I hear women/men say all the time that they want kids NOW. Yet, most of them haven't finished school or don't have stable jobs/income. I just need to understand why people are in such a hurry to have children when they are still pursuing their careers or trying to finish college. What is the rush?
2007-01-03 04:38:13 · 46 answers · asked by phillylady4u 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You know you are right. I was with my x for five years, and we rushed into moving in with eachother, it's almost like we forgot about the whole getting married part and planning the big day, we were trying to have a baby, and then I relized what are we doing...we are no longer together, my whole view on this issue changed, I always thought that you could have a child and not be married just as long as the child had to parents that love it, now I think you should get married first and enjoy eachother then plan for kids...when your married :)
2007-01-03 04:45:31 · answer #1 · answered by Little Miss 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I had children before I finished school and before I got married. I wanted them by a certain age and that's what I did.
Most people today don't want to get married or don't necessarily feel the need to be married. It's just a piece of paper, so many feel that there is no rush. And anyways, this is America. Marriage is a JOKE.
That decision is based soley on the individual. What is considered to be a steady job? There is no such thing as a steady job in 2007. Anything could happen. So why would someone want to spend the rest of their life in fear or waiting to be "perfect"? Sometimes I wonder why some people wait until they are 35 and fourty to have children. Any way you look at it, you will never be ready. And that's the truth.
What is considered a steady home? A married couple who have domestic violence occuring every night? Marriage does not make problems go away.
And why do people keep talking about welfare checks and child support? That is a generalization! Don't you think that two people can get divorced and the Mom now accepts welfare?
And to whose standards are we living? Who are you to judge? Because it sounds like you are judging me, and I'm probably more successful than you????!
2007-01-03 05:07:17 · answer #2 · answered by Shannon 2 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Good question! People act as though having a kid is like having a new dog!Such things need more maturity. Besides I also don't understand that rush....after all once you have a child you'll have it till the end of your life and it will come first always - what the child needs will be the most important issue. So relax,people, and live your lives as long as you can! :)
2007-01-03 04:45:16 · answer #3 · answered by Victory 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
They are in a rush because they are stupid. They want to be like Angelina Jolie. There is no rush. You are completely 100% right when you say that you should finish school and get a stable job and a career before you even think about having kids. You should also be married when you have kids as well. Don't worry. They will all regret what they have done and you will be laughing in their faces when you have the dream home and family, and living well with your husband, and they are working at McDonald's, trying to raise kids as single moms.
2007-01-03 04:57:52 · answer #4 · answered by Sax M 6 · 3⤊ 2⤋
I agree w/ DJBrookSC. Whoever said you have to go to school, and have an established career before you start a family? If that was the case about 90% of the world's population would not be here. Establishing a stronghold in any career is a lifelong process, there is really no clearly defined time where one can say, "Oh I am now successful enough to have kids." People who try to micromanage their lives to such a degree I feel are obsessive compulsive types who are missing out on a lot of living by seeking to control every single detail. Life knows what life wants and I'm living proof. My mother was starting her second year of college when she was blessed with me. She could have aborted me or given me up for adoption because she hadn't yet conquered the world but she realised that I was a gift and maybe it was going to be my job to help her do just that. Get it? I know I rambled but I just know a lot of people with children who didn't wait to the most opportune times to have them but their lives are wonderful and they wouldn't change it for the world.
2007-01-03 05:01:18 · answer #5 · answered by Twinki 2 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Today its all about fulfilling ones wants and needs without thought of the consequences. A lot of people are all into the whole instant gratification thing. Besides women are taught today that once you're at a certain age you should be doing certain things and once you've moved past that stage you might lose your appeal. If you ask me society has been teaching a lot of us the wrong things. I don't know, but each person is entitled to make their decision but they should also accept responsibility for making that decision and dealing with the consequences. Besides we live in a world where as young as 13 is having sex and most often unprotected sex even with all the sex education out there. The human race has become careless, neglectful and selfish. So sad.
2007-01-03 04:58:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think many people haven't actually thought out their priorities in life. They think that having kids and then have someone else raise them is alright because the haven't reached their goal, like having kids in between will help. People should realize that our kids will have a much better chance if the grow up in a stable household instead of an uneven and struggling one. When I got married, my wife and me made sure we were prepared, both financially and mentally to have kids. I mean we didn't have to wait 5 or 10 years, but we made sure we would give our kids a fair beginning.
Most of the times it's better to start life counting at 1 than 0.
2007-01-03 05:10:24 · answer #7 · answered by This, That & such 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Okay I have a child and I had her when I was 24. Things just happen! I was using protection but the patch didn't work too well. Plus I've been with my boyfriend, now Fiance, for a little over 3 years. I am 25 now and he proposed to me last May. The thing is is even though we are very happy and have a child together I don't want to get married until I am 30. A child is the best gift anyone could get...Marriage doesn't always last but a child's love does. I'm taking it that you don't have any children.
2007-01-03 05:21:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
Well young teens do it to keep their boyfriends. Some adults don't want to deal with the legal aspect of divorce because nearly 50% of marriages end in divorce. Peronally i'd rather be married and i am and still in college for 6 mos. then i'll have my baby.
2007-01-03 04:43:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think the majoity of persons whosay such things are not fully happy with their lifes,.and believe if some thing as wonder as getting a baby may fill the space of emptyness.It only makes it worse! I've seen it happen.I too wanted a child but it was for all the worry reasons.I surely believe in want until marriage.ARE'T WE WORTH IT?
2007-01-03 04:58:44 · answer #10 · answered by FM radio 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋