

It feels great to know that I'm the only one who feels this way! Have a nice day! :)