Was it right to tell a male friend that somebody he was interested in is HIV positive.?

Question

My male friend is a bit of a charmer and womaniser (He has a lovely girlfriend who has a 10 year old daughter). He started chatting up a friend of mine who has told me she is HIV positive. Then they left together to go for dinner. He and his girlfriend were fighting at the time and I know from a previous argument he slept with another woman. I was so worried he would sleep with my HIV positive friend and then go back to his girlfriend, that I told him she was HIV. I feel terrible about it, but my concern was for the mother and daughter. He got a shock when I told him, and has been behaving himself since. This was a month ago, and I cant stop thinking I broke my HIV positive friends trust. She doesnt know yet.

Answer 1

You might had saved a life. At least gave your male friend a wake up call. U might had saved someone from getting hiv. BE quite and if she asks tell her in a loving way! IF she is a real friend she would understand about the little gurl and her mom! She wouldn't want anyone to wake up with a death sentence like what HIV leads too! That was noble not low As a woman i would appreciate that! God bless you are a special friend to all~

Answer 2

I completely understand that you were trying to help the mother and daughter and even your male friend, but I dont think that was the right way to do it. Surely the HIV positive lady is a grown woman and that sort of thing should have been left to her to tell him. But its great that you acted out of the interest of the mother and daughter, I feel that the right thing to do now is to let your other female friend know that you told your male friend she is HIV positive and that you're sorry(if you are), because the thing is with things like these, the truth always comes out and rather from you than someone else. Its gonna be difficult but sometimes the right thing isnt always the easiest thing to do, as you know..

Answer 3

That sucks, but you did the right thing. Think how much worse you would feel if your male friend ended up contracting the disease!! Technically, you broke your HIV positive friend's trust, but it was the right thing to do. She should have told your other friend about it, and if she didn't, then she is not much of a person. If that is the case, then you can probably find better friends than that.

Answer 4

Did your friend tell you in confidence that she had HIV? Did she ask you not to tell anyone? In that case, you definitely broke her trust and that was wrong. It is her responsibility, not yours, to tell her partners that she has HIV.
But you did it for the right reason, so that no one else would get hurt.
Odd that you will interfere so that no one gets infected... but you don't interfere to keep your male friend from cheating on his wife. If you were really concerned for the wife and daughter, you would have done something about that.
Hindsight is 20/20, but probably the best course of action would have been to take your male friend aside before he left for dinner and told him, "I know you're have problems with your wife, and I know what happened the last time you argued... for everyone's sake I *really* hope you don't try to repeat that. And if you're going to sleep with (female friend) anyway, you *need* to talk with her first because there's something she needs to tell you. We're still friends, but if you keep up this behavior, don't expect me to lie for you."
That way, you wouldn't reveal anyone's secrets, and you would be reminding your male friend that there are consequences to his actions.

Answer 5

You should have told him better yet she should have told him. HIV is not something that should be concealed from anyone where sex is a possibility even if you are protecting yourself. It may not be fair but it is as if the woman is carrying around a loaded gun. Would you have told him that? You bet. Sorry you were right and should not have harsh feelings about doing the right thing. It is not like you put up a billboard

Answer 6

That's a no-win situation....in the end, you did the right thing by protecting the child from losing either of her parents to HIV/AIDS, due to the father's poor judgement. You did, however, break your friends trust and confidentiality...but it was for a good cause. If she finds out and is upset, then tell her your logic for doing so and you are sorry that you had to tell her "secret"...hopefully she will understand.

Answer 7

No. You saved many people from experiencing a terrible disease and eventual death. If more people like you were around it would be helpful.
Remember, you have to also tell your friends that condoms don't stop HIV / AIDS. The virus is smaller than standard cracks in Condoms

Answer 8

Well, I can understand why you did it, but it doesn't make it right. It was your friend's choice to tell this man, not yours. If and when she finds out, your friendship might be over. I'm sorry you are in such a hard position, but you can't decided for other people. And who is to say your friend would have slept with him without any protection? Just be honest and hope for the best.

Answer 9

Hard situation. But I think you did the right thing. I don't think you had a choice given the situation. The next thing I would do is make an anonymous call to the girlfriend telling her that he's a cheater. If he's indiscriminate enough, he could still wind up giving her something.

Answer 10

Yes you definitely did the right thing!! You probably saved a bunch of lives!! Don't worry about breaking your friends trust she should have done the right thing and told the guy herself if they planned on sleeping together. Then it would not have been a secret anyway.